12/20/2012

Who Killed The Hoax?

The short answer is that the hoax killed the hoax. There you go saves a lot of time reading the rest of the post. Enjoy your Christmas and all that; thanks for stopping by.

If you want to hang around and read the long answer; then carry on reading.

Warning: This post contains strong language; but hey what did you really expect?

The idea that Michael Jackson may have faked his death, just like Elvis, sat with me for ages. But the dawn of realization made me reconsider this; and I decided that no matter what Michael Jackson had truly passed away.

But the hoax lived on with various mentally retarded people thinking they were Michael Jackson; and they made their way to various social networks. But these dipshits are just the bottom-feeders of the whole hoax community; the real turnip-munching, ass-chomping, fucktards are the ones that support these basement dwellers.

The people know who they are. They follow these wannabes as if it really was Michael Jackson tweeting away to them. And if you gives these fucked-up individuals any information which proves that these wannabe cocksuckers are not Michael Jackson they get all defensive and go into some #TeamDMovie or #TeamAMSI protective little ring to protect their 'supposed' idol.

Well, there is no nice way to put this, you are all fucking stupid assholes for thinking that someone who attacks Katherine Jackson openly in their tweets is Michael Jackson; the guy who adored and worshiped his mother. And you dumb fucks that support these basement dwellers are the ones that killed the hoax. You killed the legacy of your idol by believing that these fuck-ups of life are Michael himself.

So, when you follow the every word of these wannabes like they are some sort of savior remember the hoax is looking like a complete fucking joke so you people can get your kicks thinking that some high school dropout is Michael Jackson. So pat yourselves on your back and then wipe that slimy grin off your face because in all honesty you people make Conrad Murray look like a nice guy.

Some quick facts to piss you off just that little bit more. AMSI, or whatever shitty name they are using now, is not, will never be, and can never be Michael Jackson. You feed their ego, which they nurse because their mother rejected them at birth. You hang on their every word and treat it like some sort of gospel of Michael. You really think that Michael Jackson is tweeting to you. You need to just get over it. You need to look at all the evidence that various people have presented and realize that Michael Jackson is not, and never will be, on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, or Pinterest.

You need to stop allowing these dumbass wannabes to mind-fuck each and everyone of you. If you really need to hold on to the idea that Michael Jackson is alive and well so be it. But to dilute his legacy with the belief that some ex-felon on Twitter is Michael Jackson not only deludes yourself it slowly but surely  leaves Michael Jackson's legacy looking like some murky pool of shit and piss.

Who killed the hoax? The people who fall for every fucking mind game going. If you think some asshole on Twitter, or some crazy Nazi preaching some regurgitated Seven Day Adventist bullshit can save you I truly pity you. But while you fall for everything you will receive an email from an African prince that needs your help - in advance he thanks you for your cash.

11/09/2012

Interviewing Joe Jackson

In what seems like a really bad dream that never ends Homeless Dave managed to take time out from his shoplifting excursions to do an interview, one on one, with Joe Jackson; patriarch of the Jackson family. As normal Homeless Dave forgot to record the the event; so what follows is his transcription of the interview.

Dave: Well, let me start by saying I am totally sorry.
Joe: Sorry for what?
Dave: That Outkast did a song about Ms. Jackson and not Mr. Jackson.
Joe: What the hell has that got to do with me?
Dave: Nothing that I know of. I was just saying it could have been "I'm sorry Mr. Jackson. I am for real. Never meant to make your daughter cry."
Joe: Hold up. Which daughter did you make cry?
Dave: None. Well, not intentionally. Although I do think I accidentally banged into Janet with a shopping cart in Walmart once. She didn't say anything. I apologized. But as I walked off I noticed a tear, or maybe two, on her cheek.
Joe: Janet was in Walmart?
Dave: Yeah. Maybe. I think it was her.
Joe: You think?
Dave: No. You stink.
Joe: What?
Dave: Just because I am homeless doesn't mean you can say I stink. Homeless people have feelings too you know.
Joe: I said you think.
Dave: Thank you. I like to ponder sometimes. You ever sit alone, in a cardboard box, just wondering who, or what, killed the dinosaurs?
Joe: Dinosaurs? Wasn't that an asteroid or something. Yeah; it was on the History Channel. Some asteroid hit the earth, threw up a whole mess of debris which obscured the sun, this caused an ice age, and the dinosaurs died.
Dave: But was it really like that?
Joe: How the hell should I know?
Dave: What if that is just what the media want you to believe?
Joe: (Chuckling) You think there was CNN back then?
Dave: Obviously not. Or the History Channel would have just shown you archive footage. The present day media are the ones lying about it.
Joe: (Still chuckling) OK. So what did happen?
Dave: Well, I saw this program that some scientist brought the dinosaurs back to life. It was on an island. But the dinosaurs got a bit out of hand. So they had to kill the dinosaurs.
Joe: (Laughing) Aw man. You are killing me. That was no program that was a movie. It was Jurassic Park. They even made a sequel.
Dave: That is the conspiracy. They want you to think it is just a movie; where in reality it was using actual footage.
Joe: You are one crazy dude.
Dave: Talking of crazy. What is this about Jermaine changing his name to Jacksun?
Joe: He's a damn fool. I blame his mother. She was too soft on those kids. You do something wrong you get beat for it.
Dave: Rumor has it that you never knew when to stop beating though.
Joe: What? Who said that? Anyway, Jermaine thinks the sun shines out his goddamn ass; and unfortunately his momma never let me beat that idea out of him. That is why he is like he is. Would have been different if his momma hadn't protected him so much from reality.
Dave: Really? In what way?
Joe: Well look at him poncing all over the place like he achieved something. He aint achieved shit. He's living off his brother. Hell, he writes a book and even that is about his brother. You know why Jermaine never wrote a book about himself?
Dave: Why?
Joe: Nobody would buy it. Nobody would read it. And then to protect Jermaine from the truth his momma would go out and waste good money buying up all the copies; so that he thinks he did something good.
Dave: Jermaine did date Whitney Houston for a while. That has to be considered good?
Joe: Ok. Let me set the story straight. Jermaine never dated no Whitney Houston. That was just his momma interfering again. See, what happened was Katherine took Jermaine to see Michael pick up some award. Well, all the way there Jermaine was whining how everyone liked Michael. Anyway at the award ceremony Jermaine was still whining so Katherine took Michael off to one side and asked if he could hook Jermaine up with Whitney. Michael just looked at Jermaine and laughed. But, as always, he did what his momma wanted.
Dave: So, Michael actually got Whitney to date Jermaine?
Joe: Hold your horses. I'm getting to that bit. When Michael asked Whitney she said not as long as there was air in her lungs. Michael talked to her and said just get your photo taken with him a couple of times; and if anyone asks about you dating you don't have to lie but you don't have to deny it either.
Dave: So they never were dating.
Joe: That is what I just told you. Boy were you even listening?
Dave: Yes sir. It was more of a statement of realization.
Joe: You'll realize my belt can still whoop ass if you don't listen when I talk.
Dave: OK. OK. Calm down.
Joe: You just show me the respect I deserve.
Dave: So, Mr. Jackson how is your theme park coming along?
Joe: Same as everything I touch, and put Michael's name to, it is coming along nicely.
Dave: You going to be selling cotton candy?
Joe: Sure; most likely.
Dave: What about candy apples?
Joe: No doubt. There is no theme park in the world without candy apples.
Dave: You going to have those side stalls where you pick a ticket. And if it ends in five or zero you win a prize?
Joe: I don't know about that one.
Dave: Because I know this guy who used to do that for a living. And he'd pick out the ones that ended in five or zero. Then when all the tickets were done he'd only put half of them back in and keep some of the winners back. Just sounds like the sort of thing you'd do Joe.
Joe: If you, young man, are passing doubt on my character that is no good. Hey did he make a good bit of the ole greenbacks doing that?
Dave: He sure did.
Joe: I'm liking what I'm hearing.
Dave: You going to be making it a family business because I can't say I have ever imagined any of the Jackson family as a bunch of carnies ripping people off for a few bucks; well other than Jermaine and maybe Marlon when he scams people with them house sales. I have seen when they flip houses and get some sucker to buy an old house with a lick of paint.
Joe: Marlon sells houses for a living?
Dave: He used to.
Joe: Hot damn. He told me those were his houses and he was offering me a good deal. I must have got 6 off him.
Dave: You saying Marlon managed to put a few over the 'mighty' Joe Jackson aka The King Of Scams?
Joe: Yes and no. He did. But I always used Katherine's money to buy them. I had some people from the IRS looking at my financial affairs.
Dave: So Katherine owns a ton of houses then?
Joe: She did. I sold them on once the IRS found some other fool to keep harassing. I just put the paperwork in front of her and said "Jehovah wants your autograph honey."
Dave: What religion are you Joe?
Joe: Don't be asking me to take sides. I am a man of all religions. You want some Muslim artifacts I got you. You want the original crucifix because you a Christian I got your back. You want something Jewish I got you. Hell, right now I got a trunk full of Buddhas I'm trying to unload.
Dave: Not for me thanks. I'm strictly Catholic. But if I hear of anyone wanting some Buddhas I'll give them your number.
Joe: Don't forget the catchphrase.
Dave: There's a catchphrase. What is it?
Joe: Dial 1-800-JOEJ. If Joe can't get it you don't need it.
Dave: Wasn't a similar line used in the movie Dusk To Dawn?
Joe: What are you a copyright lawyer?
Dave: No.
Joe: Well then. Shut the hell up.
Dave: Talking of lawyers. Can't say I've seen you going to court for a while. Has the great Joe Jackson finally given up?
Joe: I gave up on that joker Oxman. Damn fool couldn't get money if they were giving it away. Why the hell I ever let him represent me I'll never know.
Dave: Had nothing to do with he was working for free; expecting a big pay off?
Joe: (Laughing) Yep, now you mention it, that is why. You know you have a bad lawyer when he's willing to work for free; well almost free.
Dave: So you've split ways with Brian Oxman?
Joe: Not split ways really. Just I don't take his calls no more since he started asking for money.
Dave: I see.
Joe: Well, I got some suckers to sell some things to. So I'm out of here. Don't forget if someone wants those Buddhas.
Dave: Yeah yeah I'll let you know.
Joe: (Throwing a dollar bill) Here, get yourself a cup of Joe.
Dave: I don't drink coffee. But thanks.
Joe: Give me my damn dollar back then.
Dave: See ya!

