Welcome Starving Marvin

With the departure of the Homeless wonder known as Dave it was necessary to keep the Unholy Trinity in balance; and recruit a third person. That person is Marvin 'Starving' Jackson a homeless person from Detroit. The reason another homeless person was chosen was to maintain a 'charitable' tax-exempt status.

Marvin is not a volunteer and will receive a weekly salary of $2. He originally wanted $5 a week but negotiations reached the figure mentioned.

Marvin can be found on Twitter as @MarvinStarving.

I took some time to talk to Marvin as the newest member of The Unholy Trinity.

MJHDC: So Marvin what do you want to say to introduce yourself?
Marvin: Holla nigga. I am officially up in this shit. That $2 is cash right?
MJHDC: Yeah.
Marvin: What about health benefits?
MJHDC: None.
Marvin: No worries I just get myself down the VA hospital. About the only thing a nigga gets for fighting on behalf of his country. Man, I saw shit that would make your eyes fall out and your ass explode with fear.
MJHDC: Which war was you in?
Marvin: I was in 'Nam. I'm still there some days. Never forget some of that shit. I saw bodies piled 5 high being used as sand bags. You don't forget that shit. And we got home all the people fucking looking at us like we were shit because the hippies said there should be no war. I fucking fought for my country. Here count my fingers.
Marvin: Left the other one in 'Nam. Fucking Viet Cong took it trying to get information. I didn't say shit. Then my unit stormed that place. Dead Charlies everywhere.
MJHDC: Have you been following the Conrad Murray trial at all?
Marvin: Hell no, media going to try to hang a nigga whether they got shit on him or not. If Conrad Murray was white he'd of got a pat on the back and a fucking medal from that turncoat president. Vote for me I am black when I get in the Whitehouse I'll turn my back. Fucker hasn't done shit for the hood. Steps in the hood and no matter how many guards he has he'll be another statistic.
MJHDC: But Conrad is accused of killing Michael Jackson.
Marvin: Hell that was one fucked up dude. I didn't get why he wanted to be white.
MJHDC: That was a disease. Vitiligo.
Marvin: I'd rather have a few white patches than be all white. No offense it isn't your fault. You was born that way.
MJHDC: Umm. Moving on. Have you seen any of the trial?
Marvin: I caught that Ed Chernoff guy talking. If he was my attorney I'd be putting 9mm of cold steel in my mouth and saying goodbye to the world. He was all stammering and shit. I would bet my food stamps that he only got to be an attorney by sucking a real attorney off. I've heard better sentences coming from the Special Needs spelling bee competition. Now that white haired guy looks like a smart cookie. If you got to choose one of them to stand up for you I would of picked that fucker. You know him and the judge play golf together at their exclusive 'white people' only country club. Conrad has got to man up and tell that Chernoff to sit the fuck down.
MJHDC: So you haven't really kept up with the trial?
Marvin: They are going to do the same to Conrad as they did to OJ. And if Arnie Klein isn't found guilty it will be the LA riots all over again.
MJHDC: What exactly are you bringing to the Unholy Trinity?
Marvin: Experience. And you and Hoax News will be able to walk in the ghetto with getting your lily white asses shot. I remember this line from Lench Mob: "White boys white boys love hip-hop. Come to the ghetto and they get shot." Trust me it is no different here in Detroit. You walk your white ass down the wrong street you going out in a body bag. Just the way it is man.
MJHDC: Thanks I think.
Marvin: And I am a personal friend of Joe Jackson.
MJHDC: You know Joe Jackson?
Marvin: That is what I said are you deaf? When I say friend what I mean is that I know this guy who owned a Buick. Well it turns out that at one point Joe Jackson thought about buying it. He didn't but he nearly did. Makes us family almost.
MJHDC: Well you are a Jackson.
Marvin: No relation whatsoever.
MJHDC: Well what would you like to say as way of an introduction?
Marvin: Bitches and pimps I'm all up in this shit. You don't like me fuck off. I sure as hell am not being paid to be nice to you fucking people.
MJHDC: (laughing) You should get paid per cuss word.
Marvin: Hell no. It is only when I'm drinking I cuss.
MJHDC: I see. Any parting words?
Marvin: See you fuckers on the flipside. Peace. I'm outtie.


Get A Federal Business Name

Federal Reserve

Back in 1913 the Federal Reserve System was introduced thanks to the Federal Reserve Act. Its duties today, according to official Federal Reserve documentation, are to conduct the nation's monetary policy, supervise and regulate banking institutions, maintain the stability of the financial system and provide financial services to depository institutions, the U.S. government, and foreign official institutions.

But the Federal Reserve is not part of the Government. The Federal Reserve System's structure is composed of the presidentially appointed Board of Governors (or Federal Reserve Board), the Federal Open Market Committee (FOMC), twelve regional Federal Reserve Banks located in major cities throughout the nation, numerous privately owned U.S. member banks and various advisory councils. The FOMC is the committee responsible for setting monetary policy and consists of all seven members of the Board of Governors and the twelve regional bank presidents, though only five bank presidents vote at any given time. The Federal Reserve System has both private and public components, and was designed to serve the interests of both the general public and private bankers.

Federal Express (FedEx)

Originally called FDX Corp., FedEx Corp. was formed in January 1998 with the acquisition of Caliber System Inc. Through this and future purchases, FedEx sought to build on the strength of its famous express delivery service and create a more diversified company that included a portfolio of different but related businesses. Caliber subsidiaries included RPS, a small-package ground service; Roberts Express, an expedited, exclusive-use shipping provider; Viking Freight, a regional, less-than-truckload (LTL) freight carrier serving the Western U.S.; Caribbean Transportation Services, a provider of airfreight forwarding between the U.S., Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic and the Caribbean Islands; and Caliber Logistics and Caliber Technology, providers of integrated logistics and technology solutions. These companies, along with worldwide express shipping provider Federal Express, composed the original FDX Corp. 

Over the next two years FDX Corp. oversaw the assimilation of these companies and introduced them to many trademark service and technology enhancements.

In January 2000, FedEx unleashed the power of its global brand. In a move to further integrate the company's portfolio of services, FDX Corp. was renamed FedEx Corporation. In addition, Federal Express became FedEx Express, RPS became FedEx Ground, Roberts Express became FedEx Custom Critical, and Caliber Logistics and Caliber Technology were combined to make up FedEx Global Logistics. To centralize the sales, marketing, customer service and information technology support for FedEx Express and FedEx Ground, a new subsidiary named FedEx Corporate Services (FedEx Services) was formed and began operations in June 2000.

Federal Express was so-named due to the patriotic meaning associated with the word "Federal," which suggested an interest in nationwide economic activity. At that time, Smith hoped to obtain a contract with the Federal Reserve Bank and, although the proposal was denied, he believed the name was a particularly good one for attracting public attention and maintaining name recognition.

Two companies using the moniker "Federal" yet not belonging to the U.S. government. So is the FBI (Federal Bureau of Investigations) a private company? Of course not.


The FBI originated from a force of special agents created in 1908 by Attorney General Charles Bonaparte during the presidency of Theodore Roosevelt. The two men first met when they both spoke at a meeting of the Baltimore Civil Service Reform Association. Roosevelt, then Civil Service commissioner, boasted of his reforms in federal law enforcement. It was 1892, a time when law enforcement was often political rather than professional. Roosevelt spoke with pride of his insistence that Border Patrol applicants pass marksmanship tests, with the most accurate getting the jobs. Following Roosevelt on the program, Bonaparte countered, tongue in cheek, that target shooting was not the way to get the best men. "Roosevelt should have had the men shoot at each other and given the jobs to the survivors."

