You Suck At Photoshop

Well, actually, according to Donnie Hoyle who presents the series everyone except him sucks at Photoshop. You Suck At Photoshop is a series of 20 videos, available on Youtube, which aims to teach various aspects of Photoshop.

What makes the series of videos, unique and, stand out from the millions of Photoshop tutorials available on Youtube? The way it is presented.

The 20 part series introduces Donnie Hoyle who uses Photoshop to to tell you all about his life as it happens. Part 1 starts with the fact that the wife of Donny Hoyle has been cheating on him. So he Photoshops a copy of his marriage certificate on the window of the van that his wife is using as a makeshift 'passion wagon'.

The series then follows Danny Hoyle as he goes through the break-up of his marriage, he finds out the his child is not his, the police raid his home, he finds a new love on the Internet, and eventually gets killed.

Each part of the series teaches a certain aspect of Photoshop. No other series will show you how to Photoshop an unwanted cat; and eventually stuff it in a plastic bag (and if you think that sounds really bad you will have to watch to see that it is not really that mean).

The comedy throughout the whole series will mean you may have to watch parts over and over to actually learn the Photoshop skills presented because quite often laughing too much means you'll forget. Remaining concentrated on Photoshop while 'Snatch Buckler' interrupts on Skype is pretty hard to do.

You Suck At Photoshop almost defies description; and it is better to just watch the series. And if you don't care about Photoshop watch it purely for the comedy factor.

Incidentally, anyone who arrived here hoping for in-depth Photoshop knowledge; fear not. The following four links will guide you to some of the best Photoshop tutorials on the Internet.

GavTrain - Gavin Hoey teaches Photoshop and photography. Clear, precise, interesting, and very knowledgeable.

Tip Squirrel - More Photoshop tutorials and advice than you can shake a stick at. Joined by a whole host of Photoshop gurus (including Gavin Hoey, Glyn Dewis, and Janine Smith).

Official PSDs - Thousands of PSD files for your own Photoshop compositions, tutorials, and a forum where all things Photoshop are discussed.

PSD Tuts+ - Many, many, quality Photoshop tutorials.


Cuss Count: Zero

Legal Notice: Hoax News Network is not affiliated with any agency; news or otherwise. All links to external material are presented as is; with no warranty or guarantee implied.


Homeless Dave For President

With the announcement, last night, from Homeless Dave that he intends to start a presidential campaign; the media, celebrities, and the news are already reacting.

Michelle Obama shocked her husband, and the world, when she said at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner: "Homeless Dave. Hell yeah. I would vote for him just so Barack has some free time to help around the house; and with the kids. Go Homeless Dave you have my vote!"

Alex Jones, of InfoWars, said: "As long as he has a full length birth certificate I don't give a damn. It is a conspiracy. The founding fathers were the Illuminati. I wish Homeless Dave all the best; but it is never going to happen. I'll be surprised if the CIA or FBI don't take him out before the day. The New World Order will not allow their plans to be disrupted."

Sarah Palin, possible Republic hopeful, said: "Homeless who? Can homeless people run for being President?"

Joe Jackson, father of the Jackson 5, said: "Homeless Dave is running for President? Good. Get that bum out of the White House and replace him with a real bum. Obama said he would hook me up once he was elected - damn cracker didn't hook up shit. Get him out of there and let me make some money. I am sure Homeless Dave will be needing a Secretary Of Fashion."

Although it has not been discussed, or announced, who will be running for Vice-President with Homeless Dave; political pundits are already making predictions.

Glenn Beck, of Fox News, stated: "It has to be Karl; he had the laptop originally. Pete is his best friend but has he made the right deals to become Vice-President material? I'm saying Karl just because of the laptop deal; Dave is not going to forget that."

Larry King, of CNN, said: "You know I have known Homeless Dave before he was homeless. He's a great guy and I'm sure he'll stand by his friend Pete. Laptops and the like will not sway him."

Homeless Dave, himself, is taking it all in his stride: "Originally it was a scam to get a free house. But I thought about it; and who knows better what the average person on the street wants? Nobody. I am on the streets 24/7. I know what concerns people have. I'm ideal for President. I'm not sitting in some ivory tower like Donald Trump. And, I have not forgotten my roots like President Obama."

With regards to his Vice President choice Dave had this to say: "It could be either Pete or Karl. Some have suggested Sheila but she has more skeletons in her past than the whole Osmond family. If I had a coin I'd flip it. At the present I am working on a slogan for my campaign. I have narrowed it down to 4 choices:

Homeless Dave - Stealing The White House.
Homeless Dave - Homeless No More.
Vote Homeless Dave - He's Cheap.
Homeless Dave - The Cheaper Asshole.

I'm not really sure which one to go with as of yet."

So the mainstream media may not keep you up to date with Homeless Dave's Presidential run but Hoax News Network will report, periodically, until Dave is in the White House.


Cuss Count: One (Thanks Joe)

Legal Notice: Any person mentioned in this post did not take part; it is merely satire. No retards were harmed in the production of this post although it is guaranteed a yawning one will read it. HNN is not affiliated with any agency news or otherwise. No sponsorship marred the reporting in this post.