Legal Notice: This is Homeless Dave's account of what happened. There is no evidence that a fictional person had a fictional interview with Joe Jackson. Any lawyer wishing to make a legal argument based on the preceding interview really needs to decide if they want to work in law.

8/16/2012

How To Be Michael Jackson



You woke up this morning and decided you want to be Michael Jackson. Well, good news for you my friend - it truly doesn't matter if you are black or white. Thanks to the Internet anyone can be Michael Jackson. Lets be honest it doesn't matter if you are black, white, male, female, or an alien from another planet; it is the Internet.

But before everyone jumps up and down shouting "I'm going to be Michael Jackson" there are a few things you'll need. Some of them are required and some of them are optional. It all depends on how far you want to take it.

An Internet connection. Doesn't matter if it is yours, your neighbors, or McDonalds. Hell it doesn't even matter if you are still using dial-up. Without an Internet connection you'll actually have to turn up in person; and you will be spotted as a fake instantly. Unless you have a great excuse as to why Michael Jackson is now 350 lbs, female, and living in a basement.

An email account. Be sure to pick an address that will work for your plan; and just screams Michael Jackson. Such as IAmMichaelJoe@gmail.com or NoReallyIAmMJ@yahoo.com. The possibilities are almost limitless. Remember be as creative as possible here; after all you are Michael Jackson. If all the addresses you can think of have gone, don't give up, just add three 7s at the end: IAmMichaelJacksonNoReallyIAm777@gmail.com or TheSingleGlovedOne777@hotmail.com. Important Note: Always use this email. Never accidentally use your own personal email address; because Michael Jackson just would not email from Basement.Dweller@att.com. He Just wouldn't.

A Twitter, Facebook, TinyChat, and Skype account. Don't worry about MySpace; there are 5 people still using it which is not a big enough audience for 'Michael Jackson'.

A Purpose. You don't want to waste your time just being Michael Jackson; and just tweeting about nothing. Remember you are Michael Jackson. You have to have a purpose. But don't get all sad, and depressed, you don't have to think too hard. You could be spreading love, the truth, giving clues, or just doing psychic readings for your fans that are willing to divulge more information than they should.

A jeweled glove, fedora hat, and white socks. These are totally optional as you'll never be seen; but they will help you stay in character. Now, if you want to go with a 'Bad era' Michael Jackson look that is totally up to you; but if your Michael Jackson is popular you could spend hours each day sat in tight-fitting leather trousers. The choice is yours.

A basic knowledge of Michael Jackson. Don't worry if you know nothing about him; Google is your friend at this point. And if you want to say something as Michael Jackson, that is wrong, mention the version in the media and news is lies. Just be careful what you choose to lie about. Tweeting "I really wish Jermaine had done the vocals on Earth Song." will instantly have you rejected as yet another fake Michael Jackson.

So armed with your new identity you are ready to reveal Michael Jackson to the world. You are ready to join the other Michael Jacksons; and rise to the top. You are ready to be the best fake Michael Jackson you can be. Soon hundreds, if not thousands, will be following your every word. Well done Mr. Jackson!

But oh no. Hundreds of other fake Michael Jacksons are already there. They have the backing of 'investigative journalists' like Pearl Jr. You feel queasy. You don't have it in you to compete. You got your Mom's basement set up just the way you like it. Tears run down your cheeks because it was all for nothing.

Fear not. The world may not be ready for another Michael Jackson you don't have to give up on your dreams.

Dry those tears. Shake off the disappointment. Because today your dreams change. You are going to be an informer.

That is it. Smile. Be happy. So you didn't make it as Michael Jackson. Not to worry. You are now one of Michael Jackson's closest friends; ready to reveal information on behalf of Michael Jackson. Fame is at your fingertips.

Now I already know what you are thinking. You are thinking "But Doggie I couldn't make it as Michael how can I make it as an informer?' Fret not. Look at other informers. They know nothing. They lead people on a path through some mindless drivel and never give a clear answer. And if you say something which is later proven wrong you can use the old chestnut excuse of "Plans were changed at the last minute." They will fall for that time and time again.

So, hang up your bedazzled glove. Put the fedora hat back in the closet. You are now a Michael Jackson informer.

First thing first. Forget about typing normally that is for normal people. You must be cryptic so that if anything goes wrong you can blame others for misinterpreting it. It is never your fault.

Be aware that certain informers in the past have done things that you should try and avoid copying:

JokeCalmsChina - Anagrams
TS - Numerology

Both have been done and been debunked. The anagrams were flawed in their answers. The numerology was flawed in that constant variables were changed so that calculations could equal something it otherwise would not.

As a fake informer you need to be original. You need to stand out from the crowd of the other fake informers. Spending a bit of time here will reap the benefits later.

You are ready. Join a forum, start giving your own version of information, wait for the people to follow your every word. You put the work in - now bask in the glory.

Legal Notice: Pretending to Michael Jackson, or an informer, is not illegal as long as it is not done to make money or mislead people in a harmful way. It is, however, very sad and shows signs of deeper psychological problems; but it is not illegal as long as you don't cash in or harm people. This guide is merely an introduction into the stupidity of pretending to be Michael Jackson; or an informer. If you really feel the need to go this route it might be an ideal time to evaluate your life; see what is lacking so badly that you have to fill the space with being a fake Michael Jackson; or informer.

Legal Notice 2: For all the retarded assholes from MJDHI that are going to bitch, whine, and snivel that the calculations of TS have not been debunked; which is why the $999 was never paid - READ, INVESTIGATE, & ASK. Any mathematician, or scientist, will tell you that for a numerical formula (especially those involving dates) to hold up to scrutiny, and prove itself to be correct, it must remain constant. Using 2-digit and 4-digit years for calculations is not constant. Lets look at the date of death; June 25, 2009:

06 + 25 + 09 = 40
06 + 25 + 2009 = 42
06 + 25 + 2009 = 2040
0 + 6 + 2 + 5 + 0 + 9 = 22
0 + 6 + 2 + 5 + 2 + 0 + 0 + 9 = 24

Four different answers from one date; merely using addition. Therefore the numerology is debunked because certain calculations of TS use 2-digit years; and others 4-digit years. Instead of paying me the $999 donate it to the ASPCA.

Legal Notice 3: The 'guide' to being Michael Jackson, or an informer, does not merely poke fun at the various basement dwellers that do this. It also pokes fun at those that are deluded they will grasp at anything. But then there are also those that seem to be doing it purely for financial gain - these can be spotted by their constant advertising and plagiarism of others work.

8/08/2012

A Small Rant

OK this post is for the supposed fans of Michael Jackson that follow the Twitter user @AsMichaelJoeSay (previously known as MJViva and AsMichaelSaysIt).

What the hell are you fucking retarded, monkey masturbating, inbred assholes think you are doing? You really think this basement dweller is Michael Jackson? You really that fucked in the head that you'll cling on to any dumbass that says they are Michael Jackson?

Let's be honest here. AsMichaelJoeSay has about as much chance of being Michael Jackson as Homeless Dave. Yep, it is that pure and simple.

