3/15/2010

Conrad Drives Me Crazy

At a press conference today, held in downtown Los Angeles, Britney Spears announced a new project she is working on with none other than Dr. Conrad Murray.

"I have seen him on the news, and I was like, who is that guy? and my kids told me it was Dr. Murray. I was like well who is he? They explained things to me. Then my agent contacted Conrad's agent and we decided to do a drug awareness song together." Said Britney at the press conference.

Britney's manager, Jason Trawick, said "Britney is trying to clean up her image. She has been in and out of rehab for a couple of years and her image just needs tweaking to get her back in the mainstream media again. Britney felt doing a drug awareness song with Conrad Murray was a great idea. We tried to talk her out of it but she was as high as a kite - so we let it go."

Ed Chernoff, speaking on behalf of Conrad Murray, who was unable to attend, said "Conrad hopes this raises awareness of how drug misuse can happen to anyone and not just incompetent doctors. He is hoping that this record makes money and looks good for the judge."

A source at Jive Records, who wishes to remain anonymous, said "Seriously, you couldn't make this shit up. I thought I was half-baked when I heard about it. Then when Murray turned up at the studio it was just so fucking surreal. I did notice a little bit of a spark between the two; so who knows maybe romance. Can you make the check out to Tice Merriweather?"

Although the song is being guarded 24/7 as a top secret until the video is shot later this month our anonymous source, Tice, did release to us the lyrics.

Conrad Drives Me Crazy


Britney:
Conrad

ohh
ohh

Conrad, I'm so dependent on you
You got that propofol, what can I do?
Conrad, you inject me in the arm ohh
My head is spinning, don't do me no harm.

Conrad:
Every time I look at you
I see money for the things I do

Chorus by Britney:
Please help me Conrad
I just cant sleep
I'm so drugged up, I'm in too deep
Ohh...Conrad, you make me feel alright
Conrad, your drugs help me sleep at night

Conrad:
Britney, Your so dependent on me
That im the only doctor you will see
Britney, my account is in the red
I'll do CPR on your soft bed

Every time I look at you
I see money for the things I do

[Repeat Chorus by Britney]

Britney:
Help me Conrad, I just can't sleep
Conrad

Help me Conrad baby
With drugs I'm in too deep
...You make me feel alright
Conrad, your drugs help me sleep at night


[Repeat Chorus by Britney]

Please help me Conrad
You make me feel alright
Conrad, your drugs help me sleep at night

The record is expected to be released in May; with an unspecified amount of the sales going to various drug charities.

Britney & Conrad - Could romance be blooming?

Peace.

Legal Notice: Britney Spears has no romantic link to Conrad Murray or Janet Jackson would rip her throat out. Nobody really appeared at the press conference which is good as it is merely satire.

2 comments:

WhatTheDeuce said...

Laughing. My. Fucking. Ass. Off.

That song is brilliant! Seriously Dog, you should write for Saturday Night Live. And as usual, I just LOVE your legal notices! xD

WhatTheDeuce said...

"I have seen him on the news, and I was like, who is that guy? and my kids told me it was Dr. Murray. I was like well who is he? They explained things to me."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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