So, how does the Federal Reserve and Federal Express get away with using a company name that obviously should be restricted to government usage only? Well, maybe it should be but it isn't.

A quick search of trademarks on the United States Patent & Trademark Office (USPTO) website reveals 2,214 records using the term "Federal". On the first page of results is Federal Coffee. Federal Coffee supposedly sell the nation's strongest coffee; and if you want to ask them you can find them on Twitter under the username @FederalCoffee surprisingly enough. Are they affiliated with the U.S. government in any way? No. The Federal Coffee trademark is owned by Federal Coffee Incorporated. There is also one called You Don't Know Me Federal Witness Program; which turns out to be owned by Cotton City Incorporated and is merely the design of a T-shirt which they trademarked. Incidentally Cotton City Inc. is owned by Ace Incorporated.

It would thus appear that anyone can use the word 'Federal' in their business name. But is it that easy? Yes and no.

The dictionary defines the word 'federal' as:

1. Of, relating to, or being a form of government in which a union of states recognizes the sovereignty of a central authority while retaining certain residual powers of government.
2. Of or constituting a form of government in which sovereign power is divided between a central authority and a number of constituent political units.
3. Of or relating to the central government of a federation as distinct from the governments of its member units.
4. Favorable to or advocating federation: The senator's federal leanings were well known.
5. Relating to or formed by a treaty or compact between constituent political units.
6. Federal
a. Of, relating to, or supporting Federalism or the Federalist Party.
b. Of, relating to, or loyal to the Union cause during the American Civil War.
7. often Federal Of, relating to, or being the central government of the United States.
8. Federal Relating to or characteristic of a style of architecture, furniture, and decoration produced in the United States especially in the late 18th and early 19th centuries and characterized by adaptations of classical forms combined with typically American motifs.

1. Federal
a. A supporter of the Union during the American Civil War, especially a Union soldier.
b. A Federalist.
2. often Federal A federal agent or official.

But if you head down the page 'Federal' is also defined as: 

1. federal - national; especially in reference to the government of the United States as distinct from that of its member units; "the Federal Bureau of Investigation"; "federal courts"; "the federal highway program"; "federal property.

So in layman terms Federal = National. So any company in the U.S., that is a national company, could in theory use the term Federal. And it is being allowed by the U.S. Patent & Trademark office unless the government own Federal Coffee and just don't want to admit it. So as long as you are based in the U.S., and your product is national, you can use the term 'Federal' in your business name without worrying the FBI are going to come banging on your door and arrest you.

Maybe in a few years we will see other people take up the term 'Federal' in their business names. Who knows this time next month there may be a Federal Charles Manson Fan Club or a Federal Joke Shop doing business.

Note: This is in no way any form of legal advice. If you intend to attempt to use the term 'Federal' or 'Fed' in a business name it would be advisable to seek legal advice, and representation, before doing so. Also in no way is Federal Express, Federal Reserve, Federal Coffee related to each other in business; or any other way.


Mankind Versus Conrad Murray

The entire U.S. nation was united in outrage as the Supreme Court denied Troy Davis a stay of execution. As the decision was announced Twitter and Facebook went crazy with the same outrage.

I have taken no time to look in to the Troy Davis case and so will not comment on guilt, or lack of it, other than to say that if there is even the smallest of doubt then an execution should not take place. You just cannot reverse an execution if later evidence proves a persons innocence.

But it did get me thinking about the Michael Jackson fans (believers and non-believers) on Twitter who were rallying in support of Troy Davis. It wasn't a good feeling it was kind of a 'I want to reach through the screen and strangle you hypocritical fuckers' feeling.

Back in 2005 every Michael Jackson fan would practically kill anyone who even suggested that he was guilty of the charges he was acquitted of. But these same fans will stand up for Troy Davis because of what they have heard; yet they want to see Conrad Murray either rot in hell or prison.

Is it fair for the same fans that were shouting "Justice for Michael" in 2005 and are now shouting "Justice 4 MJ" to be ready to become judge, jury, and executioner for Conrad Murray?

I must have missed the police statement that went something like this:

Detective Donald Nutkins said outside 100 North Carolwood Drive this morning: "We have a pretty open and shut case. Luckily for the investigation team there was hundreds of Michael Jackson fans sitting around in the bedroom, and other rooms, that saw everything that went on. I'll be surprised if Conrad Murray is not doing life for this heinous crime."

Oh that is right. I didn't miss that statement because it never happened.

I'm not defending Conrad Murray in any way, shape, or form I just feel that he should be given his opportunity in a court of law. That is not to say the justice system is 100% correct, and yes it makes mistakes, but that is what we have to live with.

A lot of messed up shit happened in North Carolwood Drive. And from what has been reported only half of it may be true and the rest complete bullshit. I don't know because I was not there. Only two people know for sure what happened on the morning of June 25, 2009 at 100 North Carolwood Drive and neither one of them is saying much.

(Like an adventure book you get to choose your own path now. Read which section you feel fits you better.)

Believers read this bit: Conrad Murray is sticking with the story he is meant to stick to. He knows exactly what happened and although a million and one clues were left he has to play his part to the very end. Michael may very well clear Conrad's name in the near future.

Non-believers read this bit: Conrad Murray isn't saying what is going on because he is charged with the death of Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson isn't saying anything because in one way or another he unfortunately died.

(Everyone can read the last bit.)

We may never know the full facts of what happened at the home of Michael Jackson on the morning of June 25, 2009. But should we fall into the trap of judging a person because of what has been said in the media much like what was done to Michael Jackson back in 2005?

And while we are on the subject of hypocrisy now might be a good time to mention the religious people that have already condemned Conrad Murray. As one of the Unholy Trinity I don't actually believe this; but here is a couple of quotes from your Bible:

"So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." (John 8:7 KJV)

"Judge not, that ye be not judged." (Matthew 7:1 KJV)

So all the religious people can get off their high horses if they have condemned Conrad Murray already. Unless they want to admit they only pick and choose the bits from the Bible that fit with their life choices.


Halloween Cosplay

According to Wikipedia Cosplay is defined as:

Cosplay, short for "costume play", is a type of performance art in which participants don costumes and accessories to represent a specific character or idea. Characters are often drawn from popular fiction in Japan, but recent trends have included American cartoons and Sci-Fi. Favourite sources include manga, anime, comic books, graphic novels, video games, hentai and fantasy movies. Any entity from the real or virtual world that lends itself to dramatic interpretation may be taken up as a subject. Inanimate objects are given anthropomorphic forms and it is not unusual to see genders switched, with women playing male roles and vice versa.

With Halloween fast approaching now is the time that adults attending parties start thinking about costumes to wear. So why go in one of the played out costumes that has been seen a million times before when you can wow family, friends, neighbors, and anyone else that sees you dressed in a somewhat more unique costume.

But where to start? According to Wikipedia you can use, amongst other things, comics and video games as inspiration.

Not feeling totally creative? Get creative with a few ideas from around the world wide web.

Eat magic mushrooms and pretend you are reliving the eighties. Go as Mario; from Super Mario Brothers:

Some overalls, a red shirt, white gloves, and a fake moustache and you too could be leaving the party with your own Princess Peach. Just be aware that should any plumbing problems occur you will be asked to just 'take a look'.

