Hoaxing A Lawsuit

Those still believing that Michael Jackson faked his death cannot have missed the fact that Katherine Jackson, and the three kids of Michael, have a wrongful death lawsuit against AEG Live. For the grand total of $40 BILLION.

Putting aside the fact that the lawsuit has done nothing but give the media a chance to drag up more shit than a sewage farm on its busiest day. The lawsuit has killed the hoax. It is proof that there is no:

• Game
• Hoax
• Comeback

I mean you can take the fanciful idea that Michael Jackson is hiding with Elvis, reading the Seventh Day Adventist literature, planning a comeback while keeping various informants (read as bullshit artists) and clues all up-to-date, if you want. But if you do what does that say about the family?

Seriously, mention in to any hoaxer about the Jackson family being nothing more than money-hungry leeches sucking the very life out of the MJ legacy and a good majority of them will act like you just said God doesn't exist, Jesus was a historical David Blaine, and the only thing after this life is that is you are worm food or ashes.

But what about the hoaxers. What do they say? I really don't know anymore. To be honest it all got a bit crazy in old hoax land. Souza launched some religious website bullshit (you cannot tell me you didn't see that coming), and every song, movie, and news event since the dawn of time is some clue Michael Jackson left before he faked his death. Oh, and don't forget the fact that Michael Jackson chose TMZ as his way of telling all the true beLIEvers.

If you look at what the hoaxers are saying by still hanging on to the idea that Michael Jackson is still alive you can read the subtext, and that is not a pretty picture. If you believe that Michael Jackson faked his death the subtext is:

Katherine Jackson is a hypocrite - As a devout Jehovah Witness she is getting up and falsely testifying in a court of law. This is called perjury, and as a Jehovah Witness she can be disfellowshipped for doing so.

Paris Jackson attempted suicide - Michael Jackson, in the pursuit of the all-mighty dollar from the comeback of the century, allowed his daughter to become so depressed with everything and attempt to kill herself.

The family is in turmoil - With all the in-family disagreements, fighting, and arguments since June 25, 2009 Michael Jackson has supposedly just sat back allowing this to go on.

OK, maybe, and it is a big maybe, the family don't know and they think he is dead. But then that means that the hoaxers are painting one of the most evil pictures of Michael Jackson ever. It would mean that his mother, and kids, all grieved for him without knowing he is alive and well and living with Elvis and all that.

You can only have it one way though. Either the family do know and Michael Jackson is allowing his mother and children to commit perjury just so that they can make $40 Billion. Or they don't know and each and every hoaxer thinks Michael Jackson is some sicko that is allowing his mother and kids to grieve, and all the other difficulties, while he plans some comeback.

Either way it doesn't do much for the legacy of Michael Jackson.

There is a third possibility. He is dead. The hoax was a fanciful idea for a while but in the reality of life, and what the kids and family are going through, is so unlikely it is laughable.

The Hoaxer's Halloween

The following story is fictional. All people, places, and situations bearing any resemblance to real life, persons living or dead, is purely coincidental.

It was the night before Halloween, Devil's Night to some, but to the various hoaxers, and believers, around the world it was the third night in which believers were being killed off.

Two days ago, in California, a prolific believer had been killed. Local police had chalked the murder up to just another senseless killing; but any believer who saw the crime scene knew something more had taken place.

When Twiggy was discovered. She was tied to her bed; her naked body seemingly punctured over and over again by a knife. Blood soaked the sheets. If that was all the details believers might also feel it was just another senseless murder. But there was clues that police had overlooked - because to them the clues meant nothing. All over the wall, written in blood, was the phrase "7x7x7". There was a single white glove found on the floor. The police did a complete sweep of the room - no fingerprints, no DNA, no nothing as evidence.

The local police, in California, said it was a killing, that although strange, appeared to be random and would unlikely be repeated. As far as they were concerned it was another murder that would go unsolved.

Yesterday in Newcastle, England, another believer was killed. The body of Henda had been found hanging in an abandoned warehouse. Hanging from the beam was Henda. His body had slowly dripped every fluid ounce of blood to the floor below. Yet again another killing. Local media said that the police were confused by the scene but were unlikely to solve this murder.

The scene was later described by the local news. Henda had been hanging, his blood slowly leaving his body as he died a slow, painful, death. Police found a single white glove; although there was no message this time. No message until the blood was cleaned up that is. As the blood was washed from the floor, below Henda was a circular message - a calling card. It read "7x7x7x7x7x7x". Once again there was no evidence. No fingerprints. Nothing.

The rumors were already starting on Twitter. Someone was going around the world killing believers. But who could be doing such a thing. Who could be creating these horrible murder scenes without leaving the police so much as a single strand of evidence to work with?

Then it happened. As soon as the news broke it was all over Twitter. Souza, the administrator of a hoax forum, had been killed. Details were sketchy to say the least. All that was known is that Souza had been murdered. Yet another believer killed. The scene was later described: Souza had been in the kitchen. Someone took a knife and cut her throat. Then they cut off her arms; then her legs. She had died screaming in pain. Once again there was a single white glove. There was also the message of "7x7x7" carved into her torso. No evidence was found.

It was the next day, Halloween, believers worldwide were worried that one of them was going to be next. Three people had died and it would most likely happen again tonight. But who was it to be? Butterflies400 checked her direct messages on Twitter - one stood out:

Happy Halloween Hoaxers!

Hoaxer Christmas Gifts

Fuck searching eBay for Christmas presents for the hoaxer in your life. Now exclusively from MJHDC productions a selection of gifts are available. All orders placed before December 22 will be shipped in time for Christmas no matter what corner of the world you live in.




The Foam Finger: Tired of supporting your team to see some over-paid asshole fuck up on the field and lose the match for nothing? Well now you can support Souza and Mo as they take to the battlefields. Who will win? Who knows or cares? But you can show your support for either side with this giant 'Flip The Foam' finger. So fuck off Souza and fuck off Mo; support who the fuck you want for just $29.95


The TS Calculator: Confused by the Souza/TS/TIAI posts and how they worked that shit out? No longer do you need to worry as no matter what number you press on this 'unofficial official TS calculator' the answer will always be 7; or a derivative of 7 such as 777. Hoaxing clues will no longer baffle you as you look like Albert Einstein on crack with this unofficial official TS calculator. Yours for the low, low, price of $7.77


Rosetta Stone (Mauraish): Are you a hoaxer that doesn't live in a gutter? Are you confused by the crazy fucked up ebonics that Maura spouts out of her mouth? Fear no more. MJHDC in association with Rosetta Stone present Mauraish levels 1 - 5. By the time you have finished this world class software course you will be able to speak like Maura; and be able to back track anything you say without making sense. Michael's message has never been so fucking filthy. Yours for the steal of a price $49.99


The MJ Dildo: Finished talking to Michael on Twitter, Facebook, or Myspace? Why does it have to end there? Now with this exclusive sex toy it doesn't have to. Plug it into the USB port of your computer and whenever that fake MJ on Twitter, Facebook, or Myspace types "hee hee" you'll feel the pulsations of joy rush through your body. This gift is 100% fun and then some. Styled in the colors vitiligo to guarantee that 'authentic' experience. Just $29.99

Peace.

Cuss Count: Semi-High

Legal Notice: None of these products really exist and have nothing to do with the companies they may look like they represent. This post is satire; but if you didn't realize that just make your checks payable to MJHDC and send them to the first address you think of.