And just before you all start with the whole: "I'll follow who I want. I don't care if this 400lb, 45 year old virgin, is living in their Mom's basement. It may be Michael." Think about it. Read all the stuff about what MJViva, AsMichaelSaysIt, and AsMichaelJoeSay has said in the past.

And while we are at it let us mention that this basement dweller is going to the chat room, on TinyChat, that Paris Jackson frequents. Does she acknowledge him? No. Does she even mention him? No.

Why? Because AsMichaelJoeSay is not her dad.

While we are mentioning a reality check can all the hoaxers stop asking Paris about her Dad being alive. Think about the reality of what you are doing. You are asking a child about her dead parent. Just because you feel that he may have faked his death don't make it factual.

You people following every fake ass wannabe Michael Jackson are not only giving the 'idea of of a hoax' a bad name but if Michael Jackson is alive (which is highly doubtful) he is looking at all you retards following a fake; thinking: "This is why I faked my death. These assholes are dumber than a box of rocks dipped in stupidity."

You can say I am no fan because I don't think every little thing that happens in the world is a clue. If I want easy breadcrumbs I'll go buy some Shake & Bake.

As usual don't take my word for it. Use Google cache and check what your wannabe MJ has said in the past. You all want to investigate something - how about investigating all these claims from fakes, informers, and all the other cockroaches that are claiming they know something.

Peace. (Just for old times sake)

7/06/2012

Interviewing The President

This is a guest post by Homeless Dave.

Recently I got the chance, and permission, to sit with President Obama and discuss things that really matter to me.

The following is a transcript of that discussion; which took place at the White House.

Dave: Let me start by saying thanks for doing this.
Obama: No problem.
Dave: Nice house you have got here.
Obama: Well, thank you.
Dave: You got room for one more?
Obama: Not really. Various people work here and all that. It is not just mine.
Dave: No spare closet then I take it?
Obama: Sorry. No.
Dave: OK. Well that makes things a tad awkward but I'm not here just to scam a free room. Lets get down to the nuts and bolts. Was you born in Kenya?
Obama: This again? You seriously want to start with the birth certificate issue?
Dave: If you don't mind Mr. President I'll ask the questions. I was in McDonalds the other day, not for the food just the free wifi, and I watched this video with Alex Jones who had your birth certificate and he showed it was made up of layers all pasted together. He said you have to be hiding something.
Obama: It was a fake.
Dave: Yeah. That is what he said. He also said you shouldn't be president.
Obama: No you idiot ...
Dave: There will be no name calling here. If you want to go that route it can get very ugly very quickly.
Obama: Sorry. What I meant was that the layered birth certificate was not mine. It was fabricated.
Dave: So whose birth certificate was it?
Obama: I really don't know.
Dave: You make a habit of getting unknown birth certificates and make them yours?
Obama: Look. The birth certificate that Alex Jones pulled apart was a JPG file. It just doesn't hold layer information like that.
Dave: Maybe in Adobe it does. I don't know I use Microsoft Paint for all my editing.
Obama: You need to look at JPG file containers. They are a flat, single layer, image. If you had, say, an original PSD file then you could pull the layers apart. But JPG just doesn't hold that sort of information.
Dave: Is that why you put a JPG file up; so that nobody could prove it was fake?
Obama: It is not fake. I was born in Hawaii.
Dave: Not according to Alex Jones.
Obama: Well he is wrong.
Dave: If you say so. So are you a member of the Illuminati then?
Obama: What? No. Of course not.
Dave: That is what I figured you would say. Keep it all 'hush hush' and all that. But just between the two of us are you secretly planning to destroy the United States?
Obama: I'm trying to build it up. After eight long years of Bush it is not an easy task. It takes time.
Dave: You think a second term will help?
Obama: Of course. I can, and will, turn this country around.
Dave: While secretly you destroy it by selling out to the Chinese.
Obama: Why would I want to destroy it?
Dave: For the New World Order. So you and your cronies can depopulate the Earth. and run it. I've seen the Georgia stones my friend.
Obama: So as President of the United States, you are saying, my goal is to destroy the United States and let China take over?
Dave: More or less. Yes. That is the word on the Internet. That and merging Canada, the United States, and Mexico to make one big country.
Obama: What? Canada? Mexico?
Dave: Yep. It was on the Internet.
Obama: This is pure stupidity.
Dave: OK Mr Smartypants. If it is stupidity why build another bridge, right next to the existing one, between Canada and Detroit?
Obama: To ease congestion on the existing one. I don't know. But I am sure that there is a valid, legitimate, reason.
Dave: Firstly, there is no congestion. The existing bridge is nowhere close to operating at full capacity. Secondly, Detroit doesn't need another bridge. Instead of importing crap from Canada we should start the factories working again. Rebuild the Motor City.
Obama: Not everything from Canada is crap.
Dave: I got two words for you - Justin Bieber.
Obama: You may have a point there.
Dave: It is all part of the bigger picture.
Obama: What is?
Dave: Let me suggest a scenario. Let me say I believe you are not part of some world plan. I don't but for arguments sake let us say I do.
Obama: OK.
Dave: As President of the United States if you are not part of it how can you fail to see what is happening?
Obama: A bridge does not make a conspiracy.
Dave: Wake up Barack. Smell the coffee. Look at the Patriot Act. Why add funds to protecting the Canadian border while taking funds from the Mexican border. I don't see too many Canadians jumping the border.
Obama: The Patriot Act was George Bush.
Dave: Barack don't do it to yourself. Don't keep saying it was Bush. What happened to 'Hope' and 'Change'?
Obama: I can't do it anymore. Everyone hates me. The only reason I'm alive is because of the Secret Service.
Dave: I wouldn't trust them. I heard on the Internet they got plans. You get out of hand they'll take you out like they did JFK.
Obama: What? Where did you hear this?
Dave: On the Internet.
Obama: Is there any more details?
Dave: It said they would blame it on militant Muslims or a racist group like the Aryan Nation. Word is they already got a patsy or two lined up.
Obama: Surely this is just fear mongering. The secret service are here to protect me not kill me.
Dave: That is what JFK thought. But on to more important matters.
Obama: What? What could be more important than my life?
Dave: What do you think about Britney on the X Factor?
Obama: That is more important?
Dave: Is to Britney.
Obama: I'm sure she will do very well.
Dave: Really? You honestly think that?
Obama: (laughing) Hell no. She is going to meltdown like a Japanese nuclear reactor.
Dave: Hey. Hey. That is not funny. People died you jerk.
Obama: (still laughing) I know. All part of the plan.
Dave: What the fuck? What?
Obama: (not laughing) Forget I said anything.
Dave: You said it was part of a plan.
Obama: Actually I said part of the plan; not a plan. But you'll forget I said that.
Dave: How can I forget that?
Obama: You either forget it or I scream once and four armed guards make you look like Swiss cheese.
Dave: Well you leave me no choice. I'll forget it. Hey, as I'm forgetting all this any word on Kenya and that?
Obama: All true.
Dave: Which bits?
Obama: All of it. When the New World Order is in place I, and my associates, will rule the world.
Dave: You are mad you are.
Obama: OK. This interview is over, Get out and remember.
Dave: Remember what?
Obama: Remember nothing. You tell anyone anything you are dead.

So that is how the interview went down. I risk my life telling you all of this. But for the sake of journalism, and humanity, I do so.

If I ever strangely just disappear you'll know they got me. But if you have read this far they may be after you too. Be vigilant - Be safe - Be aware.

6/30/2012

MJDHI Scam


This whole post goes with the the theory that on June 25, 2009, Michael Jackson did not die but faked his death for some reason. Whether you believe that or not really is not important. What is important is that the majority of the MJDHI forum do believe that. Bear that in mind while reading this post.


For those who want to translate the text in the image it is quoted below (under the terms of the 'Fair Use' doctorine):

"Welcome to Michael Jackson Death Hoax Investigators!

This is a Michael Jackson death hoax investigation website.

That is its purpose. Although Michael Jackson is loved here, and we feel aggrieved at the way much of his life has been scrutinized by those other than the people here, this was never set up as a fan based site, but one in which people are invited to forensically examine the obviously strange and discordant events of June 25th and beyond.

We are not here to find him.
We are here to speak up for someone who can't speak up for himself.
We are here to report all the shit that the mainstream media has ignored or mis reported.
We are here to support someone who needs support.
We are here to give members a platform to discuss this matter.
We are here for him and we will defend him to the bone.

We really hope you enjoy this web site, if you have any questions, please contact us.

With love,
Michael Jackson Death Hoax Investigators"

Doesn't look too crazy until you read it again. Then one sentence stands out.

"We are here to speak up for someone who can't speak up for himself."

Now remember this a forum where the majority thinks that Michael Jackson is alive. So, if he is alive why can't he speak for himself?