Get yourself down the barber and ask for one of those nice eighties flat-tops. You are now ready to to be Guile from Street Fighter:

As can be seen from the photo natural hair colored, and styled, correctly will beat a wig anytime. The costume is easy. Army green wife-beater, camouflage pants, black boots and a set of dog tags. Support the troops while enjoying Halloween. Having a friend dress as M. Bison, also from Street Fighter, is optional but you could do a few rounds of fighting if the party really sucks.

Not a Street Fighter fan? Always thought that Mortal Kombat kicked Street Fighter's ass? No worries:

Get over here and go as Scorpion from the superior Mortal Kombat game. Find a black ninja suit, add a motocross face mask, strap some shin pads to your arms (as seen in the photo), and a yellow tabbard and you can be the hellish belle of the ball. Once again having a friend dressed as Sub-Zero is optional. If getting to the party on public transport it may not be wise to carry Scorpion's signature short spear attached to rope.

Not in to video games? Well there is always comic books as inspiration. Spiderman Spiderman does whatever a spider can and this Halloween you can do whatever a spider does too.

Spiderman costumes are not just for little boys - big boys can wear them too. Get a costume from Walmart and you are set. Any Green Goblins at the party take them out with your new found web-slinging abilities. And if you want to make the costume look for a red/blue full-body spandex suit - available at all good sports shops. Using a permanent marker draw a big spider on the front (if you want to technical you could use one of those silver markers and do the webbing too). Buy a Spiderman mask and you are all set to wow Mary Jane (Please note I said "wow" Mary Jane not "smoke" Mary Jane).

Every man at Halloween wants to revert back to being a little boy; even if it is just for one night. So forget Spiderman, Superman, and the Incredible Hulk and go as Edward Elric; The Full Metal Alchemist:

The above photo does not do young Edward justice. No blond hair and I don't ever remember seeing the alchemist wearing glasses. But the over all effect is there. Black pants, black shirt, red long jacket, and a pair of white gloves. That is it - you are good to go. But before you head out to try and create a philosopher's stone you may want to put the Full Metal Alchemist logo on the back of the jacket. As another side note when looking for pictures of people wearing Edward Elric costumes the vast amount were actually female. A quick discussion at Cosplay says this is due to Edward Elric having a long ponytail. So if you are a woman and want to dress as a man Edward Elric is right up your street.

Ladies don't be thinking you cannot join in on the Halloween cosplay fun because you are well catered for in the cartoon/comic book cosplay world:

Lara Croft - now you can attend Halloween party looking exactly like Angelina Jolie. Possibly one of the easiest costumes going. A light blue tank top, some brown shorts, a pair of boots, and a couple of handguns. That s it - you are good to go. Plastic toy handguns can be used; but the real deal will come in handy when your ass gets that unwanted pinch. As an added bonus the 'Lara Croft' covers all 3 genres - Comic, Video Game, and Movie.

Back to Mortal Kombat; and more importantly Kitana:

Another easy costume. matching light blue bodice, undies, loin cloth, and leggings. A couple of fans with tin foil blades and a pair of boots and you are ready to kick Halloween in to the Netherealm. And for next year die it all pink and be the 'classic' Mileena from Mortal Kombat.

OK Guys if you really want to be Kitana it would appear you can be:

Not that I'm recommending it in any way but it is an option.

But let us not forget that sometimes the retro look is just what you want:

Go go Power Rangers.

But if you really want to stand out in a crowd go as me, Homeless Dave, and wow all your friends as you spend the entire party explaining who I am. And what an easy costume too. Blue jeans and a black jacket. You can pick any shirt you want, and any shoes you want, because nobody knows what they really look like.


Disturbing Music Videos


Some music videos stand out because they are monumental on their own merit such as Michael Jackson's Thriller; which made a massive impact on December 2, 1983 because it was 13 minutes long and the budget was $1,000,000.

But some music videos make an impact because they are purely disturbing; whether graphically or on a more subconscious level. This 'top ten' list is by no means the definitive list of weird music videos; but it does highlight the very genre of disturbing music videos. Some may say that some are even tasteless.

10. South Central - Day I Die

The video, directed by Steve Glashier, sees the duo known as South Central walking through a parking lot. As they walk through, like some weird version of grim reapers, people all around them are being shot. The video is shown through the eyes of a sniper shooting the people, actually it is shown through the crosshairs of the scope of the sniper.

Blood Factor: 7/10

09. Twizted - Hahahahahaha

Twiztid, the duo of Jamie Madrox and Monoxide Child, part of the juggalo family have never shied away from the dark side of hip-hop; and a few of their videos could have made the list. Hahahahahaha opens with Monoxide dressing ready to go preach the good word. But once people let him in their house he kills them. Then it goes to Madrox  who is killing people who turn up at his house. At the end Monoxide knocks at Madrox's door and that is where the video ends. The actual track comes from the 2009 album W.I.C.K.E.D. (Wish I Could Kill Every Day)

Blood Factor: 9/10

08. Metallica - One

The obligatory heavy metal band shots spliced with scenes from the 1971 film "Johnny Got His Gun". Not that scary on the surface of it all; but the story beneath is. The song's theme and lyrics are based on Dalton Trumbo's 1939 novel Johnny Got His Gun, telling the tale of a soldier whose body is severely damaged by a mortar shell. His arms, legs, eyes, mouth, nose and ears are gone and he is unable to see, speak, smell, or hear. His mind functions perfectly, however, leaving him trapped inside his own body.

Blood Factor: 1/10

07. Insane Clown Posse - The Tower

Insane Clown Posse, also known as Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, part of the juggalo family released The Tower in 2007. The video sees Violent J, as an ex war veteran climb a tower of a building and start shooting at people with a sniper rifle. Shaggy 2 Dope also appears in the video as part of the SWAT team that go up the tower.  The video itself is ICP with certain sections from the infamous 1966 'tower massacre' in Austin, Texas by Charles Whitman.

Blood Factor: 4/10

06. Mushroomhead - Sun Doesn't Rise

I don't know where to start. A living scarecrow is torn to pieces and then some little girl puts him back together; and he goes for revenge by killing the crows. No blood in it at all but weird as hell.

Blood Factor: 0/10

05. Boondox - Inbred Evil

Yet another juggalo. Thinking the label "Psychopathic" might be a give away that they'd end up on these lists. In the music video 3 friends, in a car, run out of gas in the middle of nowhere. Boondox, as a serial killer, then kills all three with flashbacks to the serial killer's past showing how he got to that point in time; including killing his parents.

Blood Factor: 9/10

04. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ

Robbie Williams, from the boy band Take That, went on to have a successful career as a solo artist. In the Summer of 2000 Robbie released Rock DJ as a single; from the album Sing When You're Winning. The music video, directed by Vaughan Arnell, was surrounded by controversy because of its explicit content. The video begins with Williams dancing on a roller disco with girls skating around him. He wants to get the attention of the female DJ (played by Lauren Gold) standing above the stage, so he begins stripping off his clothes. After this does not get her attention, he starts stripping his skin, muscles and organs, too, until the only thing that is left from him are his bones. In the end, he achieves the DJ's attention and dances with her as a skeleton.

