Adolf Hitler Speaks About The Hoax

Continuing the series in famous, and infamous, guest authors we have Adolf Hitler ...


Nein, nein, nein Michael Jackson ist nicht tot ... Oh you want this in English? OK let me start again.

Hello, my name is Adolf Hitler. Some of you may remember me from World War II. Let me get one thing straight; well maybe two things. Firstly, I am the Furher that you are thinking of. Secondly I too faked my death. The bunker - no body. It was just a cover story. I turned witness for the allied forces at Nuremberg and made sure that the real crazy, sick, people, my commanders, were all punished for their insubordination which you consider war crimes.

I am really not as bad as the press made me out to be. They only showed you what they wanted you to see. When I was at the synagogue soup kitchen serving meals to the Jewish people the press was nowhere to be seen.

I have followed the hoax for the last 15 months and I am not sure if it is a hoax or not. Many things do not add up in my mind. There are various things which do not make sense to me. But I see things differently to many others.

Why would Michael Jackson allow some of the things to be said to go unpunished? Jason Pfieffer, the bastard child of Arnie Klien, alleges in his propaganda that he was the homosexual lover of Michael Jackson. Why does Michael Jackson not step out of the shadows and ensure that Jason Pfieffer is sent to the gas chambers where he belongs?

Also, why is Michael Jackson allowing his ugliest brother, Jermaine, to keep making plans for tributes? With Jermaine's involvement these are guaranteed to fail. I caught a couple of episodes of the Jackson Dynasty and in my opinion Jermaine whined, and cried, like a bitch. It kind of reminded me of Eva when I said we would die together. She took the pill and I did not. She complained for a whole four minutes before the pill took effect.

I have been reading the forums and blogs on the Internet concerning the hoax. I do not understand how the admins of MJDHI can be classed as Nazis. Yes, they are rude to people and very controlling. And yes they spread their own twisted propaganda in their spam campaigns. But they are Dutch, and lesbians, this would never have been allowed. Please stop ruining the good name of the Nazis by associating it with this worthless garbage. The Nazis are not as bad as the lesbians, with their gay clown, we are proud people and would not degrade ourselves to such a low level as MJDHI.

This is why I have my doubts about this all being a hoax. Michael Jackson allows all this bullshit to go on. I would never tolerate such things. If he is alive he should come forth and put all the liars, imposters, and rumor spreaders to death. You cannot allow insubordination to go unpunished - you must nip it in the bud.

But then other details make me think that Michael Jackson is alive. Death certificates. He has three. I killed many more people and I don't even have a single death certificate.

The autopsy report bothers me. An important medical document is given to the media and nobody is put to death for this breach of privacy. Maybe it is because the coroner, and some of his most trusted staff, are aware that the autopsy report is fake and that it was merely released to the press as propaganda.

Also, the expert who documented the drugs is an expert in Native American remains. With all the people in Los Angeles they could not find a drug expert to work on the autopsy of Michael Jackson? This part is really suspicious. The SS would never have allowed such obvious details to be incorrect. Many heads would have rolled if such an erroneous mistake was made.

But then Joe Jackson, a good friend of my friend Brian Oxman, has been allowed to pursue a wrongful death lawsuit against Conrad Murray. If the only proof they have is the autopsy report I see this failing. The autopsy report has many inaccuracies which a good defence lawyer will pick over. I suggest Brian Oxman goes on a smear campaign and ruins the good name of Conrad Murray. As my old friend Goering used to say: "If you paint a picture of a monster then people will see a monster."

As you can see with just the few details I have written about it is enough to make a Fuhrer's head spin. I don't know 100% either way if it is a hoax or not. But if it is not a hoax then Michael Jackson will live forever through his music, his influence, and his legacy.

Sieg Heil.

Cuss Count: Really Low

Legal Notice: Allowing Adolf Hitler to be a guest author in no way means that his views are supported. As this is obviously satire none of it should be taken seriously.