Suicide Is Painless

So someone decided to post that Auntie Amy committed suicide. They did not say how she committed suicide or even say why. So here, in my humble opinion, is what I believe happened...

This Is It, the movie, was released and Auntie Amy was expecting an influx of new members (both real and imaginary members) which would add to the growing money that MJHD was making from mindless people supporting a non-fan that originally declared Michael as "Jacko". When that influx wasn't as great as Auntie Amy thought it was going to be she was stuck with the conundrum that she had ordered a stockpile of diapers that she couldn't afford.

Meanwhile, while all this was going on, Auntie Amy was spiralling further and further into depression as more and more people realized that she was just a money-making whore, that cared for Michael, and the truth, about as much as I care about David Hasselhoff's hemorrhoids or his ever receding hairline.

With growing debts, incurred by diaper purchasing, diaper fetish websites, and a load of other sick things too sick to even mention on this blog one night she couldn't take it any more.

She sat down at her desk, drinking kool-aid, and proceeded to print a list of all the members that she had created. Then she printed a least of all the people that she had conned. After wasting several acres of Brazilian rainforest on these print-outs and others she slowly started to suffocate as the piles and piles of paper started to close in on her. With her editor screaming down the phone for the book that Auntie Amy had promised: "100 Ways to Screw People and Get Them to Say Thank You" Auntie Amy could take no more. She started to rip off her clothes off - including her new deluxe diaper - and started using the paper to cut herself repeatedly until the room was a mass mixture of blood and paper. And thus the end of Auntie Amy.

Well actually it never happened, because after the supposed suicide Auntie Amy was making refunds to the people that she had ripped off, she had tweeted, and she had continued to buy diapers.

So next time you hear that a money-hungry Admin has committed suicide do not believe it until you see the body.

And as for this blog being reported to the police as the cause of Auntie Amy's suicide, I'm guessing the police (even the LAPD) would need some sort of proof that there is indeed a dead body of an Admin called Amy, and that none of the blog was true, before they did anything. And as everything that was ever written was factual I'm not really expecting the police to come knocking.

Peace.