Blood Factor: 5/10

03. Unkle - Rabbit In Your Headlights

Unkle, a British electronic duo, released this track in 1998. The video went on to win many awards; including MVPA's Best International Video of the Year in 2006. It stars Denis Lavant as a man wearing a heavy parka and walking along the middle of the road in a busy car tunnel. He appears to be out of his mind, mumbling and shouting incoherences, only occasionally including intelligible words such as "Cristo" and "shimmer!" Some of the cars honk at him and swerve out of his way. All of a sudden a car hits him from the side, and he is left on the ground. The car continues its course without stopping or slowing down. After a while, the man stands up and starts walking again as if nothing had happened. Then another car hits him; this time the hit occurs straight on and sends him flying a couple of feet. A passing motorist watches with contempt as the man rolls in the street. The man gets up again. A car swerves by and slows down alongside the man. The driver and passengers try to talk to him, asking where is he going. The man pays no attention and continues walking and talking to himself. The driver soon tires of this and drives away while one of the passengers calls out, "Nice coat!" Another car hits the man, and he gets up almost instantly. The madness which this man is apparently suffering from gets more acute as he grabs his face and moves erratically. More accidents occur, some cars honk, some cars swerve out of the way — but none stop. The man removes his parka and throws it on the ground. He is shirtless underneath, and we see his chest covered with bruises and cuts. Then, as the song's beat stops, leaving just a piano playing, the man stops as well. He smiles and opens his arms in a crucifix-like position. A car is coming his way and makes no intention of stopping. The car hits the man, but this time he stands unmoved, and the car destroys itself on impact.

Blood Factor: 1/10

02. The Prodigy - Smack My Bitch Up

Smack My Bitch Up was the thirteenth single released by The Prodigy in 1997. The song was highly controversial because its lyrics, title and music video were believed to promote violence against women. The lyrics "Change my pitch up / Smack my bitch up" are repeated through the whole song. The video, directed by Swede Jonas Ã…kerlund, was as controversial and popular as the song itself. The film depicts a night out in the city filmed from a first-person perspective, portraying drinking and driving, snorting cocaine, violence, vandalism, nudity and sex. The unedited version also includes a scene of heroin use and a hit and run incident. The protagonist takes a stripper (played by model Teresa May) home and has sex with her. As the stripper leaves with her stuff, the protagonist glances in the mirror, is revealed to be a woman, and passes out on the bed.

Blood Factor: 1/10

01. Dawn Of Ashes - Torture Device

Dawn of Ashes is an American melodic black metal band with horror based lyrical themes. The video starts off with the band covered in blood and some guy on an operating table. Why? I just don't know but I'm guessing the title of "Torture Device" plays a part. Think of Saw meets Hostel and you have the whole basis of the video.

Blood Factor: 10/10

Like I said this list is by no means the definitive list of weird/strange/disturbing music videos; and I'm sure others will have opinions on what should have been on the list.


Ban Bad Cartoons

Everyone is protesting about something so to jump on that bandwagon I recommend a ban on all the crap cartoons that are festering, and polluting, our TV networks.

Don't get me wrong I have nothing against cartoons; just shit cartoons that look like they were drawn by a kindergartner high on acid.

Back in the day I grew up watching cartoons that were well drawn and instantly recognizable as what they were meant to be. But some of the so-called modern cartoons look like an abortion has had some fucked up dialogue added and been videoed to show to the hippies and junkies that are so baked you could show them the old test pattern and they would be happy.

Test Pattern Picture

Some of the worse cartoons on TV right now are: Adventure Time, Gumball, The Problem Solverz, Secret Mountain Fort Awesome, Flapjack, and Chowder.

Pinocchio (1940)

Adventure Time (2011)

Notice the attention to detail in the Pinocchio screen shot; shadows, light reflection, and actual detail. Notice the simplicity of Adventure Time. 71 years difference and yet the modern cartoon looks like shit compared to the older one.

I'm not saying every cartoon has the budget of Disney but back when Pinocchio was released, 1940, it was all hand-drawn. Now with computer animation they can put shit like Adventure Time out and say that it took time or effort to create. Sorry but the Open Source community are putting better animated films out for free.

Sintel (2010)

Sintel had no budget, no nothing, just the passion and desire of a group of people to put an Open Source animation together. Seems that TV executives are willing to spend money on crap like Adventure Time, and all the other shit cartoons I listed, but not willing to allow quality on their programming schedule. Is this the TV networks way of dumbing down kids to make sure that when they grow up they don't expect any quality TV and will accept a continual stream of reality TV?

But it is not about Open Source being better than commercial cartoons. There are quality cartoons that exist; and are still being made. Take a look at the re-launch of Thundercats:

Thundercats (2011)

And there are others that still hold true to the idea that a cartoon should still look good: Ben 10, Teen Titans, and Young Justice just to name a few. And let us not forget the anime genre that has given us quality like Ghost In The Shell and Cowboy Bebop.

Ghost In The Shell (circa 2005)

So protest with your remote control. When a shit cartoon, that looks like it was drawn on a lunch break, switch channels or turn the TV off. TV executives can only sell advertising if their programmes are being watched; and if no advertiser is willing to advertise on an unwatched cartoon the cartoon will be dropped.


Linux: 20 Years On

Back, on August 25, 1991 Linus Torvalds posted the following message to a newsgroup on Usenet:

"Hello everybody out there using minix -

I'm doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won't be big and professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones.  This has been brewing since april, and is starting to get ready.  I'd like any feedback on things people like/dislike in minix, as my OS resembles it somewhat (same physical layout of the file-system (due to practical reasons) among other things). 

I've currently ported bash(1.08) and gcc(1.40), and things seem to work. This implies that I'll get something practical within a few months, and I'd like to know what features most people would want.  Any suggestions are welcome, but I won't promise I'll implement them :-)

Linus (torvalds@kruuna.helsinki.fi)

PS.  Yes - it's free of any minix code, and it has a multi-threaded fs. It is NOT protable (uses 386 task switching etc), and it probably never will support anything other than AT-harddisks, as that's all I have :-(."

September 17, 1991 Linus Torvalds uploaded Linux version 0.01 to the FTP server (ftp.funet.fi) of the Helsinki University of Technology (HUT). And Linux was born.

20 years later Linus' Linux lives on; but it did become big, professional, and portable.

There are now thousands of versions of Linux available. A quick look at DistroWatch.com shows there are over 4000 versions of Linux available.

Why so many? Because Linux is Open Source. People take Linux and re-write parts of it to meet their needs. So the next question is obviously which one is best? Look at any Linux forum and you'll see that there is no 'best Linux as it comes down to personal choice of what you want.

For example one of the main Linux distributions, Ubuntu, comes as Kubuntu (Ubuntu with the K Desktop Environment), Xubuntu (Ubuntu with the XFCE desktop environment), Edubuntu (Ubuntu for Education), Mythbuntu (A home theatre version using Myth TV), and Ubuntu Studio (Designed for multimedia editing and creation). So one 'base' distribution is tinkered with, and tweaked, to make derivatives.

The most popular versions of Linux, based on the hit count over at DistroWatch.com, are:

1. Ubuntu
2. Mint
3. Bodhi
4. Arch
5. Fedora

I personally use Ubuntu 11.04, Fedora 15, and OpenSUSE 11.2 - but as previously mentioned everyone has their own personal favorites.

So why choose Linux over Windows or OSX? For many reasons - Firstly the cost. Linux is free, Open Source, software. Download it, burn it to a CD or DVD, and install. Secondly the Linux community. Got a question about Linux then the Linux community is the place to go. From beginner questions to advanced technical issues someone somewhere knows the answer. Thirdly, and most importantly, you don't like something just change it. That is why Linux went from one person to millions worldwide. People from all over the world collaborating, working together, to improve and share even better software.