Let us not forget that a lot of the forum members think that Michael Jackson, himself, reads the forum. Strange that he couldn't give a flying fuck and actually comment.

Then we have the string of informers that alledgly are connected to Michael Jackson. You have TS, Front, Back, Ping, and Pong. Well maybe not the last two but give it time and they will be there I'm sure. So, why can't these informers, with all their inside information and knowledge, speak on his behalf?

They were both rhetorical questions. But the answers are: Michael Jackson doesn't read the forum which is why he has never commented. TS, Front, Back, Ping, and Pong know nothing and can't speak on behalf of sanity never mind Michael Jackson.

But the real question is this - If MJDHI doesn't think Michael Jackson is alive what is the purpose of the forum?

And while we are looking at the welcoming screen. Lets look at another sentence:

"We are here to report all the shit that the mainstream media has ignored or mis reported."

So, for the new MJDHI members that haven't actually investigated anything. Look in the archives. Souza and Mo (who was wise enough to get the hell out) worked with The Sun newspaper. Yes the same newspaper that actually came up with the phrase "Wacko Jacko".

And the final line:

"We are here for him and we will defend him to the bone."

Just ask anyone who is not brainwashed by the bullshit. Actually just look at the forum. The forum is not there for any other reason than to stroke the ego of Souza. If it was really all about Michael Jackson I'm guessing the Illuminati killing him would have caused the end of the forum.

Go look at the forum, if you want, read it, and decide for yourselves. Don't take my word for it, or the word of anyone else for that matter, investigate and discover the truth for yourself.

Michael Jackson Stamps


Last night on Twitter @DLRodarte tweeted "How come there has not been a postage stamp with MJ on it? #LOVE and #PEACE"

I knew there had been a stamp, well a collection, but just could not for the life of me remember which country had issued them. Google provided the answer. The country that issued a set of eight Michael Jackson stamps was St Vincent (a Carribean island with a population of approximately 120,000). The stamps issued in 1985 look like:


Thats about as far as the conversation went on Twitter. But I was thinking about it today; and wondering why the United States Postal Service and the Michael Jackson Estate have not thought to do a set of stamps.

According to CNN approximately 51% of all Americans are Michael Jackson fans. Approximately 151,000,000 people. If half of them collected a set of 6 stamps featuring Michael Jackson that would be $203,850,000 in sales for the United States Postal Service (6 stamps at 45c x 75,500,000); and that doesn't even include the stamp collectors that are not Michael Jackson fans.

As for the Michael Jackson Estate they could use the set of stamps as an advertisement opportunity; possibly featuring the Bad album which is in its 25 year anniversary. This would generate sales of the 25th Anniversary Bad album.

The stamps could look like this:







With the set looking like:


And surely it cannot be forgotten that Michael Jackson was a citizen of the United States; surely it wouldn't kill the United States Postal Service to work with the Michael Jackson Estate to commerate an artist who is a worldwide icon.

6/18/2012

Interviewing Homeless Dave


To many he is simply Homeless Dave. But Dave Jackson is a man on a mission. Since his return, from when he was in a coma for almost a year, he has set goals - and plans to conquer those goals one at a time. I caught up with Homeless Dave and found out about his goals.

Doggie: Almost a year and then you come back with a whole new attitude. What happened?
Dave: I was in a coma for almost a year. It makes you see the bigger picture. You take a look around and see what you would have missed had you died; and you think: Damn, why was I wasting time?
Doggie: A whole new outlook on life then?
Dave: Not really. I just see things differently. You know when Neo realizes he is the one, in The Matrix, that is kind of how I feel.
Doggie: So you think you have been chosen?
Dave: No. Just I see things differently.
Doggie: Such as?
Dave: The whole Michael Jackson death hoax possibility.
Doggie: So your opinion has changed over the last year?
Dave: Let me get one thing straight. Just because my name is Dave Jackson does not mean I'm related in any way. Look at me I'm white.
Doggie: Dave, I don't think anyone has suggested you are related.
Dave: Maybe not but I wanted to clear the matter up.
Doggie: OK. So your opinion on the hoax?
Dave: I'm not saying there is a hoax. I'm not saying Michael Jackson faked his death. And in the grand scheme of things it makes no difference to me. I mean if Michael Jackson faked his death, and he makes a comeback, he isn't going to come find me, shake my hand, and say 'Thanks for beLIEving in me Dave.' It makes no difference to him, either, if I believe or not.
Doggie: Well do you believe?
Dave: No. No I don't. I have had it with the whole hoax. I don't care anymore. It is full of egotists, the blind, and retarded people that should stop wasting oxygen.
Doggie: Whoa there Dave. You may have to expand a bit on that.
Dave: The egotists - people like Souza; running MJDHI. It could have been a great forum. It could have been the hub of the whole hoax investigation. But it is nothing more than a joke. People thinking Michael Jackson is reading their mindless crap about numerology and religion. They need to get over themselves. Michael Jackson, if he was alive, would not waste his precious time reading the fact that some Seventh Day Adventist has added every number to equal 7. And all this religion thrown into the mix. It is just a waste of time for people to read. Michael himself never chose a religion as such and looked at all religions. If he wasted his last few days, before faking his death, to make sure all the numbers matched he might as well not ever make a comeback because he has obviously lost the plot.
Doggie: The blind?
Dave: All these idiots that follow every single breadcrumb they are fed. It doesn't matter how stupid it is they follow like it is really something. The numerology falls into this category too but it is much more than that. All these people that must be on some sort of drug are leading people up the garden path. I'm no doctor but without a medical license I'd say they are on drugs. You have Pearl Jr think that anyone who joined Twitter, and is called Peter, is Michael Jackson. If you ask me ...
Doggie: That is why it is called an interview.
Dave: Anyway, if you ask me Pearl Jr is in all this for the money. I mean the woman wrote an introduction to a book which says 'goodbye' to Michael Jackson. What the Hell is all that about if she isn't in it for the money? But people are following all her 'nudge nudge wink wink' clues like they actually mean something. Every bloody tweet that woman does ends with a commercial to one of her products. She is worse than the promotional tweets Twitter puts out. At least they actually tell you they are advertising tweets.
Doggie: You still see all them?
Dave: Yeah. The client I use doesn't block them. Plus I think I followed half of them by mistake.
Doggie: I see. Back to the breadcrumbs.
Dave: Do these half-wits really think that Michael Jackson left all these clues so that he could be found? I mean seriously who would do such a thing? It is not like he is on some giant 'hide and seek' game sitting in some hotel room waiting to be found by some crack fiend. It just does not make sense. They need to stop and take a look from the outside to see how other people see them. Michael Jackson didn't plan all this so that every date to do with his entire life, up to the time he supposedly faked his death, added up to the number seven. Anyone that believes that really needs to unplug their computer, put it back in the box, and save themselves from how stupid they look.
Doggie: Dave, that is a bit harsh.
Dave: It may be harsh but it is true. If you think that you have spoke to Michael Jackson, since June 2009, on some social networking site, or on a forum, you really need to evaluate your grip on reality. Because that is why he faked his death - so he could sit in obscurity and read, and talk, about it on the Internet. Do these people realize how stupid they look to the outside world?
Doggie: Possibly not. And the wasting oxygen?
Dave: The whole hoax. Like I said it makes no difference to Michael Jackson. He doesn't give a damn. Chances are that by now people should start realizing this is no hoax and the guy is dead. Leave the guy alone. He isn't putting clues for you to find him. And all you supposed fans that tweet to his kids saying he is alive; you really think that is helping them? You really think Michael Jackson wants you to be making his kids relive the fact their father is gone; day after day?
Doggie: Well I suppose not.
Dave: Of course not. These people are sick. Throwing it in his kids faces on a daily basis. Assholes the lot of them.
Doggie: So moving away from the hoax somewhat ...
Dave: Good. Because that is one situation where the lunatics have taken over the asylum.
Doggie: What do you reckon to Britney Spears being a judge on X Factor?
Dave: I think that is a bad move. She is famous for lip-syncing her whole career. Nothing but a female version of Justin Bieber.
Doggie: Speaking of Bieber. What do you think of him copying Michael Jackson so much?
Dave: Little Canadian prick should do his own thing. I know he is Usher's little bitch and everything but he needs a trademark of his own. He doesn't want to be remembered as the talentless wonder that just stole everything.
Doggie: Dave; do you have anything nice to say about anyone?
Dave: Willie Nelson and Skrillex. Willie Nelson for those relaxing moments when you smoke. And a little bit of Skrillex to get the blood pumping before you go shoplifting.
Doggie: You know you shouldn't be an ambassador for shoplifting.
Dave: I advertise for these places when I shoplift there. It is not even really shoplifting. It is like an official payment for my advertising services.
Doggie: You can word it however you want. It is still shoplifting.
Dave: You say tomatoes I say tomatoes. You say shoplifting I say advertising.
Doggie: The tomatoes joke won't work in print.
Dave: Nor will any of the other jokes. So don't start worrying about it now.
Doggie: Any words you'd like to say to those that listen to your aimless rambling?
Dave: Do whatever you want. You wake up one morning and you want to paint yourself green and run around Walmart shouting 'I'm a Gummi Bear' I say just do it.
Doggie: That is it?
Dave: You expecting some psychological diarrhea? I'm homeless, I shoplift, and I'm as real as Sasquatch. I'm Homeless Dave not Plato.
Doggie: True. Well thanks for nothing.
Dave: You are welcome.

