9/28/2011

Welcome Starving Marvin

With the departure of the Homeless wonder known as Dave it was necessary to keep the Unholy Trinity in balance; and recruit a third person. That person is Marvin 'Starving' Jackson a homeless person from Detroit. The reason another homeless person was chosen was to maintain a 'charitable' tax-exempt status.


Marvin is not a volunteer and will receive a weekly salary of $2. He originally wanted $5 a week but negotiations reached the figure mentioned.

Marvin can be found on Twitter as @MarvinStarving.

I took some time to talk to Marvin as the newest member of The Unholy Trinity.

MJHDC: So Marvin what do you want to say to introduce yourself?
Marvin: Holla nigga. I am officially up in this shit. That $2 is cash right?
MJHDC: Yeah.
Marvin: What about health benefits?
MJHDC: None.
Marvin: No worries I just get myself down the VA hospital. About the only thing a nigga gets for fighting on behalf of his country. Man, I saw shit that would make your eyes fall out and your ass explode with fear.
MJHDC: Which war was you in?
Marvin: I was in 'Nam. I'm still there some days. Never forget some of that shit. I saw bodies piled 5 high being used as sand bags. You don't forget that shit. And we got home all the people fucking looking at us like we were shit because the hippies said there should be no war. I fucking fought for my country. Here count my fingers.
MJHDC: 9.
Marvin: Left the other one in 'Nam. Fucking Viet Cong took it trying to get information. I didn't say shit. Then my unit stormed that place. Dead Charlies everywhere.
MJHDC: Have you been following the Conrad Murray trial at all?
Marvin: Hell no, media going to try to hang a nigga whether they got shit on him or not. If Conrad Murray was white he'd of got a pat on the back and a fucking medal from that turncoat president. Vote for me I am black when I get in the Whitehouse I'll turn my back. Fucker hasn't done shit for the hood. Steps in the hood and no matter how many guards he has he'll be another statistic.
MJHDC: But Conrad is accused of killing Michael Jackson.
Marvin: Hell that was one fucked up dude. I didn't get why he wanted to be white.
MJHDC: That was a disease. Vitiligo.
Marvin: I'd rather have a few white patches than be all white. No offense it isn't your fault. You was born that way.
MJHDC: Umm. Moving on. Have you seen any of the trial?
Marvin: I caught that Ed Chernoff guy talking. If he was my attorney I'd be putting 9mm of cold steel in my mouth and saying goodbye to the world. He was all stammering and shit. I would bet my food stamps that he only got to be an attorney by sucking a real attorney off. I've heard better sentences coming from the Special Needs spelling bee competition. Now that white haired guy looks like a smart cookie. If you got to choose one of them to stand up for you I would of picked that fucker. You know him and the judge play golf together at their exclusive 'white people' only country club. Conrad has got to man up and tell that Chernoff to sit the fuck down.
MJHDC: So you haven't really kept up with the trial?
Marvin: They are going to do the same to Conrad as they did to OJ. And if Arnie Klein isn't found guilty it will be the LA riots all over again.
MJHDC: What exactly are you bringing to the Unholy Trinity?
Marvin: Experience. And you and Hoax News will be able to walk in the ghetto with getting your lily white asses shot. I remember this line from Lench Mob: "White boys white boys love hip-hop. Come to the ghetto and they get shot." Trust me it is no different here in Detroit. You walk your white ass down the wrong street you going out in a body bag. Just the way it is man.
MJHDC: Thanks I think.
Marvin: And I am a personal friend of Joe Jackson.
MJHDC: You know Joe Jackson?
Marvin: That is what I said are you deaf? When I say friend what I mean is that I know this guy who owned a Buick. Well it turns out that at one point Joe Jackson thought about buying it. He didn't but he nearly did. Makes us family almost.
MJHDC: Well you are a Jackson.
Marvin: No relation whatsoever.
MJHDC: Well what would you like to say as way of an introduction?
Marvin: Bitches and pimps I'm all up in this shit. You don't like me fuck off. I sure as hell am not being paid to be nice to you fucking people.
MJHDC: (laughing) You should get paid per cuss word.
Marvin: Hell no. It is only when I'm drinking I cuss.
MJHDC: I see. Any parting words?
Marvin: See you fuckers on the flipside. Peace. I'm outtie.

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