If you are running Windows Vista, or Windows 7, a lot of the features in both Operating Systems were seen in various distributions of Linux first. But don't take anybody's word that Linux is great; download a 'Live CD' or 'Live DVD' and try Linux without even changing your current Operating System. Or if you have the space on your hard drive dual boot - allowing you to choose between Windows and Linux every time you turn your machine on. But at least give it a go before dismissing it (something done way too often).

And if you have never used Linux before; don't worry. You can forget all the rumors that Linux is for nerds, geeks, or people with a degree in Computer Science. If you can handle Windows you can handle Linux.

Nixie Pixel Reviews Ubuntu

You can also find other Linux News, tips, and reviews over at NixiePixel.com or follow NixiePixel on Twitter to be kept informed about Linux and a whole host of other technology related items.


Religion Sucks

Well a post about religion from an atheist that states religion sucks - no surprise there. Now before the Muslims, Buddhists, and all the others get too excited let me say that it should have said "Christian Religion Sucks" so don't be issuing no jihads or stuff like that. I don't want to be blown up by some psychotic person thinking there are 72 virgins waiting for them in heaven.

Anyway, I was talking with a friend and they asked what pushed me into atheism. My usual joke about my father being Satan was lost; and countered with the notion to believe in Satan you have to believe in God. So I was kind of fucked; and instead of walking away at this point I decided to dig my own verbal grave a little deeper and say: "Well all the Christian religions have different standards yet they all supposedly at one point in history must have started with the same Bible. So instead of picking the wrong religion I'm playing it safe and not picking any. And if I get proven wrong and I have to answer to God when I die I'm going to explain that I was playing safe and didn't want to piss him off by picking some religion that meant nothing to him." To which my friend asked: "What problem do you have with us Catholics?"

And that is where this post is going - answering that question. But not just a problem with Catholics but also all the other Christian religions that are all reading the same book supposedly.

OK the Bible I'll be using as a comparison is the Authorized King James Version (AKJV). Not because it is better than all the others but it would seem most Christian religions either use it, have used it, or at least accept it. Anyone has an issue with that choice go dig up King James and tell him; I just picked it because of its universal appeal to all Christian religions.

But I'll start with the Catholic religion. A Pope? Praying to Mary? Praying to little Jesus'? Purgatory? I'll be honest with you I think the whole Catholic religion is pretty much fucked up. Whether it started that way I don't know. But if it didn't somewhere along the line it got really fucked up.

OK. The Pope. Where is he mentioned in the Bible? According to the Catholics he is mentioned in the book of Matthew:

"And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar–jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven. And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." (Matthew 16:17-19)

This little bit puts Simon (also known as Peter) as the first Pope; because of the "upon this rock I will build my church" bit. But that does not necessarily say that Peter is a Pope. If you build upon something the something that you build upon is the foundation. So Jesus could have just meant "The faith that Peter had should be the foundation of the church."

So it doesn't really clear it up. So I asked a Catholic if there were any other references to a Pope in the Bible. There was two references given:

"So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs." (John 21:15)

"And the apostles and elders came together for to consider of this matter. And when there had been much disputing, Peter rose up, and said unto them, Men and brethren, ye know how that a good while ago God made choice among us, that the Gentiles by my mouth should hear the word of the gospel, and believe. And God, which knoweth the hearts, bare them witness, giving them the Holy Ghost, even as he did unto us; And put no difference between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith. Now therefore why tempt ye God, to put a yoke upon the neck of the disciples, which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear? But we believe that through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ we shall be saved, even as they. Then all the multitude kept silence, and gave audience to Barnabas and Paul, declaring what miracles and wonders God had wrought among the Gentiles by them." (Acts 15:6-12)

No. No. No. and one more time no. "Feed my lambs." and 'Peter rising up and the others all listening' does not mean Peter is a Pope. It just doesn't. Jesus didn't say "Feed my lambs Pope Peter." nor did he really put any emphasis on Peter being better suited to feed the lambs than the other apostles. And as for the 'Peter rose up' bit; that just means Peter was the one they were listening to. Congress listens (sometimes) when President Obama speaks but it doesn't mean they are going to call him Pope Obama and start a religion based on that.

I'm not buying the whole Pope bit one little bit.

Praying to Mary. Why? Oh that is right because the Catholics think she died a virgin. So did Mary have kids after Jesus? Sure she did. Joseph was a carpenter - he always had wood. Actually the Bible says she had kids too:

"Is not this the carpenter's son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas? And his sisters, are they not all with us? Whence then hath this man all these things?" (Matthew 13:55-56)

"While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him." (Matthew 12:46)

Back to the Catholic friend who dismisses both sections because "it does not say Mary was the mother." Not the greatest argument seems it doesn't say Peter is Pope; but it is just accepted as that because it hints at it. And whether Mary had other kids is only a small part. The Catholic religion seems to forget the bit in the Bible which mentions not praying to the dead:

"Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God." (Leviticus 19:31)

"And the soul that turneth after such as have familiar spirits, and after wizards, to go a whoring after them, I will even set my face against that soul, and will cut him off from among his people." (Leviticus 20:6)

Both sections are supposedly God talking. And both use the term spirits. God is not talking about some alcoholic beverages here he is clearly on about dead people; and more importantly having nothing to do with them. And let us not forget that Mary was merely a woman. OK she may have been chosen to give birth to Jesus but at the end of the day she was still just a woman. And that is the 2nd commandment - at least it is if your not Catholic:

"Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments." (Exodus 20:4-6).

So the fact of whether Mary had other kids and dead is a moot point. Because the 2nd commandment says don't bow down to to any image or likeness of anything that is Heaven or is on Earth. So Mary is out.

As a minor point the Catholic Bible actually re-wrote the 10 commandments to allow Mary and all the crucifixes in to the Catholic church.

The ten commandments of the AKJV are:

  • 01. I am the LORD thy God...Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
  • 02. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them.
  • 03. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain.
  • 04. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
  • 05. Honor thy father and thy mother.
  • 06. Thou shalt not kill.
  • 07. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
  • 08. Thou shalt not steal.
  • 09. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
  • 10. Though shalt not covet.

The ten commandments of the New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) Bible used by Catholics are:

  • 01. I, the LORD, am your God...You shall not have other gods besides me.
  • 02. You shall not take the name of the LORD, your God, in vain.
  • 03. Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day.
  • 04. Honor your father and your mother.
  • 05. You shall not kill.
  • 06. You shall not commit adultery.
  • 07. You shall not steal.
  • 08. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
  • 09. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife.
  • 10. You shall not covet your neighbor's house.

Because they fucked around and basically took the 2nd commandment out; they had to add one at the end. So instead of it just saying do not covet the Catholic church broke it into 2 and mention the neighbor's wife and the neighbor's house. So even the basis of Christianity, the ten commandments cannot be agreed on between Christian religions.

And finally Purgatory the last stop for Catholics before Heaven and Hell. And it gets mentioned in the Bible? No. My Catholic friend pointed me to 1st Corinthians for the biblical explanation of Purgatory:

"If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire." (1st Corinthians 3:15)

Which really doesn't say squat about Purgatory. But it is deemed, by the Catholics, that it means Purgatory is a place we go to in order to have some of our sins cleansed from us. But that is just one verse taken out of context. Read 1st Corinthians 3:10-15 and it shows that it is on about Paul building the Corinthian church and another building upon his work. Not a thing to do with sins being forgiven because the local priest was paid to say a mass.

