The Saga - Ghosts

If you missed the previous installments of this saga:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

So on with the next installment that makes the fact that Bobby Ewing was in the shower for a whole season of Dallas look like a great plot after all - the saga continues.

With Amy Sampson dead, and the police having many unanswered questions, Mo is totally aware that the last 6 months have all been borrowed time as an international manhunt has continued.

The sound from the television all of a sudden seemed familiar. Looking up Mo saw her name on the bottom of the screen. Anderson Cooper continued to speak: "After 6 months police across the world still seem unable to capture Monique Van Boxtel. She is wanted in connection with at least 2 murders and the attempted assassination of Michael Jackson in June. Inspector Andy Cole, of Interpol, will be with us after the break."

A single tear rolled down her cheek as Mo once again looked at her laptop screen. The annoying voice from AOL announced: "You've got femail." The lesbian joke still brought a semi-smile to the face of Mo; no matter how bad she was feeling.

Something was not right. The sender was simply AFriend@gmail.com. Mo had never seen that email address before; but something inside her told her to open it.

It simply read "I am a friend."

Another email arrived from the same address. This time it read "Look behind you."

Mo swung around in her chair expecting to see an undercover cop; but it was Lara. As they spoke she explained that since the manhunt had begun she she had been trying to track Mo down.

Lara: I asked about you on the forums, on Twitter, I even spoke to 4 Michael Jacksons.
Mo: How did you find me?
Lara: Eventually I got told on MySpace where you were seen. The odd thing is the person signed the message as ~Souza~.
Mo: How the hell could it be Souza? She is dead.
Lara: Well I got in touch with Badkolo. He traced the IP address to his Mom's front room. Anyway I got another message yesterday which said you was in this town.
Mo: BADKOLO! I thought he was dead.
Lara: So did I.
Mo: But if this person knows I am here then it won't be long before the police know.
Lara: That is why we have to get away from here.

As Lara and Mo left the cafe Mo couldn't help but feel she was being watched. A figure stepped out of the shadows and sniffed the chair that Mo had been sitting on.

Lara should never have mentioned Souza. As Lara drove all Mo could see was Souza. No matter where she looked Souza was there. A small girl carrying a red balloon suddenly morphed into Souza. The man selling hot dogs suddenly morphed into Souza. It was the nightmare that Mo had been living every day since she had killed Souza. In Mo's mind Souza was everywhere; as she had been since the day Souza died.

Lara: So where to?
Mo: Anywhere.
Lara: We need to rest. Make a fresh start in the morning.
Mo: Sounds good.

Pulling into a motel Lara went in alone to book the room while Mo waited in the vehicle. Once in the room Mo laid on the bed and fell asleep instantly; for the first time in months feeling safe enough to sleep fully.

Waking, the next morning, Mo couldn't move. As she became aware of things, little by little, she realized her hands and feet were handcuffed to the bed. Thoughts ran through her head - was it the police? why would the police do this? She struggled to free herself to no avail.

Mo: We haven't got time for this kinky shit. I like you and all; but we just don't have the time.
Lara: I like you too. But I don't eat fish tacos.
Mo: What the fuck?
Lara: Goodbye.

Mo let out a scream as Lara left. Alone, handcuffed to the bed, she wondered what her fate was. After what seemed like hours, but in reality was mere seconds, the door opened.

Souza: Hello Mo.
Mo: It can't be. You are dead.
Souza: (pressing her hand against Mo) Do I feel dead?
Mo: I killed you. I saw your lifeless body.
Souza: Did the MJ hoax teach you nothing? All the things we investigated together.
Mo: Fuck you. I investigated everything you just thought up new plans to deceive everyone. Getting banned at MJHD, creating TS and TIAI. You stupid cunt you thought nobody would work it out; but they did.
Souza: But by then everyone thought we were a team. You couldn't say anything. If I fell then you would fall along with me.
Mo: Well it doesn't matter now Michael is alive; the whole world knows it.
Souza: And poor little Amy is a rotting corpse somewhere.
Mo: You are fucking crazy.
Souza: No. What was crazy was trying to kill MJ. He gave me my fame, my platform to push the Illuminati down peoples throats, he gave me glory.
Mo: Well you are fucked then because he is back.
Souza: That is why you are going to help me kidnap him.
Mo: I am not helping you do shit. I'll go to the police and tell them you are alive and what you are planning to do.
Souza: I don't think so. After all you killed me. As far as I am concerned they think I'm dead.
Mo: I won't help you bitch.