5/20/2012

In A Coma


For those of you that are too lazy to follow me on Twitter you may not know that it was reported that I was allegedly dead. This is not true. I never died. I have since found out this was a rumor started by Karl who was hoping to get my spot in the alley where I live. The truth is that I was in a coma. I don't know all the details because I was in coma but I can tell you what I experienced while I was in the coma.

Some of you may not want to hear what I experienced, just simply because it goes against what you think you know, but I experienced it; I went through it. If you don't want to read then don't.

When I was in a coma I experienced some really strange stuff. I felt I was dead. As my body laid there I was somehow looking down on it as I rose up in the sky. It was odd because I was shouting at people below to grab me but nobody even noticed me. As I passed through the clouds I really thought I was dead; which was quite a strange feeling. On one hand I was pissed that I was dead but on the other hand I was happy that I was heading upwards and not downwards.

After passing through the clouds I came to this city. It looked like Detroit but there was no garbage on the streets. I stood there for a few minutes, just looking at how clean and bright everything was, when some guy touched my shoulder.

I wasn't sure where I was, or whether I was alive or dead, so my first instinct was to turn around and shout "Get the fuck off me. I have no money for you." He smiled, and said, "Brother I'm just here to help you." He looked like he had a honest face so I asked him where I was.

His answer scared the shit out of me. He said I was in Heaven. I asked him if I was dead and he said that I wasn't dead I was merely resting and experiencing some kind of euphoric nirvana. I told him that I had nothing to do with Kurt Cobain; and not to judge me. He said that I wouldn't be judged for a day or two. I asked him if I was in Purgatory. He laughed and said that was just a Catholic scam; and didn't really exist.

As we walked to what he called the 'Induction Hall' we chatted. And I asked him the obvious question - So is Michael Jackson in Heaven? He looked at me, smiled, and said "Yes. It was pretty much the only way to escape the cruel world below." I mentioned that Walmart had fired me for no reason whatsoever, so I knew how cruel the world was, but he didn't seem to care.

I'm not sure how to describe the Induction Hall. Think of the DMV but with friendly people who have souls.

(At this point I'd like to mention to any DMV personnel that if I come into the DMV office not to hold that example against me.)

I took a number from the machine and joked about feeling like I was at the Deli and would order a pound of bologna when I got to the front. I looked down and the ticket was D666. I thought that was not a good thing, so I dropped the ticket and picked another, again it was D666. I must have pulled about 100 tickets and they all said D666. Then the guy said: "Pull as many tickets as you want they will all say the same. It is a ticket for you. No matter what ticket you pull it will be yours."

Now I was panicking. I'd somehow just arrived in Heaven and the first souvenir is a ticket saying D666. I might as well not wait for the judging and just jump down to Hell.

One good thing about Heaven - no waiting. As soon as I approached they called out "D666". I did hesitate at first hoping some other sucker got the same number; but I was that sucker.

I approached the desk, and this nice young lady asked me to be seated, she confirmed my name was David Jackson, and then proceeded to go through a few details. Well, to cut the boredom out of Heaven suffice to say I was assigned a hotel room until my judgement and given a complimentary bag of goodies. The bag contained a map, some phone numbers, and a few toiletries. As I was leaving the desk I apologized for the D666 ticket. The young lady smiled at me and said: "Let us hope its not a sign." It was at that point I remembered that Michael Jackson was here. I asked her which room he was in. She said that he had already been judged, and that if you stay in Heaven after your judgement you move to Paradise City. I asked if she used to be a Guns N Roses fan. No response. I asked if I could get Michael Jackson's phone number. She said no; but she could inform him that I wished to speak to him. Something to do with 'judgement waiters' could not contact those that had already been judged; but it worked the other way around.  I joked it was like trying to talk to the IRS; she didn't get that joke either.

The hotel room I got was pretty nice. Basic but nice. One tip for anyone that ends up in the 'Judgement Hotel' don't waste your time trying to select the 'adult' channels on the TV; they are blocked and a notice comes on the screen saying: "Those types of channel are blocked. If you wish to watch that sort of thing go to Hell."

I awoke the next morning feeling really refreshed. I have to admit that I almost forgot I dead; well half-dead. Now when I say half-dead I wasn't a zombie. I don't truly know how it all worked but I was in Heaven and not dead.

I was watching the weather as I ate breakfast; pondering how they knew that Fruit Loops were my favorite. Then the phone rang. It was the guy I had met the day before. He told me that there had been a cancellation and I was going to be judged today. He said he would pick me up from the hotel.

This was not good. I got dressed. I was trying to decide whether shoplifting was a crime or a sin. I didn't want to go to Hell just for surviving. OK there were a few items I took that I could have survived without; but overall it was purely survival.

I thought of all the good I had done on Earth. That lasted about two seconds.

I went down to the lobby and waited. Once again the wait was short. My friend said we would walk to the Judgement Hall. I hate walking but luckily it was only a short walk. I asked him if Jesus was going to be the one that judged me. He said Jesus doesn't judge. I said I hope it is not Judge Judy. Nothing. Seriously, Heaven needs a sense of humor.

Once in the Judgement Hall I was told to go in a room. I went in. Sitting at the front was God. I think it was God. He said he was God; but I have never seen God so I had to take his word for it.

He said that I was lucky that my judgement had been moved forward. I jokingly said that it depends where I end up. Once again nothing.

He checked that I was David Jackson and asked why I preferred to be called Dave. I told him most of the people I know have problems remembering long names. He shook his head. He then started on about whether I would like to call any witnesses. I said I'd like to call Michael Jackson seems I may never get the chance to see him otherwise. God asked me which Michael Jackson. Oh shit I never thought that Heaven would have more Michael Jacksons than Twitter. I told him the Michael Jackson known as the King of Pop. He said they had no record. I told him that I had already asked 2 people and they had confirmed that Michael Jackson was there. He asked me who I asked, I told him, and in a flash of light they were both there. God asked them if I had mentioned Michael Jackson to them. Both said I had but that I had not really been clear about which one.

God looked at me sternly and said that since the beginning of time there had been close to 4 million Michael Jacksons; and of those there were 989,734 in Paradise City. I thought about the Guns N Roses joke but decided not to mention it.

So, Michael Jackson, well the one I wanted to talk to, was not dead. This was proof that Michael Jackson was alive. This was more proof than some stupid number theory. This was more proof than Harvey Levin saying something. God himself had just told me that Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, was alive.

I interrupted God, and said that as I wasn't dead I didn't think I'd be judged. He got really angry at that. He threw his gavel at the court clerk, and was muttering under his beard. He then looked at me and said: "I'm sorry Mr David Jackson there seems to have been an error. You are right in the fact that I cannot judge you until you die. So see this as a chance to go back to Earth and spread the word."

I thanked him and told him not to worry; that I would tell everyone that God said Michael Jackson is alive. He was saying something as I left; but I didn't hear him.

I awoke from the coma. And although it had all happened in a couple of days I had actually been in Heaven almost a year. It was an odd feeling.

Well, that is my experience of Heaven. A place with no sense of humor. I don't care if anyone believes me or not I lived it (not sure lived it is the right expression for dying). And as God, and Bon Jovi say: Keep the faith!

4/22/2012

Interview Of A Lifetime

In what felt like a few pages from an Agatha Christie novel I was instructed, if I wanted the interview of a lifetime, to be at a certain place at a certain time. I was instructed to come alone; with no camera. I was instructed to be on time.

The following is the transcript from the interview that took place.

