Michael Jackson Is Dead

Yes, you read the title correctly; and no you didn't just wake up in 2009.

Many believe that Michael Jackson faked his death on June 25, 2009. But two and half years later it is difficult to see it still as some kind of hoax; or game.

Let us be honest here, for a while, no matter what your belief in the situation is and admit that dying has been good business for Michael Jackson and the whole Jackson family.  According to the prosecution in the Conrad Murray case Michael Jackson would have made approximately $100 million. And since his death, up to June 2011, he, or his estate depending on your view, has earned over $1 billion.

So with profits like that it is no wonder Michael Jackson may have faked his death. But whether he did or did not is beside the point.

Looking at a couple of the theories that exist that suggest Michael Jackson faked his death; nothing adds up.

Death threats is one reason that is always thrown in to the pot as to why Michael Jackson may have faked his death. But that was two and a half years ago. If the threat hasn't gone by now it never will and therefore if he did fake his death he is never going to come out of hiding.

Witness Protection is another option that is always put out when considering Michael Jackson hoaxed his death. Two and a half years of protection for what? Witness protection is so you can testify against some major crime. That hasn't happened.

And the final option is that Michael Jackson faked his death to simply cash in and clear his debts. Well, if that is the case he better never come back because there is going to be a ton of pissed off people that would most likely mean his next death is not faked.

So, as I see it, and it is just my opinion, Whether Michael Jackson faked his death or not he may as well be dead because he is never coming back.

Reality Check

I'm sorry to keep harping on about informers, well actually I'm not but it sounded a good start, and how fucking lame they all are. But for some reason people keep believing the fucked up bullshit they keep spewing forth.

I don't really care what anyone investigating this hoax think. Each to their own and all that happy tree-hugging horse shit.

But really? How many informers are there? It would seem that anyone who knew, or met, Michael Jackson in the last 20 years has been given the task to announce his comeback. And not to the media but on Twitter, Facebook, and shitty forums. Nice to see even informers cannot be fucking bothered with MySpace.

Which is all well and good for those needing a swift kick in the believing department. But is it more harm than good?

A boy sits and watches the sheep. He gets bored so he shouts "Wolf!". The people from the village come running but there is no wolf. The next night the same thing. The third night a wolf really does turn up; and once again the boy shouts "Wolf!". The people from the village do not believe him, thinking it to be yet another joke, and the boy dies a gruesome death; being eaten by the wolf.

There have been so many supposed informers that if a real informer turned up he or she would be considered nothing more than a charlatan like all the rest.

And if you look at the supposed informers you can tell they have absolutely nothing to do with Michael Jackson. He had a simple message of 'love' supposedly; but his informers will be cryptic, somewhat abusive, and have a ton of math equations for you to figure out.

I, personally, don't think there will be any informers. It will just happen. Michael Jackson always did things a little bit more on the extravagant side.

Did everyone forget the music videos that the world waited for? Did everyone forget the world tours that wowed millions? And did everyone forget the last announcement made (Michael or not) at the O2 arena in London? The whole international media was watching, reporting, in awe.

And now everyone is expected to believe his comeback is going to be announced by some shady person on Twitter? Or his comeback his going to be announced on a forum with a series of cryptic clues? Or on some forum where you need to solve some fucked up math equation?

Does this even sound like the way Michael Jackson would do things?

Believe what you want I don't really give a shit. But for me I'll wait for the man himself and the worldwide spectacular that will be a comeback; in the extravagant style that Michael Jackson did everything.

No Love.

Pepsi Knows Something

A recently leaked advertisement for Pepsi definitely suggest that they know more than they are letting on.

Leaked Pepsi Advertisement

Pepsi spokeswoman, Nicole Bradley, sent the following statement:

"Pepsi neither deny or confirm that this advertisement has anything to do with Pepsi in any way. All things will be revealed only at the time they are meant to be revealed and not before. The LAPD have started an investigation to the source of this advertisement. Although if any soft drink company was to be involved in Mr. Jackson's fake death it would undoubtedly be Pepsi."

Larry King, of CNN fame, said "What? Pepsi? I'm getting fucking divorced and you ask about Pepsi knowing anything about Michael. When I was talking to him the other ... oh shit, forget I said that. Damn. Suppose that will be another slip-up that makes it to Youtube."

Although no reliable sources can confirm the Pepsi advert media attention whore, Paris Hilton, had this to say "Well nobody asked me if it was OK. I was tanning at the time, I suppose they didn't want to disturb me. The could have called my Blackberry, the number is 200-50-1901 no wait that is my Social Security number. I'm such an airhead."

So at present it would seem only time will tell if Pepsi know anything and if they have exclusive rights to a comeback tour with sponsorship.

Peace.

Legal Notice: Pepsi, Nicole Bradley, Larry King, or Paris Hilton had nothing to do with this post. It is merely satire to take up some time until some new evidence or clues come about. Also 200-50-1901 is not Paris Hilton's SS#.

Spoon Bender Geller And 0.2%

Over at MJHD.NET, in the topic The Uri Geller Show, allegedly Uri Geller announced that maybe Michael Jackson will be making a comeback next week. Allegedly after a show Uri Geller said:

"I shouldn't be saying this, but there will be a person here next week. Everybody here in the Netherlands knows him or her he / she is a Mega star and he will reveal himself here next week. This will be breaking news all over the world. I'm 99.8 % sure that he will be here next week, but there is a possibility that he won't show up." (paraphrased)

Hold on there Uri - just how did you know this ground breaking news? We haven't forgot that your fucking useless psychic powers did not pick up that Martin Bashir was nothing but a snake. And we haven't forgotten that Michael severed his friendship with you in 2002 because of your part in that documentary. And now we are all supposed to jump up and down like a bunch of Miley Cyrus fans because you say Michael Jackson is making a comeback next week?

But wait, with your great psychic powers you didn't actually say that. Because you put a 0.2% possibility of it not happening in there. Nice cover for when it doesn't happen. Like me making a prediction that I'm 99.8% sure next week Souza will declare her love, publicly, to Mo - but there is still a 0.2% chance she won't.

I'm not sure why PianoGames is all over this guy. I mean the PianoGames forum is like some scary shrine to Uri Geller. But before I even think of believing Uri on this in the slightest I'd like Uri to answer a couple of questions:

Why didn't your mystical psychic abilities pick up that Martin Bashir was a useless fucking cunt?

What did you do with the 'expenses' money that Bashir/ITV paid you?

Do you really expect us to believe that Michael's comeback will be announced by a person he put on a 'hate list' along with Tom Sneddon and Gloria Allred?

And how come the only time it was mentioned that you and Michael had patched things up was after June 25, 2009?

Come on, Michael announcing his comeback through Uri 'I bend spoons' Geller is about as likely as Michael announcing his comeback on Karen Faye's Facebook page. This guy is one fucking crackhead that is relying on the 0.2% possibility of it not happening to save his sorry ass when it does not happen.

Peace.

Legal Notice: Uri Geller is a tosser. This is public opinion by a lot of fans of Michael Jackson and people that are not fans of Michael Jackson. The fact that he can bend spoons does not mean he can predict the future. I bend forks but have no psychic powers.