Google And The New World Order

Over at the S&M concentration camp they seem to have run out of musical stars to blame the Illuminati on; which is a pity as I was waiting with bated breath for the exposing of the Backstreet Boys as nothing more than Illuminati masters and then finding out that as Justin Timberlake was the successful one he must be the Illuminati kingpin.

But alas, it is no longer the musical superstars that are being picked on as Illuminati masters or slaves but Google.

Seriously, there is a thread entitled "Illuminati Symbol On Google". No shit. If you go to image search and type in "Illuminati symbol" there is actually thousands of them - actually 72,600 (with SafeSearch turned off).

So the search engine giant is nothing more than an Illuminati plot to control us all. There is only one problem with this theory - that being that if you type "Illuminati Secrets" into Google it gives you 944,000 results (once again with safe search off).

Now as this mystical Illuminati are supposed to be all-powerful, all-knowing, and really clever would it not make sense that Google would block searches for "Illuminati Secrets" rather than just revealing everything to the world and his brother? And if Google are indeed tied in with the whole Illuminati scam then they won't be for much longer.

Illuminati Leader: Excuse me Google can I have a word?
Google: Sure thing Master.
Illuminati Leader: Something very disturbing has been brought to my attention.
Google: What is that Master? I swear that virgin we sacrificed was a virgin. Dave, told me his brother went parking once with her but nothing happened.
Illuminati Leader: What? Oh her, yes I am sure she was. No it was another matter.
Google: If it is about that owl statue I was nowhere near it when it got knocked over. I'm thinking Beyonce with her big booty did that.
Illuminati Leader: Beyonce? What are you gibbering about?
Google: Oh, you didn't know about the statue?
Illuminati Leader: No. What I am concerned with is your lack of secrecy.
Google: Hey? I never told your wife you wear lace underwear beneath your robes.
Illuminati Leader: No. Shut up, I mean the secrets of the brotherhood.
Google: Sorry Master but you have lost me.
Illuminati: I was at your search engine and I typed in Illuminati Secrets and got 944,000 results detailing all our plans.
Google: It is a complex algorithm so 944,000 results is good. Did you try some of the more complex searches?
Illuminati Leader: No I didn't. You can't be telling people are plans and secrets.
Google: That is what a search engine does. People look for things and I help them find it. You want Britney Spears naked I can find you 1,120,000 links in less than a second.
Illuminati Leader: I don't care if that washed up hag is naked or not. I must ask you to turn your robe in.
Google: What? My robe? But I didn't do anything.
Illuminati Leader: You gave our plans and secrets to all those that looked for them.
Google: Sorry about that. OK fair enough. I'll go. I'm Google I'll start my own Illuminati - maybe I will call it Goominati.
Illuminati Leader: Get out, and never darken these hallowed halls again.

(As Google is leaving he can be heard muttering under his breath)

Google: Good job he never checked the book search, 2,910 books on this place.


Legal Notice: There is no proof that Google is attached to the Illuminati and as they host this blog it would be stupid to say so without proof. Google is not a person and therefore does not really speak. Illuminati Leader is a real person, Rothschild, who had nothing to do with this post.


Anonymous said...

hahah u funny!

Anonymous said...

LMFAO! This is seriously one of the funniest things I've ever read on your blog! You rock, Conspiracy! :)

Honestly, I don't get why are they still calling the Illuminati a "secret" organization. Seems like there's nothing secret about them - you just have to google the Illuminati to find all you need about them, right? Hahaha. Anyway, Google has saved my life a million times so I'll make sure to join the Goominati! LOL

Anonymous said...

GOOMINATI - lmfao!! you're awesome man!

Diana Jean said...

Wow. That thread is too funny for words.
I know someone who works for Google, maybe I should stop talking to them considering their trying to take over my mind.

Anonymous said...

is backstreet boys illuminati too?

Admin said...

Hey Anonymous,

I was curious so I googled if the Backstreet Boys had any connection. Nothing specific but the whole music industry is allegedly all Illuminati ... http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=59994 ... Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

The greatest conspiracy of all is the one that hides out in the open and is so unbelievable that no one believes its a conspiracy at all. People don't want to believe the truth. Even if you show it to them 944,000 times.

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