Michael Jackson: I thought you was meant to be a dog?
Saint Doggie: I thought you was meant to be dead?
Michael Jackson: I am.
Saint Doggie: So you are a ghost and all of this is some drug fueled delusion?
Michael Jackson: No silly I'm alive.
Saint Doggie: You just agreed you were meant to be dead.
Michael Jackson: Meant to be. Doesn't mean I am.
Saint Doggie: I see. So you spent the last three years perfecting some routine where you answer questions without actually answering them?
Michael Jackson: Well from what I was told you spent the last three years going from a dog, to a joker, then back to a dog. Now you call yourself a saint.
Saint Doggie: Hey. That is for tax purposes. Anyway I got a string of questions for you.
Michael Jackson: Well then ask away.
Saint Doggie: Firstly, what is with all these damn clues everywhere?
Michael Jackson: There are no clues. People will see and believe what they want.
Saint Doggie: So not one clue to say you are alive?
Michael Jackson: No. You don't fake your death to leave a trail of breadcrumbs. This is reality not some Hansel and Gretal story.
Saint Doggie: But you have to admit some clues are possible?
Michael Jackson: If I scream from the top of the tallest building in the world "777" that doesn't make it a clue; that makes it a man screaming numbers. People will see what they want.
Saint Doggie: Anyone in your family know you are alive?
Michael Jackson: The important people. The people I trust.
Saint Doggie: Your kids?
Michael Jackson: Yes.
Saint Doggie: Your Mom?
Michael Jackson: Of course.
Saint Doggie: Jermaine?
Michael Jackson: Hell no.
Saint Doggie: But he did the now infamous airport slip-up. Where he said you went to the airport.
Michael Jackson: Big deal. It is Jermaine. He wouldn't know the truth if it came up and knocked four of his teeth out.
Saint Doggie: Is Jermaine the only one who doesn't know?
Michael Jackson: Yeah. It is kind of funny. Like, at Christmas time we had this big family get together. Big dinner, singing, and dancing. Just a good old fashioned family party. Everyone had to keep it a secret from Jermaine.
Saint Doggie: So life is pretty much normal?
Michael Jackson: I would say so. I'm still hiding from the media; just now I hide from the world also.
Saint Doggie: Do you feel bad that your kids have to live this lie?
Michael Jackson: Sometimes. But they understand I did it so I could be with them.
Saint Doggie: Does it worry you that one day you may be uncovered?
Michael Jackson: (Chuckles) Yeah. That is why I agreed to do this interview.
Saint Doggie: Nobody will read it anyway.
Michael Jackson: But seriously the kids are fine about it. And so far only one mistake.
Saint Doggie: A big one?
Michael Jackson: Well Prince was at school and got into this argument. It was about who was better - Michael Jackson or Elvis. Prince obviously chose me. Then some kid started on about Elvis selling more stamps or something. Somehow the argument got heated and Prince blurted out "My Dad could kick Elvis' ass any day of the week." The other kid laughed and said "Maybe if he wasn't as dead as Elvis." So Prince retaliated "He's not dead he's alive." Quickly Paris stepped in and said that Prince was spending too much time his Uncle Jermaine; which was why he wasn't making too much sense. It was a close one for sure.
Saint Doggie: Jermaine takes the blame for a lot of things. Do you sometimes feel that it is a little unfair?
Michael Jackson: No. Mom said if it wasn't for my Dad drinking there would have been no more kids after Jermaine was born. She said he didn't want to risk another one like that. But Dad would get drinking and a few months later Mom would be praying to Jehovah that it didn't come out like Jermaine.
Saint Doggie: Understandable. Recently it was mentioned there may be a hologram of you on the Unity tour your brothers are planning.
Michael Jackson: Let me stop you right there. Tupac had the hologram on stage. I'm Michael Jackson. I don't follow I lead. There is no way I'd let them use my image to copy something that has already been done.
Saint Doggie: So no plans for something at the Unity tour?
Michael Jackson: I never said that. I just stated I wouldn't do something that has already been done. I'm an innovator.
Saint Doggie: Well kind of. Faking your death has been done. Jesus, Elvis, Jim Morrison, and Lee Harvey Oswald to name a few. It is not exactly new.
Michael Jackson: You think those people are alive?
Saint Doggie: No. Well maybe Jim Morrison. Elvis would be dead by now as he wasn't in the best of health. Jesus you have to wonder if he ever really existed. Lee Harvey Oswald would have been taken out by the CIA or KGB by now.
Michael Jackson: Didn't Lee Harvey Oswald get shot?
Saint Doggie: Didn't Michael Jackson die of a cardiac arrest?
Michael Jackson: Good point.

Suddenly Michael took a call and had to end the interview. He apologized and left.

3/02/2012

Three Years Later (Almost)

This may very well be the last post on this blog. You'll notice I say "may" because even I'm not too sure.

With the three year anniversary of the passing, rapidly approaching, of Michael Jackson (fake or not) realization has finally set in.

The purpose of this blog was always just a place for me to put my opinion somewhere so that when I am old and gray I can look back and see what the hell I was on at the time. It has never been about how many people read it. It has never been about how many people agree with me. I really, and honestly, couldn't care less if people read it; or agree with what I wrote.

But I awoke this morning, with a pretty busy schedule of things to do - programming for clients and a few other things for friends. Anyway, while I was doing this a sudden burst of realization hit me.

That realization was whether Michael Jackson faked his death or not it makes no difference to me in the long run; because of what I believe. I believe that if Michael Jackson faked his death, which I'm not 100% certain of, he is never coming back. You just don't fake your death for some 'game' leaving clues and all that shit. And if he didn't fake his death - well then he's dead anyway.

And as for all the other stuff. I've done my bit. I wrote what I felt, and eventually knew, what was going on with regards to certain people in this whole hoax investigation. I wrote it mainly as notes, but at the same time if anyone thought of looking into the hoax at this late point they would have a warning of what shit is going on.

So, as I said, this may be the last post unless something earth-shattering does happen. Maybe, and this is a long shot, Michael Jackson does make a return and proves me wrong. But I'm not holding my breath on that.

I leave one message for anyone that finds this - "Think for yourself. Don't take anyone's word for anything, including mine, look into everything. Because the second you stop questioning you become a sheep."

And for those wondering ...Look for a MJDHI forum account that was deleted yesterday ... LOL

2/17/2012

Real Forum Information


Before I start this post, and the real content I am going to list everything you'll need to play along at home.

Hardware:

An old PC (1Ghz CPU, 1GB RAM, 2TB RAID 0 Hard Drive) - it is a dinosaur but any computer will do.

Software:

XAMPP (PHP, Apache, phpMyAdmin) - available here.
SMF Forum - available here.
PHPBB3 Forum - available here.
Windows XP (although any Operating System will do; such as OSX, Linux)
Firefox 10 (although any web browser will do; Chromium (not Chrome) being a better option.

Install Procedure:

Install XAMPP.
Use phpMyAdmin to create two databases (smf & bb3 were used).
Install SMF.
Install phpBB3.

That is pretty much it. There is a little more to the installation but that gives you the order. What you now have is a pair of locally hosted forums. Which for test purposes is fine. If you was doing this on a web host forget the XAMPP; and secure everything better than the standard install.

Note: Click images for clearer details - such as dates, names, descriptions, etc.

Now, the reason for this post. I was involved in a discussion last night and the topic came up of a certain admin of a forum changing things. Some involved in the discussion suggested that if anything was changed then the post would show an "edited by" statement.

I explained as the admin you can do it without it showing; which some did not believe. So this post shows how to change things without it showing. Which also shows why nothing on a forum can be taken to be true.

Firstly, in SMF, I created a post predicting various things which I knew would happen:


Nothing groundbreaking there; as all events were known when the post was created.

I then went in to phpMyAdmin


This is the database running behind SMF. The table in the database is smf_messages (although called messages it is posts; and private messages is called smf_personal_messages). In the above screen shot you will see a field called poster_time; this is the time the post was created.

Most wont realise that 1329487838 is what is commonly called a 'unix timestamp' and actually means Friday, February 17, 2012 2:10 PM.

So to amaze the world all you need to do is actually change the poster_time field to an earlier date; I chose Friday, December 31, 1999 11:59 PM.


Now we have something pretty amazing looking. Anyone stumbling across the forum will think that in 1999 I predicted the 4 events with pinpoint accuracy; even though I didn't.

I then went through the procedure with phpBB3 doing the same thing.



Note the only differences are the table is phpbb_posts and the field is post_time. I changed it this time to Saturday, July 7, 2007 7:07 AM.


Only 2 years (almost) before the first prediction; but still anyone stumbling on it would think it pretty cool that it was predicted so accurately.

And that is the point. Just because it is on a forum doesn't make it factual.

Unfortunately it doesn't stop there. In the discussion from the previous night private messages were mentioned. And once again I was the bearer of bad news and said if you don't trust the admin then don't use private messages.

Here, briefly, is why.


The message was composed like any other private message. But when the admin logs into phpMyAdmin they see everything; and can change everything also.



The admin sees the message, sender, recipient(s), subject, and time sent. And yes, you guessed it, the admin of the forum can change all of those without anyone knowing; except maybe the original sender if they pay enough attention. But then how does the original sender prove it was changed; surely they didn't bother to screen grab the message composition.

And the same thing can happen in SMF.


Now people can believe this if they want. But if you don't believe it download all the software needed and try it out for yourself. After all it is better to investigate these things than just take a person's word for it.

If you are going to try it out for yourself the online timestamp converter comes in handy; and can be found here.

Note: All of the above was completed in an insecure test environment; but can be completed just as easily on a live database/forum setup.

2/12/2012

Front Is Who?


I was asked to do this post. So here it is.

The image below was originally just thrown up over at my TwitPic account; and can still be seen there.


Which was accompanied by the following text:

"MJDHI members wake up! ... Front posts "Front has stated many times" ... Surely Front would post "I have stated many times" ... When are the MJDHI members going to wake from the mind games; or is the truth not important enough that they will continue the masquerade because they foolishly believe in the BS???"

Then someone on Twitter sent me a direct message asking if I would put it up on the blog as a lot of MJDHI members seem to go there. So here it is.

I will, while I put it up, expand on my comment that accompanied the image which is a screenshot for the 'official' Back & Front thread over at MJDHI. The screenshot, was grabbed from the forum and, can be seen by anyone that goes there. If you enlarge the screenshot (by clicking it) the problem becomes clear.

In a post, that was posted allegedly by Front, it clearly states: "Front has stated many times". Why would Front ever refer to himself in the third person? Surely the correct method to reiterate that a person, themselves, has said something before would be "I have stated many times"?

Now I know the MJDHI members who read this are going to disagree; and suggest that Front merely put it to emphasise that it was something they have said before. But that doesn't work unless Front thinks that the MJDHI members are stupid and cannot realise that when Front uses the term "I" they are obviously referring to themselves. Hey, if you want to argue that Front spoke in the third person for a reason you need to back it up with some form of rational argument.

But that is not the biggest issue. After posting the original image I wondered about something else.

With Front obviously being someone else on the forum (you can work that bit out for yourselves by asking the Admin) then the validation of Front from TS is actually invalid; and ultimately worthless.

Because if Front is not who they say they are, which is pretty clear, then TS validates a fraud - making TS a fraud; or at the very least wrong about Front.

Now, the MJDHI members who read this are going to start with the "Why do you care? If you don't believe it then don't read it" argument. And to be honest I couldn't give a flying fuck who people think TS, Front, or back are. And I would not have done this post if not requested by a friend.

And why did the friend request it? Because they feel that some of the younger members of the forum might actually be buying into this bullshit; which since Fuhrer Souza found religion is turning into some sort of fucking Charles Manson wannabe cult.

Me personally, I just think that all the members should just keep their eyes open; and decide for themselves. If you want to buy into the bullshit then so be it.

So this post is dedicated to friendship; but at the same time as the Kottonmouth Kings say: "Think 4 Yourself".

2/10/2012

E-Books Coming Soon


Doggy Productions (aka the person who does this blog and not a real company) will release 2 e-books this year. Both e-books are concerning the Michael Jackson death hoax; well more what has been happening behind the scenes since June 25, 2009.

Although at present there is no confirmed release date for either e-book; details for both are already confirmed.


The first e-book is entitled "Dead: Did A Lack Of Investigating Kill The Hoax?". This will be the first e-book released this year and is written entirely by me. The fact it is written by me alone is why there is no release date set in stone; as I have to fit it in around life, work, and other things.

The premise of the e-book is looking at what has gone wrong in the hoax; and why it is in the state that it is in.


The second e-book is entitled "Inside MJDHI", Which is not being written by me, and will look at MJDHI from the inside - from the point of view of an ex-moderator.

Using clear screenshots, of the forum, chat, and other sources it will provide insight that only someone who was part of it can have. It will chronicle the backstabbing, the lies, and the deception that has taken the forum from an investigative forum to what is considered by many as a mere joke.

I am collaborating on this e-book; adding humorous commentary and assisting with screenshots and information from the forum databases. This e-book release is pretty much out of my hands as far as a date goes as the majority of it is being created by someone else.

Both e-books, when ready, will be available for FREE download, and will be announced, here once they are completed. Also the release of each e-book will be announced on Twitter from the @d0gg1e account.

2/07/2012

See You In 4 Years ... Maybe


This idea may have been discussed elsewhere. If so I don't remember seeing it exactly anywhere. But if it has, my apologies for repeating something already discussed.

In the footage from "This Is It", which was supposedly filmed up until June 24, 2009; Michael Jackson is quoted as saying "We have four years to get it right." Now admittedly at the time he was speaking about the Earth's destruction and stopping it. But was he?

I know previously it has been discussed, by others, that this somehow tied in with the Mayan prophecy of the end of the world.

Those previous discussions fail on two counts. Firstly 2009 plus 4 years would give a year of 2013; which would be one year late. Secondly, the Mayan prophecy is not a prophecy. December 21, 2012 is the end of an era in the Mayan, linear, calendar. Some scholars dispute the accuracy of December 21, 2012 due to the fact of changes in the calenders used by the western world.

But what if, and it is a hypothetical if with no real basis outside pure coincidence, Michael Jackson's statement about 4 years was a message to Conrad Murray; to complete his part in the hoax?

The idea is slightly out there as ideas go. And in all honesty coincidence is the most likely answer; more than anything else. But as a hypothetical theory only the idea has a sound basis.

Sometime in June 2009 - Michael Jackson makes a statement about 4 years. Nowhere else does is this statement made by Michael Jackson. Yes, he made statements about saving the planet but never with any sort of timescale.

June 25, 2009 - The hoax plan is put into action.


October 28, 2009 - This Is It is released in theaters.


September 27, 2011 - The trial of Conrad Murray starts; where he is charged with the involuntary manslaughter of Michael Jackson.


November 7, 2011 - Conrad Murray is found guilty of the involuntary manslaughter of Michael Jackson.


November 29, 2011 - Conrad Murray was sentenced to 4 years.


October 28, 2013 - Conrad Murray's expected release date (not taking into account an appeal, or time off for good behavior) (which is also the 4 year anniversary of the release of This Is It).

So here is the theory, which really has no basis other than coincidence.

Michael Jackson and Conrad Murray had discussed the hoax and at some point had enlisted the help of Ed Chernoff for the legal aspects. Conrad Murray gets 'cold feet', even though the expected pay-off is more than enough to set him up for life; and needs a little convincing. Knowing that "This Is It" will be released after the hoax has been pulled off Michael Jackson throws the 4 year bit in as a reminder to Conrad Murray of why he is going through all the hassle of being classed as 'the man who killed the King Of Pop'.

Admittedly, as theories go, it has no sound basis; and as previously stated relies heavily on coincidence. But there are a couple of facts which can be tied in with the theory.

As stated before, why mention 4 years? It does not tie in with all the apocalyptic predictions that the world will end in 2012.

In the transcript of the L.A.P.D. interviewing Conrad Murray on June 27, 2009, with Ed Chernoff present, it does appear that Ed Chernoff knows a lot more about medical terms relating to the case than he should after only 2 days. This is only odd, as he has never completed a medical court case like that presented to him through Conrad Murray.

Also, and finally, why did Conrad Murray feel it necessary to make a documentary? Was it merely so that the 'whole' hoax is documented. Which does somewhat tie in with why all the rehearsal footage was hot in High Definition. A full history of the hoax.

So there you have it. A theory with no basis, and a little bit out there, that relies solely on coincidence and supposition.

2/03/2012

The Cult Of Dog


It seems any crackpot, crackhead, or just plain weird person can start a religious cult on the back of the Michael Jackson death hoax. So without further ado I present "The Cult Of Dog".


The Cult Of Dog is based on nothing from the Bible but the one passage:

"And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and her angels, And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven. And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Dutchie, and Souza, which deceiveth the whole world: she was cast out into the earth, and her angels were cast out with her." (BITT Revelation 12:7-9)

You will notice that the above passage is not in any other Bible; other than the Believe In Thinking Translation; which is owned and copyrighted by The Cult Of Dog. This Bible is based on the King James Version; and then just altered to fit particular beliefs.

The first thing that is noticed in the BITT Bible is that there is no God. This position has been taken by Joe Jackson's father; Samuel Jackson. Who creates Joe and Katherine to populate the world; and give the world the one true saviour Michael Jackson. Another thing usually noted is that the character Jesus Of Nazareth has been replaced by Michael Of Indiana.

The BITT Bible has also dropped the whole of Psalms. Replacing it with the book of Tracks - which lists all of the tracks of Michael Jackson.

