Michael Jackson Stamps

Last night on Twitter @DLRodarte tweeted "How come there has not been a postage stamp with MJ on it? #LOVE and #PEACE"

I knew there had been a stamp, well a collection, but just could not for the life of me remember which country had issued them. Google provided the answer. The country that issued a set of eight Michael Jackson stamps was St Vincent (a Carribean island with a population of approximately 120,000). The stamps issued in 1985 look like:

Thats about as far as the conversation went on Twitter. But I was thinking about it today; and wondering why the United States Postal Service and the Michael Jackson Estate have not thought to do a set of stamps.

According to CNN approximately 51% of all Americans are Michael Jackson fans. Approximately 151,000,000 people. If half of them collected a set of 6 stamps featuring Michael Jackson that would be $203,850,000 in sales for the United States Postal Service (6 stamps at 45c x 75,500,000); and that doesn't even include the stamp collectors that are not Michael Jackson fans.

As for the Michael Jackson Estate they could use the set of stamps as an advertisement opportunity; possibly featuring the Bad album which is in its 25 year anniversary. This would generate sales of the 25th Anniversary Bad album.

The stamps could look like this:

With the set looking like:

And surely it cannot be forgotten that Michael Jackson was a citizen of the United States; surely it wouldn't kill the United States Postal Service to work with the Michael Jackson Estate to commerate an artist who is a worldwide icon.

Interviewing Homeless Dave

To many he is simply Homeless Dave. But Dave Jackson is a man on a mission. Since his return, from when he was in a coma for almost a year, he has set goals - and plans to conquer those goals one at a time. I caught up with Homeless Dave and found out about his goals.