Mo struggled to get free. But it was impossible. She broke down in tears as she realized her only way out of this nightmare was to help Souza. She thought about it. She had been the on that had helped Souza all along - fooling people, lying, plotting to kill - but this was too much.

Souza sat by the bed and whispered "I'll be back soon my dear." She kissed Mo on the cheek and then covered her mouth with duct tape. She turned the TV on. A local news reporter was at a car wreck. The driver had been identified as Lara; and was pronounced dead at the scene.

Souza laughed as she left the room; locking the door behind her.


Cuss Count: High

Legal Notice: All characters, and events, are fictional. Any resembelance to people on hoax forums is merely coincidental.


Merry Christmas From MJHDC

Tis the season to be jolly and all that happy horse shit; so without further ado here is a gift from myself to all.

A "Word Search" puzzle created using the top 50 words in the Label Cloud of this very blog. So while the relatives are wasted on the couch from your alcohol; and the kids are screaming that there are no batteries you can while away a few minutes.

Be ultra trendy and share with friends, family, and pets. Print out the PDF file and share with work colleagues if you want.

Peace; and Merry Christmas.

Cuss Count: Seasonal

Legal Notice: The word search puzzle is provided "as is" and all words have been checked to appear in the puzzle.


Hoaxer Christmas Gifts

Fuck searching eBay for Christmas presents for the hoaxer in your life. Now exclusively from MJHDC productions a selection of gifts are available. All orders placed before December 22 will be shipped in time for Christmas no matter what corner of the world you live in.

The Foam Finger: Tired of supporting your team to see some over-paid asshole fuck up on the field and lose the match for nothing? Well now you can support Souza and Mo as they take to the battlefields. Who will win? Who knows or cares? But you can show your support for either side with this giant 'Flip The Foam' finger. So fuck off Souza and fuck off Mo; support who the fuck you want for just $29.95

The TS Calculator: Confused by the Souza/TS/TIAI posts and how they worked that shit out? No longer do you need to worry as no matter what number you press on this 'unofficial official TS calculator' the answer will always be 7; or a derivative of 7 such as 777. Hoaxing clues will no longer baffle you as you look like Albert Einstein on crack with this unofficial official TS calculator. Yours for the low, low, price of $7.77

Rosetta Stone (Mauraish): Are you a hoaxer that doesn't live in a gutter? Are you confused by the crazy fucked up ebonics that Maura spouts out of her mouth? Fear no more. MJHDC in association with Rosetta Stone present Mauraish levels 1 - 5. By the time you have finished this world class software course you will be able to speak like Maura; and be able to back track anything you say without making sense. Michael's message has never been so fucking filthy. Yours for the steal of a price $49.99

The MJ Dildo: Finished talking to Michael on Twitter, Facebook, or Myspace? Why does it have to end there? Now with this exclusive sex toy it doesn't have to. Plug it into the USB port of your computer and whenever that fake MJ on Twitter, Facebook, or Myspace types "hee hee" you'll feel the pulsations of joy rush through your body. This gift is 100% fun and then some. Styled in the colors vitiligo to guarantee that 'authentic' experience. Just $29.99


Cuss Count: Semi-High

Legal Notice: None of these products really exist and have nothing to do with the companies they may look like they represent. This post is satire; but if you didn't realize that just make your checks payable to MJHDC and send them to the first address you think of.


Calculating The Hoax

In a recent article, in Popular Science, world famous scientist, and all-round brainy person, Stephen Hawking revealed the exact mathematical formula for the Michael Jackson hoax.

Speaking from his Oxfordshire home Stephen Hawking explained the entire formula; and process:

"It was really quite simple once I started on the actual figures. I had been looking at the various TS/TIAI posts concerning numerology already. But when the $999 challenge was issued, by TS, I looked into it a bit more."

Controversy surrounding the TS/Souza link has not deterred Stephen Hawking:

"While looking at the TS/TIAI posts I noticed a really major flaw. No matter what the figures can be calculated in a certain way to equal almost anything. In conclusion the whole thing is crap. As with anything it should be broken down in stages and not just reduced to single digit calculations straight away."

The calculation of the date of the start of the hoax is the first thing Stephen Hawking has an issue with:

"Basically you have three figures to start with and in traditional date calculation these would all be added together. 06 + 25 + 2009; which gives 2040. But TS makes the mistake of thinking 2040 is significant; it isn't it is just a number. It is only part of the calculation; it has no meaning on it's own. You need to go to the next level 20 + 40 = 60 and then the final calculation is merely 6 + 0 = 6."

