Christmas Is Here

Well, in actual fact it is just around the corner. And with that in mind is it time to start ending various things that are in the world.

Let us start with the fur trade. What sort of person really wants to wear the fur of an animal that was slaughtered just so they can get a nice fur lining on some piece of clothing? I mean, 50 years ago, the Nazis were making lampshades out of human skin and were classed as barbarians. What really gives mankind the right to slaughter an animal just for its fur? I mean the leather industry is fine - as McDonalds is going to make sure all the cows get killed any way so it is more of a by-product. But there is nobody eating an angora rabbit burger. Anyone seen wearing fur, fake or real, deserves to be covered in red paint.

Next; the Jehovah Witnesses. What the hell sort of Christian religion does not celebrate Christmas? Seriously, It is because Jesus was allegedly born in the Summer and therefore December is the wrong month. But does it matter if you celebrate the birth of the saviour of mankind in July or December? Surely as God-fearing Christians celebrating his son's birth is a good thing. These miserable bastards won't even celebrate their own birthday. Why not? Is it such a bad thing to celebrate Jehovah keeping you alive one more year? Even the Amish celebrate birthdays and them poor bastards have no electric, telephone, or television.

Movie remakes. Why? And who gets paid for these? It is not like anybody had to actually do any thinking. Just watch a movie from the seventies or eighties and shoot it again with different actors. But it isn't just that movie remakes are pointless; they are never as good as the original. The Omen, first created in 1976, and then remade in 2006 is a prime example of why movies should not be remade. The original was a horror based on atmosphere and suspense. The remake was an abortion in comparison; it totally lost the point of the original. A Nightmare On Elm Street is another great example. The original from 1984, starring Robert Englund, was a classic. Then in 2010 they remake it, without Robert Englund, without the wit and sarcasm of Freddy, and they just ruin it. They even spend nearly 15 minutes proving that Freddy was burned alive for being a pedophile. Nobody cares why Freddy was burned alive. It is not real; otherwise Freddy would of died in the fire.

Governments. What is the point? Governments do nothing but waste money and fuck things up. Looking at the U.S. you have two federal departments BCP (Border & Customs Patrol) and ICE (Immigration & Customs Enforcement) doing the same job by their department names. If BCP are patrolling the borders and doing customs surely they don't need ICE doing customs too? Its an overlap; it is a reason to throw money away. And by the media reports neither department is doing that great at what they are meant to be doing. If the government was a company that actually answered to shareholders and the like it would have been liquidated years ago. There is so much overlap in the U.S. government that nobody is doing anything because they all think someone else in a different department is doing their job. And it isn't just the U.S. government; the U.K. government is closing Unemployment Offices while unemployment rises. Shows just how much the government know, and care, when the people who need them get shafted. And then these politicians wonder why they only last 4 years in office.

People pretending to be homeless. And we are not talking about Homeless Dave who is a mere character. We are talking about the scum that go out on a daily basis pretending to be homeless and begging for cash from strangers. It is time for these fuckers to be arrested and charged for fraud. Because some people give to these fakes and then the real homeless people, the ones that really need help, miss out. These fake homeless people are worse than prostitutes; at least when you see a prostitute on the street you know she really is a prostitute and not some con artist who is only pretending to have sex for cash. And for those wondering you can usually tell the prostitutes by the way they walk - just imagine John Wayne.

Criminals. Nearly everyone at some time breaks the law. But you have a select that continually break the law and are in and out of jail and prison their whole life. There should be a cut-off point. Break the same law three times and you are executed in a public place while the public look on. Watch the crime rate drop.

Political correctness has to go. You can't say anything without offending someone. You can't say Merry Christmas because you may offend someone who doesn't celebrate. You cant say people are fucking stupid you have to be polite and say they are mentally challenged. Sorry, but if the worse thing that happens in your life is that someone says you are fucking stupid - your life will be fine without a bunch of soft bastards worried that someone may actually say what they think.

Christmas may be the season to be jolly but under no terms does it say it is the season we give up the right to think and say what we think.