Doggie: Almost a year and then you come back with a whole new attitude. What happened?
Dave: I was in a coma for almost a year. It makes you see the bigger picture. You take a look around and see what you would have missed had you died; and you think: Damn, why was I wasting time?
Doggie: A whole new outlook on life then?
Dave: Not really. I just see things differently. You know when Neo realizes he is the one, in The Matrix, that is kind of how I feel.
Doggie: So you think you have been chosen?
Dave: No. Just I see things differently.
Doggie: Such as?
Dave: The whole Michael Jackson death hoax possibility.
Doggie: So your opinion has changed over the last year?
Dave: Let me get one thing straight. Just because my name is Dave Jackson does not mean I'm related in any way. Look at me I'm white.
Doggie: Dave, I don't think anyone has suggested you are related.
Dave: Maybe not but I wanted to clear the matter up.
Doggie: OK. So your opinion on the hoax?
Dave: I'm not saying there is a hoax. I'm not saying Michael Jackson faked his death. And in the grand scheme of things it makes no difference to me. I mean if Michael Jackson faked his death, and he makes a comeback, he isn't going to come find me, shake my hand, and say 'Thanks for beLIEving in me Dave.' It makes no difference to him, either, if I believe or not.
Doggie: Well do you believe?
Dave: No. No I don't. I have had it with the whole hoax. I don't care anymore. It is full of egotists, the blind, and retarded people that should stop wasting oxygen.
Doggie: Whoa there Dave. You may have to expand a bit on that.
Dave: The egotists - people like Souza; running MJDHI. It could have been a great forum. It could have been the hub of the whole hoax investigation. But it is nothing more than a joke. People thinking Michael Jackson is reading their mindless crap about numerology and religion. They need to get over themselves. Michael Jackson, if he was alive, would not waste his precious time reading the fact that some Seventh Day Adventist has added every number to equal 7. And all this religion thrown into the mix. It is just a waste of time for people to read. Michael himself never chose a religion as such and looked at all religions. If he wasted his last few days, before faking his death, to make sure all the numbers matched he might as well not ever make a comeback because he has obviously lost the plot.
Doggie: The blind?
Dave: All these idiots that follow every single breadcrumb they are fed. It doesn't matter how stupid it is they follow like it is really something. The numerology falls into this category too but it is much more than that. All these people that must be on some sort of drug are leading people up the garden path. I'm no doctor but without a medical license I'd say they are on drugs. You have Pearl Jr think that anyone who joined Twitter, and is called Peter, is Michael Jackson. If you ask me ...
Doggie: That is why it is called an interview.
Dave: Anyway, if you ask me Pearl Jr is in all this for the money. I mean the woman wrote an introduction to a book which says 'goodbye' to Michael Jackson. What the Hell is all that about if she isn't in it for the money? But people are following all her 'nudge nudge wink wink' clues like they actually mean something. Every bloody tweet that woman does ends with a commercial to one of her products. She is worse than the promotional tweets Twitter puts out. At least they actually tell you they are advertising tweets.
Doggie: You still see all them?
Dave: Yeah. The client I use doesn't block them. Plus I think I followed half of them by mistake.
Doggie: I see. Back to the breadcrumbs.
Dave: Do these half-wits really think that Michael Jackson left all these clues so that he could be found? I mean seriously who would do such a thing? It is not like he is on some giant 'hide and seek' game sitting in some hotel room waiting to be found by some crack fiend. It just does not make sense. They need to stop and take a look from the outside to see how other people see them. Michael Jackson didn't plan all this so that every date to do with his entire life, up to the time he supposedly faked his death, added up to the number seven. Anyone that believes that really needs to unplug their computer, put it back in the box, and save themselves from how stupid they look.
Doggie: Dave, that is a bit harsh.
Dave: It may be harsh but it is true. If you think that you have spoke to Michael Jackson, since June 2009, on some social networking site, or on a forum, you really need to evaluate your grip on reality. Because that is why he faked his death - so he could sit in obscurity and read, and talk, about it on the Internet. Do these people realize how stupid they look to the outside world?
Doggie: Possibly not. And the wasting oxygen?
Dave: The whole hoax. Like I said it makes no difference to Michael Jackson. He doesn't give a damn. Chances are that by now people should start realizing this is no hoax and the guy is dead. Leave the guy alone. He isn't putting clues for you to find him. And all you supposed fans that tweet to his kids saying he is alive; you really think that is helping them? You really think Michael Jackson wants you to be making his kids relive the fact their father is gone; day after day?
Doggie: Well I suppose not.
Dave: Of course not. These people are sick. Throwing it in his kids faces on a daily basis. Assholes the lot of them.
Doggie: So moving away from the hoax somewhat ...
Dave: Good. Because that is one situation where the lunatics have taken over the asylum.
Doggie: What do you reckon to Britney Spears being a judge on X Factor?
Dave: I think that is a bad move. She is famous for lip-syncing her whole career. Nothing but a female version of Justin Bieber.
Doggie: Speaking of Bieber. What do you think of him copying Michael Jackson so much?
Dave: Little Canadian prick should do his own thing. I know he is Usher's little bitch and everything but he needs a trademark of his own. He doesn't want to be remembered as the talentless wonder that just stole everything.
Doggie: Dave; do you have anything nice to say about anyone?
Dave: Willie Nelson and Skrillex. Willie Nelson for those relaxing moments when you smoke. And a little bit of Skrillex to get the blood pumping before you go shoplifting.
Doggie: You know you shouldn't be an ambassador for shoplifting.
Dave: I advertise for these places when I shoplift there. It is not even really shoplifting. It is like an official payment for my advertising services.
Doggie: You can word it however you want. It is still shoplifting.
Dave: You say tomatoes I say tomatoes. You say shoplifting I say advertising.
Doggie: The tomatoes joke won't work in print.
Dave: Nor will any of the other jokes. So don't start worrying about it now.
Doggie: Any words you'd like to say to those that listen to your aimless rambling?
Dave: Do whatever you want. You wake up one morning and you want to paint yourself green and run around Walmart shouting 'I'm a Gummi Bear' I say just do it.
Doggie: That is it?
Dave: You expecting some psychological diarrhea? I'm homeless, I shoplift, and I'm as real as Sasquatch. I'm Homeless Dave not Plato.
Doggie: True. Well thanks for nothing.
Dave: You are welcome.

In A Coma

For those of you that are too lazy to follow me on Twitter you may not know that it was reported that I was allegedly dead. This is not true. I never died. I have since found out this was a rumor started by Karl who was hoping to get my spot in the alley where I live. The truth is that I was in a coma. I don't know all the details because I was in coma but I can tell you what I experienced while I was in the coma.

Some of you may not want to hear what I experienced, just simply because it goes against what you think you know, but I experienced it; I went through it. If you don't want to read then don't.

When I was in a coma I experienced some really strange stuff. I felt I was dead. As my body laid there I was somehow looking down on it as I rose up in the sky. It was odd because I was shouting at people below to grab me but nobody even noticed me. As I passed through the clouds I really thought I was dead; which was quite a strange feeling. On one hand I was pissed that I was dead but on the other hand I was happy that I was heading upwards and not downwards.