And that is it for the Catholics. There is a ton more wrong with the Catholics, as I see it, but the points mentioned are the ones that stick out for me.

Next the Jehovah Witnesses. What is wrong with them? Disfellowship and not accepting blood; and the oh so famous prophecies of Armageddon. That is the two points that stick out for me. I'm not even going to mention their founder, Charles Russell, being buried in a pyramid right near a Freemason lodge.

Disfellowship. The Jehovah Witnesses disfellowship (read as kick someone out) when they don't follow the rules. The Watchtower magazine describes disfellowshipping as:

""disfellowshiping" is what Jehovah's Witnesses appropriately call the expelling and subsequent shunning of such an unrepentant wrongdoer.... a simple "Hello" to someone can be the first step that develops into a conversation and maybe even a friendship. Would we want to take that first step with a disfellowshiped person?" (Watchtower 1981 September 15 pp.22,25)

Which is where in the Bible? Absolutely nowhere. Actually Jesus himself says the exact opposite; in the book of Matthew:

"And it came to pass, as Jesus sat at meat in the house, behold, many publicans and sinners came and sat down with him and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners? But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick." (Matthew 9:10-12)

Jesus comes to Earth to save mankind and is about as holy as you can get; and sits and eats with sinners because they are the ones that need saving. Makes sense really. If you want to convert everyone to Christianity why worry about those that already believe; concentrate on the ones that do not believe.

And how do Jehovah Witnesses decide who is good and bad when they knock on a door early on a Saturday morning? How do they know the person behind that door is not an 'unrepentent wrongdoer'? They don't. They preach that they want to spread the true message of God/Jehovah and that is why they go banging on peoples doors; but when one of their own flock slips up instead of helping them back on to the right path they turn their backs.  Sounds very elitist if you ask me. But Charles Russell cannot be blamed because the Jehovah Witnesses didn't start disfellowshipping people until 1952; which seems odd considering the Jehovah Witness religion was founded in the 1870s. But I suppose someone thought seems the Catholics had excommunication they better get something like it started to keep the riff-raff out.

But what if the disfellowshipped person is a family member? Not to worry the Jehovah Witnesses have that covered. In the appendix of the Jehovah Witness book entitled "Keep Yourselves In God's Love" it says:

"What if a relative is disfellowshipped? In such a case, the close bond between family members can pose a real test of loyalty. How should we treat a disfellowshipped relative? We cannot here cover every situation that may arise, but let us focus on two basic ones.

In some instances, the disfellowshipped family member may still be living in the same home as part of the immediate household. Since his being disfellowshipped does not sever the family ties, normal day-to-day family activities and dealings may continue. Yet, by his course, the individual has chosen to break the spiritual bond between him and his believing family. So loyal family members can no longer havespiritual fellowship with him. For example, if the disfellowshipped one is present, he would not participate when the family gets together to study the Bible. However, if the disfellowshipped one is a minor child, the parents are still responsible to instruct and discipline him. Hence, loving parents may arrange to conduct a Bible study with the child.* -Proverbs 6:20-22; 29:17.

In other cases, the disfellowshipped relative may be living outside the immediate family circle and home. Although there might be a need for limited contact on some rare occasion to care for a necessary family matter, any such contact should be kept to a minimum. Loyal Christian family members do not look for excuses to have dealings with a disfellowshipped relative not living at home. Rather, loyalty to Jehovah and his organization moves. them to uphold the Scriptural arrangement of disfellowshipping. Their loyal course has the best interests of the wrongdoer at heart and may help him to benefit from the discipline received.* -Hebrews 12:11."

So shun your family. Maybe read the 5th commandment if it is your mother or father - just in case. The biggest bit in all that bullshit that got me is the bit which reads:

"Loyal Christian family members do not look for excuses to have dealings with a disfellowshipped relative not living at home. Rather, loyalty to Jehovah and his organization moves."

Maybe after reading that the Jehovah Witnesses can read 1st Timothy:

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." (1st Timothy 5:8)

I understand the loyalty to Jehovah if you are a Jehovah Witness. But they say to turn your back on your family for the Jehovah Witness organization? Seriously what the fuck sort of religion tells you to choose an organization over your own family? Perhaps one that would let a family member die rather than give blood.

My second, personal, problem with the Jehovah Witnesses. Not giving, or receiving, blood. We don't live in the dark ages anymore; all blood is tested to keep out disease. OK the occasional disease might slip through the net. But they don't stop using toilet seats because of the disease on them. Any biblical reference to the no blood? Well, actually, for a change there is; sort of:

"Therefore I said unto the children of Israel, No soul of you shall eat blood, neither shall any stranger that sojourneth among you eat blood." (Leviticus 17:12)

Well that is the bit the Jehovah Witnesses use. Admittedly it does say that you should not eat blood - so no vampires in the Jehovah Witnesses - but it doesn't really say that you cannot have a blood transfusion. Even reading the verses all around that verse never mention transfusion just the eating of blood.

But the weird bit of this is that Jehovah Witnesses can do dialysis.

"And whatsoever man there be of the children of Israel, or of the strangers that sojourn among you, which hunteth and catcheth any beast or fowl that may be eaten; he shall even pour out the blood thereof, and cover it with dust." (Leviticus 17:13)

That, to me, says if blood leaves a body it should be covered with dust. Dialysis does have the blood leave the body; it is then cleaned and put back in the body. So why is that different from a blood transfusion? It isn't. Just that the Jehovah Witnesses have an alternative to blood transfusions; as of yet they have no alternative to dialysis. Let us not forget that Jehovah Witnesses not accepting blood transfusions didn't start until 1945. When something comes along to replace dialysis I'm sure the Jehovah Witnesses will outlaw that too.

How many times have the Jehovah Witnesses predicted Armageddon? Quite a few. Not a happy bunch of people really. 1914 was the first prediction which came and went. Then 1915,then 1918, 1920, 1925, 1932, 1941, and finally 1975. At that point it appears that they just gave up trying to predict the end of the world. Either that or they finally read the Bible:

"Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away. But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only." (Matthew 24:35-36)

I couldn't resist mentioning Charles Russell; the founder of The Jehovah Witnesses. Charles Russell, who founded the Watchtower Society (Jehovah Witnesses), was of the Russell bloodline, which also founded the infamous Skull and Bones Society at Yale University; and Charles Russell himself was a 32nd degree (or 33rd degree depending on source) Freemason.

Talking of Freemasons is a great opportunity to switch attention to the Mormon religion. The Mormons are obviously very special as for them the Bible is not the end; they have The Book Of Mormon which many non-Mormons refer to jokingly as The Bible: Part 2.

Which is the first problem really. Why let Armageddon and then eternal bliss be the end; when you can add so much more? Actually the Book Of Mormon doesn't really add to the end it merely screws around with the history of the Bible. The Book Of Mormon covers 2600 BC to 421 AD; and is allegedly the writings of various prophets. Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormons, was told where to find a collection of ancient writings - which make up the book. Smith was 17 at the time; and was given this information from an angel of God called Moroni. Before anyone else thinks it I already checked. There is no connection between Moroni and the modern day use of moron.

