After The Theory - The Darkside

Just like the Jack5ons show ... Previously ... On June 25, 2010 Michael announced his return. Souza shot Mo for no reason other than she could. Henda11 wrote an email to Souza and Mo so that he didn't look as dumb as he really is. Auntie Amy rallied the troops and started the rebirth of MJHD.

With Mo out of the picture Souza was able to pursue the true love that she lusted after. That true love was Auntie Amy. But as Souza thought lovingly about Amy she wondered about Bumkolo, he had gone from cheap Thai male sluts to sailors that he picked up at the docks; he needed someone more stable. Then like a drug induced theory it hit her; Henda was the ideal person for Bumkolo. Henda liked wrestling, so he would most likely like a greasy naked man on him, he liked fishing so he would have no problem guzzling down Bumkolo's hot fish yogurt.

But as she pondered on this considerable thought she remembered Michael had announced his return the night before. What the fuck could she do? How the fuck did Amy intend to bring MJHD back like a phoenix from the ashes when Michael was alive and well?

Souza got up off her fat ass and turned the TV on. She still had not found the TV remote control since Mo had used it as a sex toy. Michael was everywhere no matter which channel she turned to. Every single channel was showing the statement Michael gave to the media last night. She sat and watched as the statement replayed from the TV.

"I am back, no really I am back..." Souza never heard the end of the speech as the phone rang. She answered the phone, it was Amy; who sounded really excited:

Amy: Souza, I have it figured out. I know what we can do.
Souza: What? Do? When? Where? Umm is this Amy?
Amy: Yes it is. Now shut up and listen. I know how we can keep the forum going.
Souza: How? Michael is back, it is all over.
Souza: Ooh I love it when your forceful...
Amy: What?
Souza: Sorry, what are we going to do?
Amy: We are going to kidnap Michael and then the forum will get more traffic than Five's fat ass.
Souza: You can't be serious.
Amy: I am serious. And I have it all planned out.
Souza: How? Michael only announced his return a few hours ago.
Amy: Just listen you stupid bitch. We kidnap Michael and our forum gets 'exclusives' from him.
Souza: But there is no hoax in that.
Amy: For fucks sake there was no hoax in the dog autopsy but you printed that shit.
Souza: True, and some fell for it.
Amy: I'll call you when I need you.
Souza: I always need you, no make that want.
Amy: What? Oh forget it.

Meanwhile, at Bumkolo Mom's house, Bumkolo was surfing his usual gay porn, seeing if he recognized any of the men that were on his screen. The AOL message came up "You have male". It was an email form Souza:

Hey Kolo

Amy just called and she said something about kidnapping Michael. I don't know what to do. Oh and I was thinking maybe you should see if Henda is interested in you. He likes sweaty men and the taste of fish, so you two should hit it off.

There is a rumor going around that I shot Mo. Don't believe it. I have already been on MSN and told a few people that John Smith did it. LMAO. Have to love bringing that name up to cover our asses. I did do it but nobody needs to know that.


Bumkolo sat back, he hadn't thought of Henda in that way but now the idea had been planted he liked the idea. He thought about emailing Henda but he couldn't leave his gay porn long enough.

Then another email arrived, this time from Amy, Bumkolo wasn't going to read it but the subject read "Important - Kidnapping Michael".

G'day Kolo

I spoke with Souza and Plan C is a go. Get your ass to the JFK airport by 12:00 midday. Get Michael. As soon as you have him call me.


Bumkolo thought about it. The JFK airport was 2 hours away, and it was only 9:00AM, so he had time to surf a little more gay porn. Some guy caught his eye, he kind of looked like Henda, so he reached for the jar of Vaseline. Damn it was empty. He'd have to make do with his Mom's arthritis cream.

Meanwhile in Australia Amy was looking around her home office. It was a little scary being there alone. Her husband had left her a couple of months ago. But as she sat there she looked at the thousands of pictures she had printed and put on the wall. They were all Souza.



Anonymous said...

LMFAO! Oh man... I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard! You're too funny, Conspiracy!

"You have male" - LOOOOOOOOOL! This one cracked me up. There's so many funny bits... xD

I'm loving this story, it's like a (funnier) Dan Brown novel, heehee! Can't wait for Part 3!

Angie The F 777 said...

Do u realize ur making them famous? LMAO

anonymous 3 said...

I've put my Dan Brown's and Stephen King's aside and am eagerly awaiting the next part..LOOOOL
When is the paperback going to be published?...oh boy, you got talent...hahaha
I want your autograph....rofl

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