After passing through the clouds I came to this city. It looked like Detroit but there was no garbage on the streets. I stood there for a few minutes, just looking at how clean and bright everything was, when some guy touched my shoulder.

I wasn't sure where I was, or whether I was alive or dead, so my first instinct was to turn around and shout "Get the fuck off me. I have no money for you." He smiled, and said, "Brother I'm just here to help you." He looked like he had a honest face so I asked him where I was.

His answer scared the shit out of me. He said I was in Heaven. I asked him if I was dead and he said that I wasn't dead I was merely resting and experiencing some kind of euphoric nirvana. I told him that I had nothing to do with Kurt Cobain; and not to judge me. He said that I wouldn't be judged for a day or two. I asked him if I was in Purgatory. He laughed and said that was just a Catholic scam; and didn't really exist.

As we walked to what he called the 'Induction Hall' we chatted. And I asked him the obvious question - So is Michael Jackson in Heaven? He looked at me, smiled, and said "Yes. It was pretty much the only way to escape the cruel world below." I mentioned that Walmart had fired me for no reason whatsoever, so I knew how cruel the world was, but he didn't seem to care.

I'm not sure how to describe the Induction Hall. Think of the DMV but with friendly people who have souls.

(At this point I'd like to mention to any DMV personnel that if I come into the DMV office not to hold that example against me.)

I took a number from the machine and joked about feeling like I was at the Deli and would order a pound of bologna when I got to the front. I looked down and the ticket was D666. I thought that was not a good thing, so I dropped the ticket and picked another, again it was D666. I must have pulled about 100 tickets and they all said D666. Then the guy said: "Pull as many tickets as you want they will all say the same. It is a ticket for you. No matter what ticket you pull it will be yours."

Now I was panicking. I'd somehow just arrived in Heaven and the first souvenir is a ticket saying D666. I might as well not wait for the judging and just jump down to Hell.

One good thing about Heaven - no waiting. As soon as I approached they called out "D666". I did hesitate at first hoping some other sucker got the same number; but I was that sucker.

I approached the desk, and this nice young lady asked me to be seated, she confirmed my name was David Jackson, and then proceeded to go through a few details. Well, to cut the boredom out of Heaven suffice to say I was assigned a hotel room until my judgement and given a complimentary bag of goodies. The bag contained a map, some phone numbers, and a few toiletries. As I was leaving the desk I apologized for the D666 ticket. The young lady smiled at me and said: "Let us hope its not a sign." It was at that point I remembered that Michael Jackson was here. I asked her which room he was in. She said that he had already been judged, and that if you stay in Heaven after your judgement you move to Paradise City. I asked if she used to be a Guns N Roses fan. No response. I asked if I could get Michael Jackson's phone number. She said no; but she could inform him that I wished to speak to him. Something to do with 'judgement waiters' could not contact those that had already been judged; but it worked the other way around.  I joked it was like trying to talk to the IRS; she didn't get that joke either.

The hotel room I got was pretty nice. Basic but nice. One tip for anyone that ends up in the 'Judgement Hotel' don't waste your time trying to select the 'adult' channels on the TV; they are blocked and a notice comes on the screen saying: "Those types of channel are blocked. If you wish to watch that sort of thing go to Hell."

I awoke the next morning feeling really refreshed. I have to admit that I almost forgot I dead; well half-dead. Now when I say half-dead I wasn't a zombie. I don't truly know how it all worked but I was in Heaven and not dead.

I was watching the weather as I ate breakfast; pondering how they knew that Fruit Loops were my favorite. Then the phone rang. It was the guy I had met the day before. He told me that there had been a cancellation and I was going to be judged today. He said he would pick me up from the hotel.

This was not good. I got dressed. I was trying to decide whether shoplifting was a crime or a sin. I didn't want to go to Hell just for surviving. OK there were a few items I took that I could have survived without; but overall it was purely survival.

I thought of all the good I had done on Earth. That lasted about two seconds.

I went down to the lobby and waited. Once again the wait was short. My friend said we would walk to the Judgement Hall. I hate walking but luckily it was only a short walk. I asked him if Jesus was going to be the one that judged me. He said Jesus doesn't judge. I said I hope it is not Judge Judy. Nothing. Seriously, Heaven needs a sense of humor.