Joseph Smith is considered by the Mormons as a prophet; up there with Moses and Elijah. But in reality Joseph Smith was a really dodgy character. It was him that introduced polygamy to the Mormon church. Why did he do this? So he could have 34 wives. Seriously, what was this guy thinking? His wives at time of marriage ranged from 14 years old to 56 years old. And Joseph Smith did it under the guise of populating the Earth; which was supposedly a revelation from God himself:

"But if she will not abide this commandment, then shall my servant Joseph do all things for her, even as he hath said; and I will bless him and multiply him and give unto him an ahundredfold in this world, of fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, houses and lands, wives and children, and crowns of eternal lives in the eternal worlds." (Doctorine & Covenants 132:55)

"And if he have ten virgins given unto him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for they belong to him, and they are given unto him; therefore is he justified. But if one or either of the ten virgins, after she is espoused, shall be with another man, she has committed adultery, and shall be destroyed; for they are given unto him to multiply and replenish the earth, according to my commandment, and to fulfil the promise which was given by my Father before the foundation of the world, and for their exaltation in the eternal worlds, that they may bear the souls of men; for herein is the work of my Father continued, that he may be glorified." (Doctorine & Covenants 132:62-63)

Well then. God said it to Joseph Smith so it must be true. Maybe God thought about what he said in the Bible:

"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." (1st Corinthians 7:2)

Actually there are a ton of references to monogamy:

  • 1st Corinthians 7:1-40
  • Deuteronomy 17:17
  • 1st Timothy 3:1-16
  • Mark 10:7-8
  • Matthew 19:9
  • Leviticus 18:18

To name but a few. But God forgot all those references just to let Joseph Smith get his end away with 34 wives; and try and populate the world with millions of Mormons.

To be fair, most of the Mormon church does not agree with this practice.

That is just 3 of the supposedly 'Christian' religions. And then each of those 3 have their own splinters; so it is no wonder that Christianity is failing. It is failing because mankind has gone through and bastardized the Bible to meet different standards.

Don't consider this a rant against religion; or a persuasive tactic to say that all religion is wrong - it is merely my opinion on Christian religion. If they want to fix Christianity they should all band together, find the earliest Bible, and all use the same Bible and all follow the same rules.

As Lotto, in the movie 8 Mile, said: "I'll end this with a fuck you but have a nice day." Which kind of sums up my opinion of Christianity, It is not my cup of tea but each to his own and all that happy horse shit.


Miss Universe Disaster Dresses

Congratulations to Miss Angola for winning the Miss Universe competition last night. But it has to be said that some of the so-called 'National' costumes were a little bit on the odd side; actually some were completely fucking ridiculous.

Miss Great Britain

Miss Great Britain stepped out looking like a Katy Perry wannabe; because obviously there was no looter costume she could have worn. Get rid of the blue puffy bit and she could of been going to a nightclub. Not a lot to do with Great Britain.

Miss Tanzania

Miss Tanzania stepped out looking like she was some cheap extra in a low budget science fiction movie. Adorned in gold-looking bits and pieces with pointy bits all over the place. If they make an updated version of Xena - Warrior Princess the wardrobe has already been created. A quick 'google' of Tanzania photos showed nothing which looked like this abomination.

Miss Mexico

Miss Mexico stepped out holding a skull. I have no clue what the skull represented; unless it represented the hundreds dying the Mexican drug wars. The rest of the outfit made her look like one of those toilet roll covers your Grandma has; that she knitted a few centuries ago. It makes you wonder if Mexico is really that cheap and tacky.

Miss Ukraine

Miss Ukraine stepped out and all I could think of was the eighties hit from Nena - 99 Red Balloons. Allegedly it is something to with the Snowball tree, which bears red fruit, is the national symbol of Ukraine. Still, a bunch of twigs may have made more sense than the Christmas baubles hanging around Miss Ukraine's crotch.

Miss Angola

Miss Angola came out with sea shells and plastic fish all over her dress. What the fuck was she thinking? The last thing someone wants remember a woman by is fish.

Miss Curacao

Miss Curacao stepped out looking like some distant relative to Sesame Street's Big Bird. And for those wondering where on earth Curacao is - it is an island in the southern Caribbean Sea; off the Venezuelan coast. A quick look at Wikipedia mentioned nothing about scary looking 6ft tall birds wandering around the island.

But it wasn't all bad. Some nations did their nation proud with their National Costume. Worthy mentions are: Miss Thailand, Miss Japan, and Miss Egypt.

Miss Thailand

Miss Japan

Miss Egypt

So maybe next year the various designers of the dresses could take a look back at this years disasters and think before they start designing some abomination which does neither the woman, or the nation, any justice. Maybe; but I doubt it. I am sure next year the dresses will have their fair share of stupidity and ugliness. Lets just be thankful it is only once a year.


Look Busy - Jesus Is Coming

A friend sent me an email concerning a set of 70 books that were found about 5 years ago in Jordan. With it came the obligatory links to various news items and discussions concerning the 70 books.

All the articles I found from the various links neither confirm or deny an actual date when the books were first created; merely they point to a time period:

"Initial metallurgical tests indicate that some of the books could date from the first century AD. This estimate is based on the form of corrosion which has taken place, which experts believe would be impossible to achieve artificially."

But, according to many, that is where the real mystery starts.

One of the photos shows a book made from lead, sealed with 12 lead rings, but to open and read the book you would need to break 7 of the rings.

And the reason for the mystery? Well, the Bible states there is a book which had seven seals:

"And I saw in the right hand of him that sat on the throne a book written within and on the backside, sealed with seven seals." (KJV, Revelation 5:1)

And this book, that has 7 seals, can only be opened by Jesus. And in the book of Revelation he does so (Revelation 6:1 - 8:1) and when Jesus opens the 7th seal the whole Armageddon/apocalypse starts (Revelation 8:7 - 10:7)

Now from the photographs shown not all the books have the 7 seals:

And this is further mentioned by Dr Margaret Baker, a former president of the Society for Old Testament Study, who is quoted as saying:

"The Book of Revelation tells of a sealed book that was opened only by the Messiah. Other texts from the period tell of sealed books of wisdom and of a secret tradition passed on by Jesus to his closest disciples. That is the context for this discovery."

So if you believe in all the God/Armageddon stuff now might be a good time to start repenting your sins and all that. If however, you don't believe in it all now is a time where you might be proven wrong. Either way the discovery, and the consequent discussions, about the 70 books is definitely an interesting fact - and as many articles say these 70 books may be more important than the Dead Sea Scrolls; which were discovered in 1947.

Daily Mail Article
BBC News Article
History of the Apocalypse
Bible Gateway KJV Bible


Secret Shopper

Well some have been wondering where I have been; and asking questions about what I have been up to. Well, I am Michael Jackson. Nah, I am just kidding you; but I have started wearing various disguises when I am in public working.

I'm getting ahead of myself slightly here. About two weeks ago I answered an advert looking for people to go shopping and get paid for it. I thought to myself 'Hey I can shoplift a piece of cake - so actually paying for it with someone else's money should be even easier'.

I called the number on the advert even thought the newspaper was 3 days old and the following day met with a gentleman called Chris. He explained the job and said their main customer was Walmart. So I told him I had been successfully shoplifting at Walmart for the last 3 years and had only been caught the once - which was now completely finished with.

He admired my honesty and informed me I had the job. I'll be honest with you I was as happy as a pig in shit. He handed me a bag and said that was so the workers would not recognize me. I looked inside and there were various pairs of glasses, a couple of false beards, and some other bits and pieces.

