Nigel Poole, spokesperson for Astra Zeneca, said: "Ever since last year our company has received a lot of bad press over Propofol. It didn't help that it was the drug allegedly used by Dr. Conrad Murray; and in turn was attributed to the fatal cardiac arrest suffered by Michael Jackson. Through a process of think tanks and research we have decide to use the negative as an advantage and in the fall of this year will be plastering billboards across the United States with our new advertisements."
Some have suggested that Astra Zeneca are merely attempting to make money off of the name Michael Jackson. One such opponent of the new advertising, Brian Oxman said "Its a fucking joke. This man kills the king of pop and then he gets an advertising contract to market the same drug that he used to kill Michael Jackson."
Jermaine Jackson, brother of Michael Jackson, said "I use it all the time. I use it on the wife. I come home and she starts on about my hair looking greasier than a deep fat fryer and shit. So I just give her a shot and tell her that its the hair that makes the money. She usually has about 7 seconds to answer before the Propofol kicks in."
Jason Weinberg, manager of Lindsay Lohan, had this to say "Obviously my client couldn't be here today but she is here in spirit. Lindsay never wanted to get mixed up with Murray in any way but who knows one day they may be in the same correctional facility. How many other people made $25,000 while sitting in jail and rehab?"
Talking about the advertising Conrad Murray said "I got vacations to pay for, I got child support to pay, I got strippers to pay, and I got to eat too. There aint no fucking patients coming to me for medical advice. Hell, some little punk sprayed 'Rot In Hell Dr Death' on my vehicle. When Astra Zeneca contacted me and said I would get $15,000 I jumped all over it. What the fuck do you mean Lindsay Lohan got $25,000? She aint nothing but a skanky fucking whore. I'm worth more than that drunk ass bitch. Get me my fucking lawyer."
The advertising campaign is expected to start in early October.
Cuss Count: Low
Legal Notice: Nobody really was at the announcement as it never happened. All names used are used in satire. Propofol is not really that good for you.
2 comments:
Hee hee!
Doggggy,
Love the new 'cuss count' feature. Tells me what I should and should not be reading. By the way, I knew you'd be back. You're like a cancer that wont go away. As hard as people try they just can't cut you out. See you around!
Good call on changing the header. The first one was good, the second one sucked ass, and this one is the best.
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