I'm going to end this post with a famous Christmas quote: "Bah! Humbug."

Hoaxer Christmas Gifts

Fuck searching eBay for Christmas presents for the hoaxer in your life. Now exclusively from MJHDC productions a selection of gifts are available. All orders placed before December 22 will be shipped in time for Christmas no matter what corner of the world you live in.




The Foam Finger: Tired of supporting your team to see some over-paid asshole fuck up on the field and lose the match for nothing? Well now you can support Souza and Mo as they take to the battlefields. Who will win? Who knows or cares? But you can show your support for either side with this giant 'Flip The Foam' finger. So fuck off Souza and fuck off Mo; support who the fuck you want for just $29.95


The TS Calculator: Confused by the Souza/TS/TIAI posts and how they worked that shit out? No longer do you need to worry as no matter what number you press on this 'unofficial official TS calculator' the answer will always be 7; or a derivative of 7 such as 777. Hoaxing clues will no longer baffle you as you look like Albert Einstein on crack with this unofficial official TS calculator. Yours for the low, low, price of $7.77


Rosetta Stone (Mauraish): Are you a hoaxer that doesn't live in a gutter? Are you confused by the crazy fucked up ebonics that Maura spouts out of her mouth? Fear no more. MJHDC in association with Rosetta Stone present Mauraish levels 1 - 5. By the time you have finished this world class software course you will be able to speak like Maura; and be able to back track anything you say without making sense. Michael's message has never been so fucking filthy. Yours for the steal of a price $49.99


The MJ Dildo: Finished talking to Michael on Twitter, Facebook, or Myspace? Why does it have to end there? Now with this exclusive sex toy it doesn't have to. Plug it into the USB port of your computer and whenever that fake MJ on Twitter, Facebook, or Myspace types "hee hee" you'll feel the pulsations of joy rush through your body. This gift is 100% fun and then some. Styled in the colors vitiligo to guarantee that 'authentic' experience. Just $29.99

Peace.

Cuss Count: Semi-High

Legal Notice: None of these products really exist and have nothing to do with the companies they may look like they represent. This post is satire; but if you didn't realize that just make your checks payable to MJHDC and send them to the first address you think of.

Merry Fucking Christmas

Over at the Michael Jackson Death Hoax Investigators forum (aka Mo & Souza's forum, aka the NEW MJKit forum aka MJHD Redirect) Souza posts a welcome to:

• Silverfish (aka Fuckfish)
• Daydream (aka Nightmare)
• Biscuit (aka Goldielocks)
• Purple 7
• Starfox (aka Starfuck)
• KLHayes (aka LoveTheGlove aka ShoveTheGlove)

So everyone is now one big happy family again. What fucking Christmas spirits have you been drinking Souza? Have you been at Five's medicinal whiskey?

You are going to invite the same people that supported, and stood by, Amy when you were banned from MJHD? Which brings the question - was you even banned; or is that all part of this elaborate hoax that is being built up around the forums?

Finally the whole scenario is starting to make sense. Its like reading the plot outline of a Dan Brown novel; just when you think you are starting to understand everything the priest that everyone trusted turns out to be the Illuminati member.

The Plot

Act I

Auntie Amy starts a website on the hoaxed death of Michael Jackson even though later she will admit to not even being a fan. Also the creation date will be brought into question - either because it was created before the hoaxed death or Auntie Amy used some creative coding to ensure that it would look like it was.

Act II

Auntie Amy introduces, Wordpress, Paypal donations, and Google adsense. Due to the members joining not being as high as Auntie Amy had hoped for she starts to create members to create interest, drama, intrigue. Unfortunately some people get caught up in this produced hype and start believing that MJHD is bigger than Michael himself, believing that MJHD is the new center of the universe.

Act III

After a few randomly created members (JCC, PeterPanPYT etc etc etc) claim to know Michael, speak on his behalf, and create drama things start going wrong for Auntie Amy. All hell is breaking lose on the forum. Some people just don't believe all these crackheads claiming to be somehow connected to Michael. A new sub-plot starts to emerge.

