The Notebook Of Michael Jackson

Yesterday, it was announced that a notebook was found, reportedly belonging to Michael Jackson, in a bookstore in Germany. The one thing that makes this stand out among other writings from Michael Jackson is that it is supposedly written after his reported death.

Dieter Ehrlichmann, of Dresden, said: "I was looking for a particular book. It is a very old book. It is called 'Der Schiess-Sport und seine Regeln'. Well I never found it. The bookstore said they could not order it either. But as I was looking at the shelves of dusty old books I noticed this light blue notepad. I pulled it out from the shelf and the cover read 'Michael's Notebook - Do Not Look Inside'; being German the first thing I did was look inside. It appears to be notes written by Herr Michael Jackson. But as I read some of the pages the notes were dated after he was dead."

Although the notepad has not officially been verified in any way the Michael Jackson Estate has already filed papers restricting the sale, or reproduction, of the notepad. John Branca said: "This is obviously not the work of Michael Jackson, but at the same time we don't want this sort of thing flooding the market as if it was. So, we have ensured for the time being that the notebook is never made public."

Amazon spokeswoman, Patty Smith, went on record saying: "I know that the Jackson Estate is trying to make sure that nobody reads this as it blows the lid off of the whole idea that Michael Jackson is dead. But what they seem to be forgetting is that if this notebook is proven to be real then the world has a right to see it. That is why Amazon, along with other reputable publishers intend to challenge this ridiculous legal move to stop the reproduction. We are interested in getting this to the public; so that they can decide."

Although reproduction and sale of the notebook has been temporarily halted below is a few extracts that were noted by Dieter Enrlichmann before handing the notebook over to a representative of the Michael Jackson Estate:

"June 26, 2009 - