3/08/2010

Michael Jackson In The Bible

Forget Jesus, forget Mary of Magdalene, you can almost even forget God. Because the truth of the matter is that the Bible was written purely for Michael Jackson to hoax his death.

I know there will be some people scoffing at the idea that the Bible contains any reference at all to Michael Jackson - but pick up your Bible (Modern King James Version) and check for yourself.

Daniel 10:21 - "But I will show you that which is written in the Scripture of Truth. And there is none who holds strongly with me in these things, but Michael your ruler."

Daniel 12:1 - "And at that time Michael shall stand up, the great ruler who stands for the sons of your people. And there shall be a time of trouble, such as never was since there was a nation; until that time. And at that time your people shall be delivered, every one that shall be found written in the book."

Revelation 12:7-8 - "And there was war in Heaven. Michael and his angels warring against the dragon. And the dragon and his angels warred, but did not prevail. Nor was place found for them in Heaven any more."

That is just three examples of where the Bible mentions Michael Jackson. This is just scratching the surface. There are tons of examples mentioning Michael hoaxing his death and returning.

Daniel 11:9 - "So the king of the south shall come into his kingdom, and shall return into his own land."

Daniel 11:29 - "At the time appointed he shall return and come against the south. But it shall not be as the former or as the latter."

Hosea 5:15 - "I will go; I will return to My place until they confess their guilt and seek My face; in their affliction they will seek Me diligently."

Matthew 12:44 - "Then he said, I will return into my house from where I came out. And when he has come, he finds it empty, swept, and decorated."

It is easy to see that the whole Bible has been nothing more than two thousand years leading up to Michael hoaxing his death. Daniel 11:9 says "return to his own land" - could this indicate Michael returning to Neverland? Daniel 11:29 says "At the appointed time" - does this suggest that this hoax has been planned and a return is already known? Hosea 5:15 and Matthew 12:44 also point to the fact that Michael may indeed return to Neverland; which will be "empty, swept, and decorated."

With such undeniable evidence how can the masses even doubt that the Bible is written with Michael's hoaxed death in mind?



Peace.

Legal Notice: This post was created with satirical humor in mind. No blasphemy was intended but if any happened then if God exists then may he or she have mercy on my wretched hell-bound soul.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Its deffo MJ that is referenced in the bible...Michael Jordan the almighty!!!

WhatTheDeuce said...

Conspiracy said: "Forget Jesus, forget Mary of Magdalene, you can almost even forget God. Because the truth of the matter is that the Bible was written purely for Michael Jackson to hoax his death."

LMFAO! God, if there's one thing that annoys me to no end IS religious nuts. They are everywhere on the world wide web! I'm getting tired of these people always bringing their crap to the investigation, but it sure is entertaining to read their "theories"... xD

Loved the video, hehehe... Oh, and by the way, how come you never posted your "Build a Bullshit Metter" video on the blog? That thing is hilarious! :)

anonymous 3 said...

LOOL @ Anon 9:39 AM

to.fatima said...

after unveiling of the truth about the bible revelations pointing to clues regarding MJ hoax death, I think all religions should united & start looking for clues in their holly books..LMAO..this could be humanity's only chance in standing united on the issue of religion. lol

on a separate note, did u watch GMA this morning interviewing Michael's 3 bodyguards. They said that his favorite disguise was the burn vicitim disguise..*scratches head & rubs chin* now where else have we seen a burn victim in this whole saga? or maybe am reading too much into this LOLzzzz, well if the bible could hold clues why not Dave Dave..

MJHD Conspiracy said...

@WhatTheDeuce

The Bullshit Meter video was just an idea, I uploaded it to Youtube but never put it on the blog because there was too much bullshit that it could go with and I could never decide which post to put it with.

For those who haven't seen it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVXU7Ct8iLg

Diana Jean said...

If there's one thing that bothers me the most about this hoax, it's the people who think the bible has anything to do with this. Aswell as the people who refuse to believe Michael was only human.

Michael Jackson is not mentioned in the bible, nor does his "death" have anything to do with the end of the world.

If the people who think Michael is mentioned in the bible would attend a bible study every now and then maybe I would have more respect for them. They have no clue what their talking about.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! I can´t stop laughing XD XD XD

Gema

Anonymous said...

Ha! Ha! Ha! A mourir de rire. Mais c'est aussi que Michael commence par la lettre M, Mim comme Moïse ou Mohammed. Mim, la marque des prophètes qui se tiennent toujours sous la lettre à valeur 40....La scène du buisson ardent revisitée?

S'adresser à Madonna qui peut en dire certainement davantage sur cette explication. Ah, ce petit fil rouge qu'elle porte au poignet tout comme Michael d'ailleurs.....

WhatTheDeuce said...

@ Diana Jean:

Ahh, so true... I went to Sunday school when I was a kid and my teacher never mentioned Michael Jackson, LOL. Well, but the S&M members say so, so it must be true! Hahaha.

Those people are treating Michael like he's the saviour of mankind, the second coming of Jesus, the Archangel Michael, etc. Talk about SAD! xD

Anonymous said...

Seriously, i love MJ and im a huge huge fan, but he is not God! He was a human being with a God given gift that he used to try and heal the world. He wanted to be God like but he is NOT God n its not him they are talking about in the Bible

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