The Trial

The following is just a possibility of what may happen on the last couple of days when Conrad Murray goes to trial. As always; all persons mentioned are innocent unless proven otherwise in a court of law.

July 2011

In a packed courthouse which has seen testimony after testimony come forward with conflicting stories; finally the moment some have been so anxiously waiting for:

Judge: Order. Order. This court now resumes in the case of People versus Murray. Mr Chernoff please call your next witness.
Chernoff: Your honor I call the defendant, the man of the hour, Mr bad tie himself, the one, the only, Conrad Murray.

Conrad leaves the defense area and makes his way to the stand. The judge notices yet another awful tie; this one reminding him of a road crash victim that had been slaughtered by a semi truck.

Judge: For the record state your full name, your current address, and why you are wearing that god-awful tie.
Murray: I plead the fifth amendment your honor.
Judge: I only asked your name and address. The tie comment was just a little joke.
Murray: Yes I know your honor. But I would still like to plead the fifth.
Judge: Council approach the bench.

Both Chernoff and Walgren approach the bench. All three speak off mic.

Judge: I don't know kind of shit you are trying to pull here.
Chernoff: I assure you all will become clear in time your honor.
Judge: Prosecution, you know anything about this?
Walgren: No your honor. And I must say it is most unusual.
Judge: Unusual? He's turning my court into a fucking circus.
Chernoff: Your honor if you will bear with me all will become clear.
Judge: Look Chernoff I don't like you and I don't like your client so make this fucking charade real damn quick.
Chernoff: Yes your honor.
Walgren: Objection.
Judge: Overruled. I have golf this weekend and I would like to play with a clear head. So let's get this shit over with.

The prosecutor returns to his desk. The judge takes a quick swig of whiskey. Chernoff prepares to question Conrad Murray.

Chernoff: For the purpose of these proceedings I will refer to you as Conrad Murray even though you refuse to confirm that. Is that OK?
Murray: Yes it is.
Chernoff: Conrad on June 25, 2009 at approximately 9:30AM where were you?
Murray: I was at 100 N. Carolwood Drive; the home of Michael Jackson.
Chernoff: And why was you there?
Murray: I had been assigned to look after Mr Jackson.
Chernoff: And did this 'care' include the well-being of Mr Jackson?
Murray: In a way yes.
Walgren: Objection. The defendant was employed by AEG as a doctor therefore the 'well-being' of Mr Jackson should have been his primary concern.
Chernoff: Your honor we are going to cover that.
Judge: Well make it quick. Objection overruled.
Chernoff: Thank you your honor. So, Conrad was AEG your employer at the time the alleged crime took place?
Murray: No. They had drawn up a contract which I had not signed. Also they had not paid me at that point. So without a legal contract of employment and no monetary compensation I was not employed by AEG.
Walgren: Objection
Judge: Overruled.
Walgren: But I haven't stated why.
Judge: I really don't care why. You are starting to piss me off with objecting every fucking thing.
Walgren: But your honor.
Judge: Look, shut it. One more interruption without good reason and I will find you in contempt of court.
Walgren: That is bullshit.
Judge: What?
Walgren: Nothing.
Judge: That is what I thought. Now, continue Mr Chernoff.

Chernoff resumes questioning Conrad Murray.

Chernoff: So if AEG was not your employer why were you at the residence of Mr Jackson?
Murray: I'd rather not say.
Chernoff: OK. For the record let it state that Mr Conrad Murray was not employed by AEG, legally, as a personal physician for Mr Jackson. And therefore as he was not engaged in his legal duties as a doctor he is covered by the 'Good Samaritan' clause of law as established by the Supreme Court in California.
Walgren: Objection.
Judge: Overruled. As long as Mr Chernoff can prove that Mr Murray, or whoever he is, has documented proof.
Chernoff: Your honor I refer to evidence CM001A-B, the employment contract between AEG and Conrad Murray, which was retrieved by the LAPD on June 29, 2009 at the Jackson residence. You'll notice the lack of signatures on behalf of AEG. As both parties had not signed the contract it is in no way legally binding.
Judge: Ooh that is good. I did not see that one coming I'll admit.
Chernoff: Thank you your honor.
Judge: OK Mr Chernoff I'm going to indulge myself and allow the proposed argument; unless prosecution has anything to contradict it.
Walgren: No your honor. In the words of a well-known prostitute - we could be fucked here.
Judge: It would appear so. OK Mr Chernoff back to questioning.
Chernoff: The defense has no further questions at this time for the defendant.
Judge: Really? You are leaving it at that? OK if you say so. Mr Walgren your witness.