Stephen Hawking continued:

"So although it may appear that 2040 is important because it appears on a spaceship in the HIStory tour it is to all intent and purpose just a number and any connection is merely coincidence."

With regards to debunking the whole TS theory and claiming the $999 reward; Stephen Hawking said:

"There is no need to debunk the theory and calculations. They do not stand up to any form of mathematical integrity. If the theory had any basis at all then all the calculations would be uniform. You cannot use 2 + 5 = 25 in one calculation and then in another calculation use 2 + 5 = 7 just to match the theory. The same goes for using the year in some calculations and omitting it in others; all dates must be calculated exactly the same for any theory to have a solid basis of plausibility."

Stephen Hawking applied his theory to some of the dates connected with the Michael Jackson hoax to prove that in actuality they mean nothing.

The Hoax Death
06 + 25 + 2009 = 2040 = 20 + 40 = 60 = 6 + 0 = 6

The Memorial
07 + 07 + 2009 = 2023 = 20 + 23 = 43 = 4 + 3 = 7

The Burial
09 + 03 + 2009 = 2021 = 20 + 21 = 41 = 4 + 1 = 5

Michael's Birth Date
08 + 29 + 1958 = 1995 = 19 + 95 = 114 = 11 + 4 = 15 (1 + 5 = 6)

Conrad Murray Preliminary Hearing Date
08 + 23 + 2009 = 2040 = 20 + 40 = 60 = 6 + 0 = 6

"Using any number of calculations will always result in a single digit. As with all theories and calculations there is always a flaw. Using the calculation will always bring you to a single digit. Every date calculation, as long as the number of calculations is ignored, will result in a number ranging from 1 to 9. Using this calculation it is impossible to ever reach absolute zero. So even though I am Stephen Hawking even my calculation is flawed."

M.I.T student, Tekken Yoshimitsu, confirmed the findings in a recent paper entitled 'TS And The Smell Of Cow Manure' where he confirmed that any equation which is unable to use the full spectrum of numerical digits must be, by the laws of mathematical science, flawed to an unknown extent which would be represented by the constant of X.

In his paper he stated:

"All dates will give you a number between 1 and 9. Whether it is 01-01-01 or 06-06-06 it is impossible to reach zero. And with all single digits the number, by coincidence, can be said to represent a certain aspect of any event. For example, the World Trade Center disaster happened on 09 11 2001 which using the equation, 09 + 11 + 2001 = 2021 = 20 + 21 = 41 = 4 + 1 = 5, gives the single digit of 5. This could, in theory, be said to represent the five sides of the Pentagon building which was also attacked."

Although TS was unavailable for comment Souza did email this statement:

"Stephen Hawking is in a wheelchair. I stand 100% that I made. I mean that TS made. I know certain people, Mo, don't agree with it but that is tough. A forum needs only one administrator, and person, as a figurehead not two. If she doesn't agree with me, I mean TS, then she will fall like the rest who stand in my way. I require absolute obedience. As for this Tekken Yoshimitsu; he comes from a country that openly admits to eating dogs. You want to take his word over mine; I mean TS?"

So whether Souza is TS or not; whether the whole Souza/Mo dispute is nothing more than a scripted play it would seem that the scientific community are totally against the whole TS/TIAI theory. Sometimes it is better to look at things from a neutral perspective.


Cuss Count: None

Legal Notice: None of the persons named really made statements. This post although satire does highlight the numerology flaws. And by the way 12 + 12 + 2010 = 2034 = 20 + 34 = 54 = 5 + 4 = 9 which means absolutely nothing at all although in numerology circles 9 is the most humanitarian of them all; which could be a clue but most likely is not.


Interview With MJHDC

As a credit to dementia I decided to interview myself. Fuck knows what Freud would think. However, it does answer a lot questions I have been asked time and time again.

So before I get locked in some mental institute, drugged up and drooling on myself, here is the full unedited interview (or ramblings) with me by me. And to any directors of mental institutes reading this - I want an XL strait jacket so it hangs right.

