Michael Jackson Tweets

As I am sure many of you are aware not only is Michael Jackson alive and well he is tweeting his little white socks off.

Sorry, but he isn't tweeting.

Let us all get on the magical bus and take a virtual time-travel journey to 100 North Carolwood Drive on June 25, 2009. Michael fakes his death and has the worlds media watching every step of it unravel a little bit at a time. Yes, the whole fucking world was watching, within 24 hours almost everyone in the world had seen the infamous pictures of the ambulance leaving the home of Michael Jackson.

Hope you enjoyed the tour. Now anyone who has tweeted to someone thinking it to be Michael Jackson, a friend of Michael Jackson, or an insider who worked with Michael Jackson and is telling you clues via Twitter, can get the fuck off the bus. This bus is heading for reality and you obviously are not ready for reality.

No matter if you think Michael is alive or is dead the one thing that nobody can argue with is that Michael Jackson was a megastar. Everyone knows who he is. Doesn't matter if you live in the middle of some African jungle, with no TV, or radio, you know who Michael Jackson is. If you live in the middle of a desert with no water, no electric, and only a passing camel to call traffic you still know who Michael is.

Through the process of rational thought we, together, have proven that Michael is famous the world over. So what makes any of you monkey lovers think that Michael is going to comeback, or announce his comeback, through Twitter?

Seriously a tweet comes from @TheRealMJ saying "Hi this Michael Jackson but twitter hasn't verified my account because they think I am dead." and you jump up and down, all giddy that Michael Jackson is tweeting to you. Wake up smell the coffee, and accept that injection of reality from Conrad Murray. Michael is not tweeting you. Chances are Michael will never tweet you.

Then we have all the friends and insiders that are tweeting cryptic clues to when Michael is coming back. Once again it is not going to happen. Do you really think that Michael Jackson is telling someone to give cryptic clues as to when he is coming back?

Michael: Hey Dave can you tell the people on Twitter when I am coming back?
Dave: Sure I'll do it right now Michael.
Michael: No wait, don't just tell them. Make them add some numbers up and then they will have to work out what the numbers mean.
Dave: Couldn't we just tell them?
Michael: Yeah we could but let us have a little fun first. Make them work for it.
Dave: That is no way to treat your fans.
Michael: True.
Dave: Why are we announcing in Twitter any way?
Michael: We are not. Do you realize the amount of effort that went into this hoax? Think I'm going to announce it on Twitter to someone following 17 other Michael Jacksons?
Dave: Well you did say ...
Michael: I was making a point.

But we don't have to just worry about the mentality of these people following the 17 Michael Jacksons we have to worry what are the motives of the people pretending to be Michael Jackson, his friends, and the insiders? Is it loneliness? Is it that their own real life is so pathetic that they can only get enjoyment in their miserable lives by
fooling people?

There is a real Michael Jackson Twitter account it is @michaeljackson - it is verified and is linked to the official Michael Jackson website which surprisingly is www.michaeljackson.com - there is no other Twitter account for Michael Jackson.

So now we have the real account who are the fakes?

@TheRealMJackson, 0 tweets, following 27, 26843 followers.
@MJJackson1958, 11 tweets, following 20, 3727 followers.
@mj0898, 0 tweets, following 77, 484 followers.
@themikeofficial, 4427 tweets, following 558, 5909 followers.
@mikejackson, 0 tweets, following 0, 16 followers.
@MichaelJune2010, 3285 tweets, following 426, 1409 followers.
@thisisalmostit, 61 tweets, following 30, 680 followers.
@RealKingOfPOp, 3 tweets, following 3, 974 followers.

We have a possible 40,000 delusional people that think Michael Jackson is tweeting. And that is not even including all the crackheads and dumb losers that are claiming to give clues about where Michael is; and when he is coming back.

Think about it. The man is a superstar, known throughout the world, and has faked his death; and now he is going to sit and tweet to just anybody that will follow him? I don't think so.


Legal Notice: Twitter owns the fail whale until some Japanese whaling boat captures it.


Anonymous said...

Thank you! I hope they listen to you. People need to wake up & realize Michael is not on Twitter, not in a chat room, not on a forum. Stop feeding the fantasies, they only grow larger.

You crack me up as always! I enjoy reading your blogs!

Thank you for all the laughs Oompa!

Yours forever,
Wonka ;)

Anonymous said...

All those 40,000 twits huh..

WhatTheDeuce said...