Once in the Judgement Hall I was told to go in a room. I went in. Sitting at the front was God. I think it was God. He said he was God; but I have never seen God so I had to take his word for it.

He said that I was lucky that my judgement had been moved forward. I jokingly said that it depends where I end up. Once again nothing.

He checked that I was David Jackson and asked why I preferred to be called Dave. I told him most of the people I know have problems remembering long names. He shook his head. He then started on about whether I would like to call any witnesses. I said I'd like to call Michael Jackson seems I may never get the chance to see him otherwise. God asked me which Michael Jackson. Oh shit I never thought that Heaven would have more Michael Jacksons than Twitter. I told him the Michael Jackson known as the King of Pop. He said they had no record. I told him that I had already asked 2 people and they had confirmed that Michael Jackson was there. He asked me who I asked, I told him, and in a flash of light they were both there. God asked them if I had mentioned Michael Jackson to them. Both said I had but that I had not really been clear about which one.

God looked at me sternly and said that since the beginning of time there had been close to 4 million Michael Jacksons; and of those there were 989,734 in Paradise City. I thought about the Guns N Roses joke but decided not to mention it.

So, Michael Jackson, well the one I wanted to talk to, was not dead. This was proof that Michael Jackson was alive. This was more proof than some stupid number theory. This was more proof than Harvey Levin saying something. God himself had just told me that Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, was alive.

I interrupted God, and said that as I wasn't dead I didn't think I'd be judged. He got really angry at that. He threw his gavel at the court clerk, and was muttering under his beard. He then looked at me and said: "I'm sorry Mr David Jackson there seems to have been an error. You are right in the fact that I cannot judge you until you die. So see this as a chance to go back to Earth and spread the word."

I thanked him and told him not to worry; that I would tell everyone that God said Michael Jackson is alive. He was saying something as I left; but I didn't hear him.

I awoke from the coma. And although it had all happened in a couple of days I had actually been in Heaven almost a year. It was an odd feeling.

Well, that is my experience of Heaven. A place with no sense of humor. I don't care if anyone believes me or not I lived it (not sure lived it is the right expression for dying). And as God, and Bon Jovi say: Keep the faith!

Interview Of A Lifetime

In what felt like a few pages from an Agatha Christie novel I was instructed, if I wanted the interview of a lifetime, to be at a certain place at a certain time. I was instructed to come alone; with no camera. I was instructed to be on time.

The following is the transcript from the interview that took place.

