Jermaine Jackson's New Album

Today held at a parking lot was a very small press conference announcing the new album from Jermaine Jackson. The album is entitled "The Unofficial Michael Jackson Tribute".

As there was nothing going on Hoax News Network decided to join the other two press members for this announcement.

Jermaine Jackson, stood on an old milk crate, and made his announcement:

"Today I am releasing this album in memory of my brother; and his legacy.  It is in no way just an opportunity to cash-in on that legacy - that is what my book is for.  I was in the studio for days putting this album together and once they finished autotuning it I was happy with the result. I am not releasing this album on any online source due to the fact that people will download it without paying for it. I got kids to feed - well I'm sure that some of them are my kids. To be honest I'm not sure. Some might be the children of Randy but I am still paying for them; well my mother is. But as I said this album is not about that it is about the legacy of my brother."

Joe Jackson, father of Michael and Jermaine Jackson, had this to say: "Don't be putting me as the father of Jermaine. I hate when the press remind people of that. I am here to support the sales of this album; and it is not because I am getting 33% of all the profits. This album Jermaine actually did all the singing. I played it to his mother and she cried. Strangely enough she stopped crying when I turned it off. People have to realize that if they buy this album Jermaine will be able to pay his child support. I was talking with Katherine last night and she said she has had enough and that is why she is evicting them. Katherine has a big heart and is very polite in her actions. Me, I would of had Randy, Marlon, and Tito go round the house and evict them. You know, go old school with baseball bats and shit and get them out. I don't know how many people even live in that house now. Shit, Katherine is paying for people she don't even know."

I took the moment to ask Jermaine about Marlon's Twitter account. He had this to say: "It is not Marlon. I tweeted that. I know it has been around for 5 months and I am now only mentioning it; and yes there is only me and my wife that is saying it is not Marlon. But I swear it is not Marlon. I don't know why my other brothers haven't said anything against this account."

The album is out now and available via Joe Jackson, as he seems to be hauling all 2,000 copies around in the trunk of his SUV.

Tracks included on the album, all performed by Jermaine, are: It's All About The Benjamins, Money For Nothing, Opportunities (Let's Make Lots Of Money), Take The Money and Run, Gold Digger, and Free Money.

So if you have $3 spare and happen to meet up with Joe Jackson get yourself a copy; if for nothing more than a good laugh.


Cuss Count: 2

Legal Notice: This post is satire and as such none of the events took place. Jermaine Jackson is writing a book in reality; which some have said is cashing in. Hoax News Network is not affiliated with a news agency; nor is the views expressed sponsored by anyone.


Anonymous said...

hahahhahahha!! that was a good one :))

Post a Comment