LMAO! You are the voice of common sense in the hoax community, Doggie! Great post.

Anonymous said...

well said I wish people would use some common sense and stop believe everything they read on twitter and I wish they would stop twitting people would know MJ they are not going tell you if he fake his death or not

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Very interesting post! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Too much (especially money) is involved in the hoax (if MJ faked his death) for him to come back.

Besides, being anonymous could be quite a nice adventure or an opportunity.

Anonymous said...

Haha, another great blog! You may not make hoax videos and and worry about popularity contests, but as someone else said, you truly are the voice of reason in the hoax. And you're hilarious to boot. I hope people read this and get off that Twitter crap kick.

Anonymous said...

And that is why i moved on from the hoax.
However i do from time to time check up on it and see what's going on.
But i make sure to stop here first.
Thanks for some useful Insight.

Anonymous said...

Michael is coming back.

Anonymous said...

I bet at least one of the fake Michaels is Maura. She get's off on it, since she lives a lonely, loveless life. In response to Maura's ever so popular statement, "Get like me"....or is it, "git lykhe mee"? The bitch can't spell, so I get confused when I quote her. Anyhoo, in response to that.........."No, thank you...not in infinity years."

anonymous 3 said...

@anon May 21 7:04 AM
Hmm... git lykhe mee.. sounds just like the quotes in this article: http://michaeljacksonhoaxforum.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?f=97&t=8148
It's got nothing to do with spelling but Mo lives in Friesland and what you're quoting is nothing more but Frisian and Leeuwarden is the capital of Friesland, this newspaper is the most important one in that part of the Netherlands.....
Hmm ... anyone an M&M??.....hahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Yes it is true. I have said it before & I'll say it again. Even if June 25, 2009 never happened Michael WOULD NOT be tweeting to some random fan. Period. But I suggest that you should add yourself to the deluded list as well. Michael did not fake his death. He did indeed die. The autopsy is proof. The autopsy list things about Michael's medical health that was not known to the general public.

Also, there is also the emotional factor. Approximately 12 souls gave up their lives to be w/ Michael on "the other side". Michael was a lover of life... ALL LIFE... be it good or bad. Do you really think that he would in good conscience continue living knowing full well that other people gave up their lives just for him? That alone would mentally push him over the edge. He might even take his own life knowing that. Please shut down this site. Stop giving false hope to the hopeless. You say that it's cruel to electronically impersonate him? True. But it is just as cruel to say that he's alive & he faked his death giving said delusional fools hope for something that won't come true. So you are no better. & Even if by the SLIMMEST chance that he did fake his death (& you want to keep believing that) please consider him OFFICIALLY RETIRED from the music industry. If he found peace thru this method, why on earth would you want to expose him. Homocide or psuedocide, if you really love him, do as his song suggest & "leave him alone". Michael is gone. Period.

MJHD Conspiracy said...

Anonymous said: "Approximately 12 souls gave up their lives to be w/ Michael on "the other side". Michael was a lover of life... ALL LIFE... be it good or bad. Do you really think that he would in good conscience continue living knowing full well that other people gave up their lives just for him?"

This would be based on the report by Gary Taylor that 12 fans committed suicide. In which Gary Taylor is quoted as saying "In Michael's name let's live together as brothers and sisters and not die apart as fools." So, the head of the worlds largest online MJ community even thinks it is foolish.

And can any person take responsibility for another persons actions? Sorry, but if someone is going to commit suicide because a superstar dies it kind of means they were unstable anyway.

Plus no report available actually names these 12 people. Not that the media would sensationalize something to sell more papers, get more viewers or hits to a website. Don't forget MJ himself said just because it is in print doesn't make it gospel.

As for the autopsy, and subsequent report being proof that MJ is most definitely dead. Many hoax investigators have been through this. The blog done by one such investigator (http://xscapemj.blogspot.com/) goes into really great detail, with real knowledge about the subject, on the autopsy.

As for deluding others. This blog is merely my opinion and sense of humor. People read it, and comment, I do not force any opinion on anyone. If people believe that MJ is alive that is their own opinion.

Many hoax theories suggest other superstars have hoaxed their deaths in the past (Elvis, Jim Morrison, Tupac) and their fans didn't run out and off themselves. So if a few delusional MJ fans are going to off themselves because they believe he is dead that is their choice - and in all honesty it is the wrong choice. Not because he is alive, because dead or alive, he would not have been such an influence on their lives that they should end it because they believe he is dead.

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