Calculating The Hoax

In a recent article, in Popular Science, world famous scientist, and all-round brainy person, Stephen Hawking revealed the exact mathematical formula for the Michael Jackson hoax.

Speaking from his Oxfordshire home Stephen Hawking explained the entire formula; and process:

"It was really quite simple once I started on the actual figures. I had been looking at the various TS/TIAI posts concerning numerology already. But when the $999 challenge was issued, by TS, I looked into it a bit more."

Controversy surrounding the TS/Souza link has not deterred Stephen Hawking:

"While looking at the TS/TIAI posts I noticed a really major flaw. No matter what the figures can be calculated in a certain way to equal almost anything. In conclusion the whole thing is crap. As with anything it should be broken down in stages and not just reduced to single digit calculations straight away."

The calculation of the date of the start of the hoax is the first thing Stephen Hawking has an issue with:

"Basically you have three figures to start with and in traditional date calculation these would all be added together. 06 + 25 + 2009; which gives 2040. But TS makes the mistake of thinking 2040 is significant; it isn't it is just a number. It is only part of the calculation; it has no meaning on it's own. You need to go to the next level 20 + 40 = 60 and then the final calculation is merely 6 + 0 = 6."

Stephen Hawking continued:

"So although it may appear that 2040 is important because it appears on a spaceship in the HIStory tour it is to all intent and purpose just a number and any connection is merely coincidence."

With regards to debunking the whole TS theory and claiming the $999 reward; Stephen Hawking said:

"There is no need to debunk the theory and calculations. They do not stand up to any form of mathematical integrity. If the theory had any basis at all then all the calculations would be uniform. You cannot use 2 + 5 = 25 in one calculation and then in another calculation use 2 + 5 = 7 just to match the theory. The same goes for using the year in some calculations and omitting it in others; all dates must be calculated exactly the same for any theory to have a solid basis of plausibility."

Stephen Hawking applied his theory to some of the dates connected with the Michael Jackson hoax to prove that in actuality they mean nothing.

The Hoax Death
06 + 25 + 2009 = 2040 = 20 + 40 = 60 = 6 + 0 = 6

The Memorial
07 + 07 + 2009 = 2023 = 20 + 23 = 43 = 4 + 3 = 7

The Burial
09 + 03 + 2009 = 2021 = 20 + 21 = 41 = 4 + 1 = 5

Michael's Birth Date
08 + 29 + 1958 = 1995 = 19 + 95 = 114 = 11 + 4 = 15 (1 + 5 = 6)

Conrad Murray Preliminary Hearing Date
08 + 23 + 2009 = 2040 = 20 + 40 = 60 = 6 + 0 = 6

"Using any number of calculations will always result in a single digit. As with all theories and calculations there is always a flaw. Using the calculation will always bring you to a single digit. Every date calculation, as long as the number of calculations is ignored, will result in a number ranging from 1 to 9. Using this calculation it is impossible to ever reach absolute zero. So even though I am Stephen Hawking even my calculation is flawed."

M.I.T student, Tekken Yoshimitsu, confirmed the findings in a recent paper entitled 'TS And The Smell Of Cow Manure' where he confirmed that any equation which is unable to use the full spectrum of numerical digits must be, by the laws of mathematical science, flawed to an unknown extent which would be represented by the constant of X.

In his paper he stated:

"All dates will give you a number between 1 and 9. Whether it is 01-01-01 or 06-06-06 it is impossible to reach zero. And with all single digits the number, by coincidence, can be said to represent a certain aspect of any event. For example, the World Trade Center disaster happened on 09 11 2001 which using the equation, 09 + 11 + 2001 = 2021 = 20 + 21 = 41 = 4 + 1 = 5, gives the single digit of 5. This could, in theory, be said to represent the five sides of the Pentagon building which was also attacked."

Although TS was unavailable for comment Souza did email this statement:

"Stephen Hawking is in a wheelchair. I stand 100% that I made. I mean that TS made. I know certain people, Mo, don't agree with it but that is tough. A forum needs only one administrator, and person, as a figurehead not two. If she doesn't agree with me, I mean TS, then she will fall like the rest who stand in my way. I require absolute obedience. As for this Tekken Yoshimitsu; he comes from a country that openly admits to eating dogs. You want to take his word over mine; I mean TS?"

So whether Souza is TS or not; whether the whole Souza/Mo dispute is nothing more than a scripted play it would seem that the scientific community are totally against the whole TS/TIAI theory. Sometimes it is better to look at things from a neutral perspective.


Cuss Count: None

Legal Notice: None of the persons named really made statements. This post although satire does highlight the numerology flaws. And by the way 12 + 12 + 2010 = 2034 = 20 + 34 = 54 = 5 + 4 = 9 which means absolutely nothing at all although in numerology circles 9 is the most humanitarian of them all; which could be a clue but most likely is not.


Anonymous said...

he??! where did you get this science-fiction from?
Can't imagine S.Hawking getting involved in an internet game of a whoever blogger.

Come on, I want to see the official link of Hawking saying that.

The whole Hawking thing is a hoax :-.)

Anonymous said...

Come on total set up..."I am for reopening the threads"...."I am for locking the threads"..Give me a break! They have been screwing with people since the original days of MJHD. They aren't getting the attention they need so they need to stir up a little drama. I also think that those who are all like "oh, I hope this doesn't break us up" and "Love blah blah blah" are part of this game too. Even Puff's little tift with Souza is probably a set up. Open your eyes people...or sheeple!!!

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