MJHDC: So your twisted mind created the MJHDC persona; why was that?
Me: Mainly because there was so much bullshit surrounding the forums covering the Michael Jackson hoax death.
MJHDC: I take it you mean Amy Sampson who started MJHD.COM?
Me: Amy was just the start of it all. But unfortunately as with anything you let one dumb fuck do what they want, unopposed, a million more fuckers will follow.
MJHDC: So your initial purpose was to attack Amy Sampson?
Me: No. Everyone thought that for some reason. My initial purpose was to answer all the questions that Amy, as admin of MJHD.COM, refused to answer.
MJHDC: But it didn't stop there. It was like a constant attack on her.
Me: Oh poor Amy and all that happy horse shit. It didn't stop because as I looked into the forum more and more bullshit appeared. The diaper wearing bitch was creating false members, commenting under other account names, and unwilling to admit what her real purpose was. So although it may seem like a constant attack it was just as information came up I posted it; and added the humor for the hell of it.
MJHDC: The diaper wearing - was that really necessary?
Me: Yeah it was. Amy was trying to paint this picture that butter wouldn't melt in her mouth; yet away from the forum she was a completely different person. I just felt that people had a right to know. There was people supporting Amy on the forum that really knew nothing about her. I just thought 'fuck this, if you want to support this fucker you might as well know what you are really supporting'.
MJHDC: So through your blog you feel you are some crusader of justice?
Me: Fuck no. It is just an opinion. It is my take on things. If I think something is wrong I just say it. I don't need anyone to agree with it; its not about popularity. If I was worried about being popular and all that shit I'd be posting about Saint Michael and handing out sunflowers.
MJHDC: But isn't your opinion sometimes crude, vulgar, and down right offensive?
Me: Sometimes. Sure. But the world is sometimes crude, vulgar, and offensive. People are dying needlessly, drug addiction is constantly rising, and the between the rich and the poor is forever widening. Then you have all these little fucking wars. That is reality - reality is not all rainbows, flowers, and candy floss.
MJHDC: So what happened to the bulldog?
Me: The flea ridden mutt got put down. Well, some wish it had. The blog changed. It started off as this blog about semi-serious issues but as some of the hoaxers started taking themselves too seriously I figuratively stepped back and laughed. Hence the Joker. Too many people involved in investigating the hoax are taking things too seriously; like they are the main reason the hoax exists and it is bullshit. If the hoax exists is is because of Michael Jackson and nobody else.
MJHDC: You said "if the hoax exists", does that mean you think it doesn't?
Me: I don't know. I wouldn't want to put my life on the line and say 100% that Michael Jackson is alive. But then again there are some fucked up things that have happened since June 25, 2009 that suggest Michael Jackson did fake his death. I am like so many others - some days it all makes sense but then other days I feel if he faked his death why is allowing some of the shit that goes on? I mean if you were Michael Jackson would you really allow the Californian raisin, Jermaine, to murder your songs in a so-called tribute?
MJHDC: You have been pretty vocal on your criticism of the Jackson family. Some have suggested it is very disrespectful.
Me: That goes back to me not giving a shit if people agree or not. It is just how I see it.You have all these fuckers saying Boycott Sony and Oprah because they are just making money off Michael's name. But the family is no different. Where were these cunts when Michael needed them? Absolutely nowhere to be seen. Now he is either hiding, or dead, and these fucking leeches crawl out of the woodwork bleating about Michael for their own personal fame and fortune. So it is alright to use and abuse Michael's name, and legacy, as long as you are a Jackson? Bullshit, the fuckers are no better than Shmuley, Faye, Bashir, and all the other cunts that are using Michael's name as a stepping stone to further themselves.
MJHDC: So you are saying there is no difference between Katherine Jackson and Rabbi Shmuley?
Me: None whatsoever. They both wrote books to cash in on Michael's name; and in both cases it is something they should have kept to themselves.
MJHDC: Some would suggest the same of your opinion; and you should keep it to yourself.
Me: It is an opinion. I don't force anyone to read it. I don't go round pointing a gun at peoples heads or anything. They don't want to read it that is fine with me. They don't like what I say they can fuck off to somewhere warm, fluffy, and cozy. They can go to MJHD.NET and have a bunch of flowers shoved up their ass for all I care. I write whatever I'm thinking with regards to the hoax and that is all.
MJHDC: Some claim your blog shows signs of racism and homophobia and that basically you are not a nice person. Why do you say some of the things you say?
Me: Once again it is merely my opinion. The calls about racism started when I began calling Souza and Mo Nazis. People took that the wrong way. It wasn't that the Dutch lesbians were white supremacists it was the way they were acting like fucking dictators. I could have quite easily called Souza Pol Pot; it is just Hitler, and the Nazis, are more universally known. As for me being homophobic - if people want to think it is alright for a guy to blow another guy or a woman to eat another woman's fish taco that is their opinion not mine. I just think it is disgusting.