Prosecution starts to question Conrad Murray.

Walgren: Sir if you would state your full name for the record.
Judge: Michael Pastor.
Walgren: Sorry your honor I was addressing the defendant.
Murray: I plead the fifth amendment.
Walgren: So you cannot give the court your full name without incriminating yourself?
Murray: In a roundabout way that is correct.
Judge: Council we did this already. Just move on.
Walgren: But your honor.
Judge: The only but at the moment is you. Just get on with it.
Walgren: Anyway. So you plead the fifth on your name. Care to enlighten the court as to why?
Murray: Not really. Not at this time. It is none of your business.
Walgren: Talking of business. Just exactly what was you doing on the phone while Mr Jackson need you?
Murray: Actually I was taking care of business on behalf of Mr Jackson.
Walgren: Let me get this straight. While Mr Jackson is taking his last breaths you were completing the business affairs of Mr Jackson?
Murray: I never said they were his last breaths. You did. Surely you wouldn't want to be seen as badgering the witness?
Walgren: Mr Murray I'll ask the questions. Thank you.
Murray: You are welcome.
Walgren: So exactly what business were you taking care of?
Murray: Travel arrangements and the like.
Walgren: So your client, and alleged friend, is dying and you want to arrange travel?
Murray: You have some fixation that Michael was dying. Where did you get that idea?
Walgren: Mr Murray the world saw the ambulance picture. The world saw Mr Jackson being stretchered to the helicopter.
Murray: The world saw what it wanted to see. Even my good friend Brian Oxman has declared the ambulance picture as a fake; a hoax if you will.
Walgren: So you are suggesting that Mr Michael Jackson was not in the ambulance?
Murray: I'm not suggesting anything. I'm telling you Michael Jackson was not in that ambulance.
Walgren: So who was Mr Murray?
Murray: That is confidential.
Walgren: Objection your honor. The defendant must answer the question.
Judge: Overruled. Move on. I don't care for this line of questioning. Valuable drinking time is being wasted. Let us just agree to disagree.
Walgren: Your honor I must protest.
Judge: Protest all you want. My court my rules. If you don't like it don't play in my court.
Walgren: This is highly irregular.
Judge: Mr Walgren we are not here to discuss court procedures. Either you question the defendant or sit down and shut the hell up.
Walgren: So Mr Murray when you went to the UCLA emergency room ...
Judge: (Laughing)
Walgren: Your honor?
Judge: Sorry, but every time you I have heard UCLA mentioned I think of Mr Murray dressed as a construction worker doing the YMCA dance. Carry on.
Walgren: So Mr Murray when you were at the UCLA emergency room did you mention to anyone that Mr Jackson was alive, well, and elsewhere?
Murray: Are you fucking crazy? Do you even know what a fake or a hoax is?
Walgren: Yes I do.
Murray: So what is with the dumb questions?
Walgren: I'll ask the questions. Fuck it. The witness is excused. I don't see the point any more. As a public servant I command respect not to be treated like some court jester.
Judge: (Laughing) Court jester. That was a good one. OK if you are done with the defendant. We shall retire for the day and resume whenever I remember to.
Walgren: Yes your honor.
Chernoff: Thank you your honor.
Murray: OK I'm off down to the gym.
Judge: This court is adjourned until the blogger writes the second piece of this shit.


Cuss Count: Medium

Legal Notice: This court case has no bearing on the criminal proceedings against Conrad Murray. Nor does this blog offer any legal advice to Conrad or his attorneys. This post is satire; and should not be considered legal advice by anyone with two or more brain cells.


chris said...

i so admire you're wicked sense of humor! great post as usual.you're tweets are equally as funny!

Anonymous said...

agreed Chris.
waiting for the next court session:)

Anonymous said...

A good insight into future events....

And after all, LA golf course is just across Sunset from Carolwood. So it might not take to long for the judge....

Post a Comment