Another thing instantly noticed by biblical scholars is that the traditional ten commandments have been replaced. They read as:

  • I am the King of Pop, which have brought thee out of the land of Country music, out of the house of Opera.
  • Thou shalt have no other pop idols before me.
  • Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of me, without the consent of the MJ estate.
  • Thou shalt not bow down to false pop idols; such as Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, or Miley Cyrus.
  • Thou shalt not take the name of the King of Pop in vain.
  • Remember the time. Six days shalt thou labor but the seventh day is party.
  • Honor thy father and mother; unless your father be like mine.
  • Thou shalt not kill my songs at karaoke.
  • Thou shalt not commit adultery or you will be forever known as Jermaine.
  • Thou shalt not steal my music in MP3 format.
  • Thou shalt not bear false witness against Conrad Murray.
  • Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's platinum, gold, and silver discs.
  • These are the words of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop. Let them be known to every hoaxer.

Another thing often noticed by biblical scholars is that Mary Of Magdalene has gone and is replaced by Lisa Marie Of Memphis. There is talk of a separate church starting which puts Lisa Marie on a higher plain and also the founder of the Elvisite Nuns; this has not been confirmed yet so should not be considered canonical to the BITT Bible.

Every religion needs something which is a gray area. The King James Bible has the apocrypha. The BITT Bible has the "Writings Of Jermaine" which although very close to reality obviously attempts to alter the story in some way.

Another thing that every religion needs is beliefs; other than those outlined in the new ten commandments. Praying to Michael will only take place on social networks. You may chose who you wish to be your Michael Jackson. This is not blasphemy because the real Michael Jackson, after reading all the forums, spends his holy time checking Twitter and Facebook. It is however considered  blasphemy to openly pray on MySpace as nobody will ever see it.

That is kind of all the rules. As for everything else - if it is not mentioned in the Bible you are free to decide.

Taking a lead from the Manson family, and Charlie himself, it is expected for all members of The Cult Of Dog to mark themselves in some way. So nobody is hurt a pen marking will suffice.

Now, for my part. Every religion, no matter how crazy, needs a figurehead. So I will appoint myself as the first 'Pope-like' figure of The Cult Of Dog. Which is only fitting as I am the dog in The Cult Of Dog.

BITT Bibles will available in many languages and many formats real soon.


Amen.

Legal Notice: This whole post is nothing more than a satirical stab at the bullshit that is going on over at the MJDHI forum. It is merely a joke and not a religion. That is not to say that some religions are not jokes but that is a whole different post.

1/17/2012

Looking At Logic

The Michael Jackson death hoax has been full of alleged clues which just blow the standard term of logic completely out of the water.

I started this post because a Twitter user, @appleheadlives, said to me:

"@Pearljr @d0gg1e @MJHOAXLIVE @peterpanpyt already posted that video saying "this is not me" so you're logic makes so sense.Pearl is right"

For those not following along at home - this is because Pearl Jr thinks that Twitter user @PeterPanPYT because he  joined Twitter on June 24, 2009 and sounds a little bit like Michael Jackson. Well when I disputed this Pearl Jr said I should 'RESEARCH'. Which to me was highly humorous as I already had. I did voice analysis on PeterPanPYT and Michael Jackson - and surprisingly they don't match (according to FBI standards of analysis). I haven't posted my analysis simply because the RESEARCH that I do is for my own personal use. As I have said many times this blog is merely an opinion; I don't give answers. I prefer that people do that themselves so that they can say they did look into something and got the answer themselves instead of just being told. Anyway, that is some of the history behind the tweet from @appleheadlives.

Now the logic 'argument' comes from the fact that there is a Youtube video pertaining to be PeterPanPYT. So i threw a link up on Twitter to said video. Is it PeterPanPYT? I really don't know; nor do I care as simply PeterPanPYT is not Michael Jackson as far as I am concerned. But PeterPanPYT denied that it was him in the video so it is obviously not him. And because he denied it this has been accepted.

But wait. This is where the fun and games really begin. PeterPanPYT also denied being Michael Jackson. But, according to Pearl Jr, we cannot believe that one. Why? Simple. Because it does not fit the theory that she is currently putting out there. I say currently, because last year she was so sure that the Leahcim video was definitely Michael Jackson.

So this is where 'logic' has a problem. If you accept one denial as a lie, surely if the person is thought to be lying then obviously any other statement made by the same person must be considered a lie? Logically if you think a person has lied before why believe that they are all of a sudden going to tell the truth?

That is the basis of logic. Logic follows a set pattern. If it does not follow a set pattern it becomes what is classed as 'fuzzy logic'; or on a slightly more extreme level may be considered 'chaotic logic'.

But let us not just look at logic. Let us look at the underlying reasons of why logic is being thrown out with the garbage to ensure that a theory remains.

Does anyone have anything to gain from PeterPanPYT being Michael Jackson?

PeterPanPYT obviously doesn't. I mean if, and it is just a hypothetical if, PeterPanPYT is Michael Jackson then why go to the bother of faking your death just to be discovered on Twitter? Logic once again means this doesn't make sense.

I have nothing to gain from PeterPanPYT being, or not being, Michael Jackson. As I have already said I am 100% sure he is not. So it makes no difference to me.

Pearl Jr on the other hand tweeted yesterday about Pseudocide 2 being written. Which will obviously be for sale. I'm not getting into the whole "Should Pearl Jr sell research obtained purely from the Internet" argument which was abound after the first Pseudocide was released. But it does indicate she has an agenda to keep the hoax death of Michael Jackson alive with various 'clues' for Pseudocide 2 to sell.

So when people start throwing terms like "logic" and "research" around. Don't just go with it. Stop. Think. And question everything. Because if you believe that Michael Jackson faked his death then someone, somewhere, is obviously lying their ass off. And the only person who can determine who, in all this mess of a hoax, is lying is - YOU.

1/10/2012

To Believe Or Not To Believe


Shakespeare is dead; and has been for a few hundred years so the world can steal and fuck his quotes over however they wish.

To believe or not to believe the bullshit that is undergone at the Nazi HQ known as MJDHI. Well, the obvious answer is to not believe anything that falls out the cesspit of the whole hoax.

Front, Back, or Bec, or whoever is claiming to be the insider this week along with the everlasting TS is the official 'inside' voice of the Michael Jackson death hoax? Really? Because I swear to some God that when Front and Back first started the Admin of MJDHI and Bec were so certain that I was Front or Back because we both used the word "Atlas".

But no that has been forgotten now and because Souza and her new pussy-licking bitch Bec have said so Front or Back is actually an insider that knows what is going on. Hang on. Knows what is going on? Is Backwards actually Jackie Jackson? It could be. Hell it might even be Larry King - he's not exactly busy anymore.

What happened to all the other certainties? What happened to the whole "Where The Wild Things Are" theory? What happened to the "Double Bam" theory? Did that canceled because Elvis is in Las Vegas? What happened to the "Twin" theory? What happened to the "Dog Autopsy" theory?

All of these supposed 'on the money' theories are lost in the annals of hoax history because they were nothing more than guesses.

So why are the members of MJDHI so willing to believe that a few fucked up cryptic bullshit quotes and redirects mean anything? Because if they don't they get belittled by the Admin followed by Bec, still liking her lips after licking Souza's ass, and then all the people that will blindly follow these cunts without questioning anything.

Why has none of the members ever asked TS, Front, or Back to just say something in clear English which has not happened, and is not already common knowledge among Michael Jackson fans, that will happen. Come on, surely one of these three insiders can give a clear answer to something that will happen.

Just to give them a helping hand here is the layout that can be used:

DATE: (The exact date of a forthcoming event - after all they are an insider they should know.)
TIME: (OK The time might be difficult - lets make it easy and leave it in Dutch time.)
EVENT: (The exact details of the event. Not something like "An album will be released." And make sure you name where it will take place exactly and who will be there.)
TIME OF POST: (The time they posted it to the forum - so when it is found on the Internet from 3 days ago it can be proven.)

That is not too much to ask. Come on. Supposedly these mental patients are insiders to the biggest hoax in the world. A simple exclusive of an event, with specific details not available anywhere on the 'net, shouldn't be such a hard a thing. And having it in plain English shouldn't be too much to ask. No cryptic bullshit where you have to divide the number of times Bec has dreamed of licking Souza out by the number of times Souza has logged in as people other than herself. Just plain English.

But it won't happen. Why? Because these cum-guzzling sacks of shit know nothing more than anyone else. Don't believe me? Disagree with them and watch how fast you get banned or belittled by the Nazi bitch Admin and her cunt-licking sheep Bec.

And the reason you can't ask questions? Because these lying sacks of shit can't back up anything they say. Not a thing. Nothing they have said was not common knowledge already. And all the numerical mind-fuckery is just that. Look at the mathematical bullshit TS keeps spewing out - the equation changes to fit the answer. If it was all some numerical quest the one constant would be the equation not the answer.

Follow this shit if you want. After all who am I to say what is wrong? But seriously while you read the drivel of supposed 'insider information' at least look at it with an open mind; and not just take what is being forced down your throats as gospel.