9/12/2010

Now Thats What I Call MJHD 2

Sony/ATV announced at a press conference today, in Los Angeles, the forthcoming album entitled "Now Thats What I call MJHD 2". The album is expected to go on sale on late October.

Jimmy Asci, a spokesman for Sony/ATV Music Publishing made the following statement: "After the success of Now Thats What I Call MJHD at various rummage sales, and garage sales, around the world; it was only inevitable that there would be a second album which Sony can make money off. But this time it is different, no really it is, we are releasing this as a mark of respect to say thanks to the people that have kept the hoax alive."

The album, produced by Sony, has the Executive Producers listed as Kenny Ortega, Michael Jackson, and Joe Jackson. The trio worked with some of the biggest names in both the music industry and the remix world to produce an album that will be in the stores just in time for Christmas.


Track Listing

01. Motorhead - The Game (Sony Scam Mix)
02. Electric Six - Gay Bar (Badkolo Bum Rush Mix)
03. Baha Men - Who Let The Dogs Out? (MJHDC Cuss Mix)
04. Eminem - Without Me (MJ Still Hidden Mix)
05. Babylon Zoo - All The Money's Gone (Jermaine Tribute Mix)
06. C&C Music Factory - Things That Make You Go Hmm (Brian Oxman Dirty Mix)
07. Britney Spears - Circus (Memorial Mix)
08. Jackson 5 - ABC (Keep It Simple Stupid Mix)
09. Yello - The Race (Nephew Ride Mix)
10. Kanye West - Gold Digger (Debbie Rowe Purse Mix)
11. Thompson Twins - We Are Detectives (Hoaxers United Mix)
12. Dope - Die Motherfucker Die (Justice4MJ Mix)
13. Snap - The Power (Illuminati nWo Mix)
14. Aqua - Roses Are Red (.NET Mix)

I sat with the trio to discuss the album.

Joe: Let me start by saying it is not just a Christmas album. It is also a great album for Hanukkah. Jews have money too. Actually think of any religious time and this album will enhance it. Maybe not the Jews. I heard they were tighter than Katherine with money. Hell all that money and she keeps wearing the same shit day in and day out.
Michael: Dad! That is just not right. The album is for everyone.
Joe: Yeah, everyone with $17 in their pocket. And don't be putting it on iTunes. One fucker buys it and then passes it on to everyone. Never did that shit with 8 tracks.
Kenny: Sorry, what was that? I was tweeting.
Joe: Aww hell, see the shit I have to put up with. If that boy was mine he'd have more respect I'd beat it in to him.
Kenny: This album will be available on iTunes at the time of release.
Joe: Fuck. Might as well stand outside, on the corner, giving it away. I aint going to make money out of this.
MJHDC: So there are some tracks on the album people may not have considered. Why those tracks?
Michael: A diverse set of tracks were considered. We chose these final tracks because we all felt they represented what the album was about most.
Joe: What? Represent what? Gay clowns, lesbians, flowers, and your lazy brother Jermaine. What does the represent? It is bullshit that Sony hopes will sell enough to make us all rich.
Kenny: That is funny. Let me tweet it.
Joe: Why did your parents let you live?
Kenny: Sorry, I was tweeting. What was that?
Joe: Never mind.
MJHDC: There is one track on the album, Motorhead - The Game (Sony Scam Mix), how did that make it pass Sony?
Michael: Sony gave us full rights and full discretion. And my father met with Sony and explained once the final tracks were ready. And they were happy with the choices we made.
Joe: You believe that fucking shit if you want Michael. The truth is I had a list which was edited for Sony's approval. We had the track listed as Sonny Scam Mix and I said it was a tribute to Sonny and Cher. Dumb fucks fell for that shit. When it went to the printers the real version was in place. I pulled the wool over Sony's eyes big time. Years of practice as a pimp paid off.
Michael: But Dad that is being less than honest. We should always be honest. That is part of my message to the world.
Joe: Messages to the world don't put food on the table.
Kenny: I like that. I'll tweet it.
Michael: Kenny can you put your phone down just for a few minutes?
Kenny: Let me just tweet a BRB to my followers.
Joe: Give me that fucking phone. (grabs phone) You'll get it back when we are done.
Kenny: (crying) That is not fair.
Joe: Nor is the hair on my ass. Here's a quarter call someone who cares. By the way you owe me a dollar I have to put interest on.
Michael: (giggling) He used to do that with me when I got an allowance. I'm still paying the interest.
MJHDC: So Michael when will the hoax be over?
Michael: Well right now I've been reading all the numerology about the hoax. And I'll make my comeback once it is all proven to be wrong. Its kind of like the second coming of Jesus - you can't predict it. But don't read any religious sentiments into that.
Joe: Let me interrupt. You run a shitty ass blog right?
MJHDC: Well it is a blog. Not sure about the shitty bit though.
Joe: Well anyway. You think my golden egg is going to give some exclusive to a shitty blog? And he doesn't know when he'll be back. I decide shit like that. I made him I can do it again whenever I feel like it. And he won't be back until the wrongful death lawsuit is settled. I got to get my money first.
Kenny: Can I get my phone back?
Joe: No.
Kenny: Well in that case, I'd just like to add that Michael will be returning. And we have started work on a second film. Kind of like This Is It but funnier. Think of it as This Is It meets Benny Hill. It is called Hoax This!
Joe: Will you shut the fuck up. I'm going to beat your ass if you say anything else. Who let this white boy get involved?
MJHDC: Well thanks for talking with me. Any messages or that for the fans?
Joe: Yeah buy more Jackson shit. I don't give a fuck if Michael, Marlon, or even Jermaine did it. Just keep buying that stuff so I get my cut. I got suits to buy. Young women to impress. You think Katherine puts out? Hell, only if you take a Watchtower first.
Michael: I'd just like to thank the fans for their continued support and belief in me. I'll see you all soon. And remember I love you more.
Kenny: Can I have my phone back now?
Joe: For $20 you can. Hang on you got a call. I'll answer it for $5.

The album Now Thats What I Call MJHD 2 is expected to be the stocking filler that all hoaxers will be asking for.

Peace.

Cuss Count: High

Legal Notice: Nobody, except MJHDC, had anything to do with this post. If you think it is real you may want to seek help. Michael, Joe, and Kenny may be teaming up as the new Three Stooges for a run on Broadway; but that is unconfirmed. Please note this post is satire.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

It cracks me up really I like it!! sooo funny I like your sense of humor you have a good imagination keep up the good work ! I am also your follower!!)))))

nens said...

Loved the post!!!
Love nens

Anonymous said...

LMAO!

Anonymous said...

when is your book being published????? xxx

MJHD Conspiracy said...

Anonymous said: "when is your book being published????? xxx"

The day after hell freezes over. LOL. It has to be the day after as on the day I'll be down there fixing pipes and stuff.

Anonymous said...

No bonustracks on this one?
Maybe a idea for the next album?

"Fools Gold" ( yellow brick road remix) from the Stone Roses.

"Your own personal Jesus" (TIAI "I make u a believer" edition) from Marilyn Manson.

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