United We Fall

Ever since the reported death of Michael Jackson on June 25, 2009 there has been a call from various fans for all of the Michael Jackson fans to unite as one.

This will only ever happen in a dream; and even in that dream it is very unlikely.

It is just never going to happen. Yes, all the Michael Jackson fans can agree that Michael Jackson is a worldwide phenomenon; but that is about as far as it goes for everyone agreeing on anything. Then it all gets split into various groups which then get divided even further so that it in reality all the Michael Jackson fans have different beliefs and different views.

First you have the non-believers like This Is Not It (TINI) people who think that Michael Jackson is deader than Jermaine's child support payments; and want to see Conrad Murray swinging from the nearest tree for the crime that he committed.

Then you have the believers (aka beLIEvers or hoaxers) that think that Michael Jackson faked his death and is alive, well, and hiding out somewhere; and they think Conrad Murray is involved with the fake death somehow.

Then you have the fence-sitters (as I call them) that don't know what to believe, and sit around wondering if Michael Jackson is dead or alive.

Now if you concentrate on the believers, they get sub-divided even further because of various beliefs within the group of believers.

You have some that think Michael Jackson faked his death because he was feeling threatened by the all-conquering, all-powerful, Illuminati. Which really makes no sense if the Illuminati are as powerful as they think.

Then you have some that think that the whole hoax is based on numerology and will get clues from anything. Hell if there was a picture of Joe and Katherine Jackson eating at a restaurant and Katherine had 5 fries and 2 onion rings left on her plate it would be a sign.

You have those that believe Michael Jackson hoaxed his death because it was foretold in the Bible. Creation of earth, mankind, birth of Christ, Armageddon, and the fake death of Michael Jackson can all be found in there allegedly.

Then you have those that feel the hoax was planned since the dawn of time and involves every movie ever made and all Michael Jackson's songs, since he was 7, were written to indicate a hoax death.

And not only do you have the various beliefs within the believers you also have further sub-division with people following certain other people. Such as all those that follow Maura (or Moora) like they are rabbits and she has a carrot shoved up her ass. Others blindly follow the Nazi lesbians; also know as Souza and Mo. Others follow every single fake Michael Jackson on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, or any other social network.

And that is just a few of the various sub-divisions within the believers group.

Then you have the new sub-division that is opening up. Boycotting. Boycott Sony, boycott Oprah, and boycott AEG. Me personally I'm boycotting boycotts.

So with all these various beliefs and ideas spread amongst the Michael Jackson fans how on earth does anyone ever expect them all to come together as one?

3D - Just like the movies.

Peace.

Cuss Count: None (Unless 'ass' counts)

Legal Notice: This post is an opinion. The 3D aspect of the image does actually work but you need the goofy looking red/blue glasses for it to work.

New FDA Poster Released

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) released a new advertising poster, to make people more aware of healthy eating, today at a press conference in New York.

FDA spokesman, Michael Herndon, said "With all the drama concerning Dr. Conrad Murray and how often he is in the news just lately the FDA thought he would be the ideal person to use in a 'healthy eating' campaign. With his reputation for over-prescribing lethal drugs we at the FDA felt that nobody would want to see Dr. Murray. We decided on using an apple for two reasons - because of the phrase 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away' and also because of the Michael Jackson 'Applehead' reference."

This Is Not It (TINI) supporters were removed from the press conference when they started chanting "Justice for Michael". Police were forced to use mace and taser guns. One TINI supporter was injured during the scuffle and required medical treatment.

About the scuffle Herndon said "We are trying to promote healthy eating and these supporters are on about justice for Michael. As my dear old grandma used to say 'Save the drama for your Mama - or in this case the court room."

The poster is expected to be on billboards all across the United States by mid-March.

New FDA Poster For Healthy Eating

Peace.

Legal Notice: Michael Herndon is an actual FDA spokesman and may not have actually taken part at the press conference which may, or may not, have taken place. No TINI supporters were hurt in the making of this post.