Act IV

In the dark of night, huddled around computers, the new sub-plot is formulated, and tweaked until it is ready. It is a great plot, it is almost believable; had it not been for the fact that people were already questioning things. Action needed to be taken, and fast, and Auntie Amy introduces the feared ARMY OF MODERATORS. Their task is an easy one:

• Control the forum, do not allow people to wander off into their own theories.
• Ensure that the Illuminati do not get mentioned.
• If anyone questions my motives, or my reasoning, ban them instantly.
• Lock any topic which does not conform to the thinking of the Admin.

And so began the reign of the AMY'S ARMY.

Act V

The real members started to get pissed about their friends being banned, their own topics being locked or deleted, and things just not being right. Auntie Amy sensed this and to make sure the revolution did not happen, she banned Souza & Mo - not once but twice; just for dramatic effect. It proved to the members that were ready to revolt that nobody was safe; step out of line and you will be crushed by the fury of Auntie Amy.

Act VI

Many of the real members saw this not as a warning, but as a step too far. Anarchy broke out throughout MJHD. People were opening forums and blogs to express their anger, disbelief, feelings about the whole situation. Auntie Amy trembled in her piss-soaked diaper as she realized that she was slowly losing control of the members - she takes MJHD offline to punish them.

Act VII

MJKit is formed by Souza as a backup to MJHD. Just in case Auntie Amy loses it and takes MJHD down again. Members from MJHD start to leave for MJKit, preferring it's more relaxed style. As members leave, and traffic at the website goes down, Auntie Amy creates more and more fictitious members (like a mad scientist cloning in the hopes of creating a forum conquering army).

Act Act VIII

ThisIsAlsoIt is introduced. The sequel (that was never announced by Sony) would redirect people to MJHD then a whole host of other lame clues. This would be the saving grace, this would be Auntie Amy's golden goose, this would become so popular she wouldn't have time for MJHD. Auntie Amy, Fuckfish, Nightmare, and a few mods sit one night and create John Smith - the savior of the MJHD, who will give the members hope, and then crash their hopes along with the database.

Act IX

A new tyrant is unleashed upon MJHD. Fuckfish is somehow in all the confusion allowed to be the Admin of MJHD. Ruling with an iron fist he continues to ban topics, suggest that Michael Jackson is not sexy to the female members, and show photos of his greasy head on a blog. While Fuckfish is so busy protecting his greasy ass from all the hassle that he is creating the final plot starts to hatch. This one will be the Armageddon plot. This one will be the apocalypse of MJHD.

Act X

MJHD is put up for sale. Fuckfish being the fearless leader spills his guts on how it was all Auntie Amy's idea; and ultimately fault. He admits, in a last ditch attempt to save his own ass, that he lied to support Auntie Amy. ThisIsAlsoIt is rising in popularity, pointing to all that follow it that the Illuminati is the connection. Then just when things cannot get any worse they do. Badkolo buys MJHD and redirects it to Souza & Mo's forum; using the exact HTML that ThisIsAlsoIt uses. MJKit's new forum redirects to Mo & Souza's forum. The apocalypse is taking shape. A press release is released by MJHDConspiracy: "Believe in MJHD, MJkit, and Mo and Souza, because they hold all your forums now. They hold all your work, your thoughts, your ideas, and if you piss of one of these tyrants the MJ-Illuminati elite will ensure you never post on a forum again. V for Vendetta my ass. It is not taking a government over it is standing up for what you believe and ensuring your voice is heard. Ask questions, expect answers, and always look at the creation of these sites in the same way that you look at the hoaxed death."

Act XI - The final Act

Auntie Amy takes a bow, her work is done, she now has complete control. She now is sitting where she wants. She is in control, but no longer in the position where she is open for questioning. She smiles. She adjusts her diaper. As she leans away from her Mac computer she laughs an eerie laugh.

But it is not over, the acting, the illusions, the hoax within a hoax continues.

As my good friend Ebeneezer would say "Bah Humbug!"

Peace.