MJHDC: So the treatment of Badkolo is because he is gay?
Me: Not entirely. The fact the faggot is going to burn in hell just adds fuel to the fire so to speak. He gets attacked for being part of the Nazi forum. Putting forum members down if their opinion is in disagreement with his or the Dutch lesbians. He comes in like forum security or some shit. It is like sending fucking Big Bird in to break up a riot. You just have to laugh at the stupidity of the whole situation.
MJHDC: I think some of the calls of racism are because of the Bin Laden post.
Me: So it is racist to poke fun at Bin Laden? He may be a Muslim but I didn't pick him because of that; I picked him because of his infamy and allegedly being the most wanted man in the world. He could of been a Christian, Buddhist, or some fucking cult leader for all I cared. The fact he is a Muslim doesn't mean shit. Some Muslims are fucktards but in the same breath every religion has a few fucktards. As an atheist it really makes no difference to me if he is praying to Allah, God, Buddha, or fucking Jim Jones.
MJHDC: As an atheist what is your opinion on the biblical connections to the hoax?
Me: Bullshit. Even if I wasn't an atheist I'd still think it smelled fishier than a whore's cunt. Seriously, I don't think the hoax is as complicated as it is being made out. All this fucking crap about Bible passages and numerology. Did Michael start planning this hoax ten years ago? If all biblical, numerical, and symbolism shit was anything more than pure coincidence it would have took ages to figure and plan it all. In my opinion Michael wanted out for a reason and got the fuck out of Dodge. Simple as that.
MJHDC: So you don't go along with the TS/TIAI posts then?
Me: You have to be fucking kidding me. Anyone can make anything fit a particular theory if they put time into it. But seriously none of it makes sense. There is no pattern to the calculations. On some dates you ignore the year, and then when it comes to calculating dates you add certain numbers and subtract others. For it to be a plausible idea it needs consistency; and that is just not there. June 25, 2009. Ignore the zeros and you have 6 25 29 which if you add the 2 and 5 you get 7. Then 9 subtract the 2 gives you another 7. So you have two 7's. So the June is off. So should Michael have waited until July to fake his death?
MJHDC: Some have said you give the hoax a bad name. Do you?
Me: Yes and no. If you read the blog then all the profanity would suggest I give the hoax a bad name. But at the same time if you read the blog, the actual meat of it, it is just an opinion. I don't try and speak for the hoax I just give my own opinon on things.
MJHDC: Why do you end each post with "Peace." when a lot of what you write is anger and hatred?
Me: Because I can. The anger and hatred is aimed at specific people and things; not everyone. We all hate something. Hell, Michael hated himself hated Mottola. The peace at the end of each post is merely there to mark the end of the post. I could have put 'Over and out.' but it is a blog not a fucking CB radio.
MJHDC: Where do you see the hoax going?
Me: Downhill very fast. I have been involved with the whole hoax investigation since early July 2009 and have watched it slowly deteriorate. Back in the beginning people wanted proof for every suggestion made. Now they will blindly follow any idea without questioning it. That is not to say there are no good 'hoax investigators' left it is merely that the investigating is slowly being drowned in a sea of bullshit. In the beginning if someone suggested there was a video of Michael Jackson alive everyone would have asked where is the video, who gave the video, and can the person prove it. Now, though, a claim like that is made and all the sheeple just agree with it without even questioning it. And when it is proven to be complete bullshit most don't bother to question the person and their intentions for such a lie. Add in all the dumbasses that think they talk to Michael Jackson on Twitter and Facebook and you have what appears to be a very bad joke instead of a hoax. If Michael Jackson faked his death, for whatever reason, he isnt going to risk being found by talking to some random fan on Twitter or Facebook. But if you believe he is I have some nails used in the alleged crucifixion of Jesus for sale.
MJHDC: Finally, will the bulldog ever return?
Me: Maybe. Who knows. I still have information pouring in. I don't gather all the information. People, who wish to remain anonymous, supply a lot of information too. Some wish to remain anonymous because they are members of certain forums, some just wish to pass on information without being named. You'd be surprised at how much backstabbing goes on - I even have people who are online friends with Souza and Mo giving information when they think something is wrong. So there is plenty of bite left in the dog just right now it is more fun to do a humorous look at the whole hoax and the people involved in it.


Cuss Count: Extreme

Legal Notice: I have never been officially certified insane; although this may indeed be evidence for such a case. This post is merely opinion. I could mention satire but then people would miss the reality that the hoax is being fucked over by bullshit artists and egomaniacs that think Michael's message is them ... Fucking tards.