Chris said he would call me in a couple of days with my first job; and that I would be paid $150 for the day. Forget the pig I was happier than a whole herd of pigs in shit.

Chris was as good as his word and called me two days later with a list of things to do while I was in the store:

  • Ask an employee where the bleach is while in the automotive section; and see if they just point or actually take me there.
  • Ask an employee at Customer Services what their return policy is and specifically ask about underwear.
  • Buy 25 items and make sure they are big and bulky. See if an employee will offer to assist in taking the things out.
  • See if the 'greeter' employee offers you a sticker and welcomes you.

Nothing too difficult I thought. I asked him how I was meant to pay for the products and he said to pop in to the office and see Sharon for some cash which must be accounted for by the receipt. So I did just that.

Happy to be working I walked in to Walmart. That is where things started going wrong.

Firstly the greeter did not greet me as he was talking to an old army buddy. When I interrupted and said "Hello" he just replied "What the fuck do you want?" When I told him I was there to do some shopping he pushed me away from him and said "Well don't let me hold you up or the short bus will leave without you." I then asked if I could have a sticker and he gave me the whole roll and said "I have been laid off. I finish at the end of the week. Shove them up your ass for all I care."

Not a good start after all. But I was still optimistic that things would get better. So I made my way to the automotive section.

Sad to say but things did not get better.

I asked an employee named Gavin, who was in the automotive section, where the bleach was. He did not know. His actual words were "Fucked if I know this is the automotive section." I explained that I knew that but I needed some bleach. He told me to ask someone else as his fingers tapped away at his smart-phone; updating his Facebook status. I said that as the customer it was his job to ensure I was a happy customer. He said, and I use his exact words, "I was at this banging party last night and I don't know if it was the weed or the alcohol but I'm pretty fucked up right now. Look, they pay me $7.25 an hour to turn up to this shit hole to deal with fucking idiots that don't know the difference between a dipstick and a fucking brake pad. So if I don't care that you are not happy you'll understand why I don't give a shit." Slightly off-putting but I left Gavin as he looked like he was about to puke into a pile of discount tires.

Two down and ultimately two failures. I had two more tasks left. Hopefully they would result in a better outcome. So I went over to Customer Service to ask about their return policy regarding underwear.

At Customer Service a woman named Janice asked me what she could do. She didn't laugh when I said "I don't know how about you juggle some balls." she just said "Either you need my help or fuck off back to whatever institution you escaped from." I then told her I was wondering about the return policy regarding underwear. She asked me what sort of underwear it was. I was not ready for that question so I blurted out the first thing and said "Bra and panties; they don't fit me." She looked at me then spoke to one of her colleagues and they both looked at me. When she had finished laughing she said "I'm sorry we cannot accept returns on underwear unless it is faulty." At last someone who knew their job. She said "Maybe your boyfriend can get you a better fitting set next time." I don't know why she presumed I was gay I never said anything that indicated that. So I just thanked her and went on to the last task I had to complete.

25 bulky items. Easy. I won't bore you with the exact details but let me tell you the cart was practically overflowing. I got to the checkout and that bit went fine. The I pretended to struggle with the items and the cart. Instead of being asked if I needed help all the checkout assistant could say was "Hey guy can you get a move on i have customers here." I told I would be a lot quicker if someone could help me. She replied "You'll be lucky. We used to have people that would help and that but since the cutbacks chances are if you can't get it to your car you shouldn't have purchased all that shit." I pushed the cart wondering to myself what had happened to the idea that the customer was always right.

I took the shopping to Chris's office and started to tell him what a nightmare it had been at Walmart. He said not to tell him and just email him the report; but he did say it was usually like that at Walmart since they started hiring the mentally handicapped; and he said at night the workers looked like extras from the Michael Jackson Thriller video. I was going to mention the whole death hoax but he looked like he didn't care. Actually he didn't even care that I had dressed up as a Jewish priest so as not to be recognized. He then told me that Sharon would pay me and make sure the report was sent within 24 hours.

I am paying taxes again.

Well that was the first time. I have done several secret shops since and am totally enjoying my work. At this rate I will be able to save for a deposit on a nice place to live. Not sure what I will be called then though; as I have got used to being called Homeless Dave.

Why Now?

Over the last couple of years there has been country after country 'dethroning' despot leaders to regain some sort of normality in the country. One such country is Libya. The home of the infamous Gaddafi (who coincidentally looks like some mutant cross between David Hasselhoff and Peter Falk).

Gaddafi has been in power for 41 years. And it is not like this crackpot only just went mental he started shit the second he was in power. He took control in Spetember 1969; and by December 1969 had ordered a pullout of American and British military bases in Lybia. At about the same time Gaddafi changed oil company payments from 50-50 to 79-21 in the Libyan government's favor.

And in 1970 Gaddafi ordered the expulsion of Italians from Lybia.

In 1973 Gaddafi created 'revolutionary committees' to keep the people in order. It is estimated that 10-20% of all Libyans worked as informants for these committees. The government often executed dissidents through public hangings and mutilations and rebroadcast them on state television channels. People who formed a political party were executed, and talking about politics with foreigners was punishable by up to 3 years in jail.

His revolutionary committees called for the assassination of Libyan dissidents living abroad in April 1980, sending Libyan hit squads abroad to murder them. On April 26, 1980 Gaddafi set a deadline of June 11, 1980 for dissidents to return home or be "in the hands of the revolutionary committees". Gaddafi stated explicitly in 1982 that "It is the Libyan people's responsibility to liquidate such scums who are distorting Libya's image abroad." Libyan agents have assassinated dissidents in the United States, Europe, and the Middle East.

Fast forward to 1976. In 1976, after a series of terrorist attacks by the Provisional IRA, Gaddafi announced that "the bombs which are convulsing Britain and breaking its spirit are the bombs of Libyan people. We have sent them to the Irish revolutionaries so that the British will pay the price for their past deeds".

Following the 1986 bombing of Libya, Gaddafi intensified his terror attacks on Americans. He financed the Nation of Islam, which emerged as one of the leading organizations receiving assistance from Libya; and Al-Rukn, in their emergence as an indigenous anti-American armed revolutionary movement. Members of Al-Rukn were arrested in 1986 for preparing to conduct terrorist strikes on behalf of Libya, including blowing up U.S. government buildings and bringing down an airplane; the Al-Rukn defendants were convicted in 1987 of "offering to commit bombings and assassinations on U.S. soil for Libyan payment." In 1986, Libyan state television announced that Libya was training suicide squads to attack American and European interests. He began financing the IRA again in 1986, to retaliate against the British for harboring American fighter planes.

So from the start of his reign as the leader of Lybia he has always been somewhat an asshole. So, why has the world waited until 2011 to actually do something about him?

Cynics have suggested that it is oil.  The three main countries to cash in on the rebels taking power in Lybia are France, United Kingdom, and the United States. All three have seen oil prices rise and rise over the last couple of years; which has had a knock-on effect to each country's economy.

So with Gaddafi out we should, after September 13, be enjoying cheaper gasoline; and as a result things economically should improve too. If it doesn't it was all for nothing.

Think NATO countries would be spending billions to get Gaddafi out if they were not expecting some sort of payback?

So French, British, and American people, and others, very soon you will be able to head to the gas pumps for cheaper gas; and while the tank is filling - think to yourself if it had only been profitable to get Gaddafi out 41 years ago thousands of lives worldwide would not have been lost because of the "mad dog of the Middle East".