Michael Jackson: I thought you was meant to be a dog?
Saint Doggie: I thought you was meant to be dead?
Michael Jackson: I am.
Saint Doggie: So you are a ghost and all of this is some drug fueled delusion?
Michael Jackson: No silly I'm alive.
Saint Doggie: You just agreed you were meant to be dead.
Michael Jackson: Meant to be. Doesn't mean I am.
Saint Doggie: I see. So you spent the last three years perfecting some routine where you answer questions without actually answering them?
Michael Jackson: Well from what I was told you spent the last three years going from a dog, to a joker, then back to a dog. Now you call yourself a saint.
Saint Doggie: Hey. That is for tax purposes. Anyway I got a string of questions for you.
Michael Jackson: Well then ask away.
Saint Doggie: Firstly, what is with all these damn clues everywhere?
Michael Jackson: There are no clues. People will see and believe what they want.
Saint Doggie: So not one clue to say you are alive?
Michael Jackson: No. You don't fake your death to leave a trail of breadcrumbs. This is reality not some Hansel and Gretal story.
Saint Doggie: But you have to admit some clues are possible?
Michael Jackson: If I scream from the top of the tallest building in the world "777" that doesn't make it a clue; that makes it a man screaming numbers. People will see what they want.
Saint Doggie: Anyone in your family know you are alive?
Michael Jackson: The important people. The people I trust.
Saint Doggie: Your kids?
Michael Jackson: Yes.
Saint Doggie: Your Mom?
Michael Jackson: Of course.
Saint Doggie: Jermaine?
Michael Jackson: Hell no.
Saint Doggie: But he did the now infamous airport slip-up. Where he said you went to the airport.
Michael Jackson: Big deal. It is Jermaine. He wouldn't know the truth if it came up and knocked four of his teeth out.
Saint Doggie: Is Jermaine the only one who doesn't know?
Michael Jackson: Yeah. It is kind of funny. Like, at Christmas time we had this big family get together. Big dinner, singing, and dancing. Just a good old fashioned family party. Everyone had to keep it a secret from Jermaine.
Saint Doggie: So life is pretty much normal?
Michael Jackson: I would say so. I'm still hiding from the media; just now I hide from the world also.
Saint Doggie: Do you feel bad that your kids have to live this lie?
Michael Jackson: Sometimes. But they understand I did it so I could be with them.
Saint Doggie: Does it worry you that one day you may be uncovered?
Michael Jackson: (Chuckles) Yeah. That is why I agreed to do this interview.
Saint Doggie: Nobody will read it anyway.
Michael Jackson: But seriously the kids are fine about it. And so far only one mistake.
Saint Doggie: A big one?
Michael Jackson: Well Prince was at school and got into this argument. It was about who was better - Michael Jackson or Elvis. Prince obviously chose me. Then some kid started on about Elvis selling more stamps or something. Somehow the argument got heated and Prince blurted out "My Dad could kick Elvis' ass any day of the week." The other kid laughed and said "Maybe if he wasn't as dead as Elvis." So Prince retaliated "He's not dead he's alive." Quickly Paris stepped in and said that Prince was spending too much time his Uncle Jermaine; which was why he wasn't making too much sense. It was a close one for sure.
Saint Doggie: Jermaine takes the blame for a lot of things. Do you sometimes feel that it is a little unfair?
Michael Jackson: No. Mom said if it wasn't for my Dad drinking there would have been no more kids after Jermaine was born. She said he didn't want to risk another one like that. But Dad would get drinking and a few months later Mom would be praying to Jehovah that it didn't come out like Jermaine.
Saint Doggie: Understandable. Recently it was mentioned there may be a hologram of you on the Unity tour your brothers are planning.
Michael Jackson: Let me stop you right there. Tupac had the hologram on stage. I'm Michael Jackson. I don't follow I lead. There is no way I'd let them use my image to copy something that has already been done.
Saint Doggie: So no plans for something at the Unity tour?
Michael Jackson: I never said that. I just stated I wouldn't do something that has already been done. I'm an innovator.
Saint Doggie: Well kind of. Faking your death has been done. Jesus, Elvis, Jim Morrison, and Lee Harvey Oswald to name a few. It is not exactly new.
Michael Jackson: You think those people are alive?
Saint Doggie: No. Well maybe Jim Morrison. Elvis would be dead by now as he wasn't in the best of health. Jesus you have to wonder if he ever really existed. Lee Harvey Oswald would have been taken out by the CIA or KGB by now.
Michael Jackson: Didn't Lee Harvey Oswald get shot?
Saint Doggie: Didn't Michael Jackson die of a cardiac arrest?
Michael Jackson: Good point.

Suddenly Michael took a call and had to end the interview. He apologized and left.

Three Years Later (Almost)

This may very well be the last post on this blog. You'll notice I say "may" because even I'm not too sure.

With the three year anniversary of the passing, rapidly approaching, of Michael Jackson (fake or not) realization has finally set in.

The purpose of this blog was always just a place for me to put my opinion somewhere so that when I am old and gray I can look back and see what the hell I was on at the time. It has never been about how many people read it. It has never been about how many people agree with me. I really, and honestly, couldn't care less if people read it; or agree with what I wrote.

But I awoke this morning, with a pretty busy schedule of things to do - programming for clients and a few other things for friends. Anyway, while I was doing this a sudden burst of realization hit me.

That realization was whether Michael Jackson faked his death or not it makes no difference to me in the long run; because of what I believe. I believe that if Michael Jackson faked his death, which I'm not 100% certain of, he is never coming back. You just don't fake your death for some 'game' leaving clues and all that shit. And if he didn't fake his death - well then he's dead anyway.

And as for all the other stuff. I've done my bit. I wrote what I felt, and eventually knew, what was going on with regards to certain people in this whole hoax investigation. I wrote it mainly as notes, but at the same time if anyone thought of looking into the hoax at this late point they would have a warning of what shit is going on.

So, as I said, this may be the last post unless something earth-shattering does happen. Maybe, and this is a long shot, Michael Jackson does make a return and proves me wrong. But I'm not holding my breath on that.

I leave one message for anyone that finds this - "Think for yourself. Don't take anyone's word for anything, including mine, look into everything. Because the second you stop questioning you become a sheep."

And for those wondering ...Look for a MJDHI forum account that was deleted yesterday ... LOL