1/29/2010

The Plot Thickens More Than Grandma's Gravy

Previously ... Henda proved his stupidity and was killed by Amy. Souza admitted her love to Amy; and flew off to Brisbane.

As the airplane landed Souza could already smell the Kangaroo shit. The airport was full of people and Souza still felt like she was being watched. As she picked her bag off the carousel she wondered who was watching her. Was it the FBI? Was it Interpol? Was it Amy? She puckered up her lips and blew a kiss into the air just in case it was Amy.

As she went outside to get a taxi her cell phone rang.

Souza: Hello.
Amy: Hey it is Amy.
Souza: Are you at the airport?
Amy: No, just get your ass over here.
Souza: I'm now getting in a taxi.
Amy: I'll throw another shrimp or two on the barbie then.

Before Souza had a chance to reply the phone was silent. The taxi ride to Amy's house was uneventful. She knocked on the door. The door opened, there stood Amy. Souza could not contain her excitement, she dropped her luggage, and threw her arms around Amy. As she went to kiss her on the lips Amy stepped back and said "Whoa there. Slow it down." Souza composed herself and started digging through her luggage for the gift she had brought for Amy. She turned around and handed Amy an Edam cheese with a neon pink g-string on it. Amy said "Thanks."

As they walked through the house Amy placed the cheese on a small desk and promised herself to throw it out later. Once in the garden, Amy sat with Souza at the patio table. Souza couldn't control her emotions - a mixture of excitement, fear, and sadness.

Souza: Amy I think someone is watching me.
Amy: You are just paranoid. Who do you think is watching you?
Souza: I don't know I just have this feeling.
Amy: You are worrying about nothing.
Souza: What about all the murders? What about Mo, Kolo, and Henda?
Amy: Relax. Nobody knows. Here, have a beer.
Souza: What about Michael?
Amy: Don't mention him. Just relax. Everything will be alright.
Souza: I'm glad I have you.
Amy: Yeah. I would be too.

The two sat at the table chatting about the 'good old days' and how they had concocted various outlandish theories and drama to keep everyone interested in the forums and clicking the adverts and paypal button of the old MJHD. Amy was telling Souza what she had purchased with the money when Souza's phone rang. Souza answered the phone, but there was nobody there.

Amy said that Souza looked tired and once they had eaten she should rest and try and get a little sleep.

They ate. Amy showed Souza to the guest room, and apologized for the stacks of diapers; but explained they were an offer she just couldn't refuse. Souza looked around the room there must have been at least five thousand diapers. She thought how the members of MJHD would feel to know where their donations went.

Amy was about to leave the room when Souza said "Do you mind if I take a shower? I had a quick knuckle shuffle on the airplane and really need to clean up." Amy said "Sure." As Amy left she didn't hear Souza say "I love you."

Souza was in the shower, when she heard the door. She smiled to herself. Maybe Amy had taken the g-string off that Edam and was going to come and wash her back. She stood in the shower, shivering, waiting for the curtain to be pulled back.

Suddenly the curtain was pulled back. There stood Mo in nothing but a diaper. Souza stood motionless in shock. Mo smiled. Souza started to cry. Mo stepped into the shower. Souza wrapped her arms around Mo. Mo pushed her back.

Souza: How are you here? How are you alive? I killed you.
Mo: No you didn't. The bullet missed any vital organs I just went in to shock.
Souza: I'm so glad you are alive. I don't know what I was thinking.
Mo: It doesn't matter. I forgive you.

Mo leaned forward again, Souza wrapped her arms around Mo. Mo reached behind Souza and took the shower head and started to wrap the shower hose around Souza's neck. As she pulled it tight Souza started to panic. She screamed "Noooo." Mo pulled tighter and tighter until Souza's body went limp. She released the shower hose and watched Souza's body slump in the tub. She looked down at Souza and spat. "Don't fucking shoot me!"

As Mo stepped out of the shower, laughing, Amy met her and kissed her.

Mo: It was fun to watch her die.
Amy: At least that disgusting distraction is out of the way.
Mo: Good. Now back to business.
Amy: It will all be completed soon.

The pair left the bathroom and made their way to the master bedroom.

Peace.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Prawn not Shrimp...Aussies dont even use the word Shrimp...Plus i dont think Amy would bother spending the big money on Prawns for Souza shes not worth it, unless they had been in the sun for a few days first to give that poisoning effect!!

Reflection said...

Have you got all this written out already or do you make it up as you go along? Well, I don't hold a grudge against any of the characters in your story and I wouldn't want any of them to get hurt in real-life (I have never been involved in any of the MJHD-related fights that broke out after June 25th, 2009) but some parts of your story are really funny. Overall it's very entertaining.

Anonymous said...

over on the SMOUZA forum this morning, somebody posted a fun thread "where is michael jackson?" a few joined in with funny opinions, and there all of a sudden MO came on and the atmosphere turned icy, she said "who gives a rats ass?" needless to say plenty of the members went into shock :) and then of course the usual brown-nose members stuck up for MO..
i'm guessing that a few more members will be banned!!! and the brown-noses will get a pat on the head and an extra helping of shit to feed on!! rumors have it that TIAI is none other than SMOUZA themselves....

your posts are hilarious, keep 'em coming!!

Anonymous said...

snerk...snicker...LOL....BWAHAHAHAHA!!
*pounding fist on desk*

This has the potential to be better than Fringe, dog! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Oh noez!!! Souza was my favourite character!!

Anonymous said...

Conspiracy said: "Souza looked around the room there must have been at least five thousand diapers. She thought how the members of MJHD would feel to know where their donations went."

LMAO! Wouldn't it be fucking hilarious if this was true? I read on the Auntie Amy's fetish site that she wears diapers all the time, so she really must need thousands of them, LOL.

Poor Souza... killed by the woman she loves... Tsk tsk tsk. At least one of the Dutchies is back, Hehehe! Now THAT is a surprising turn of events, LOL.

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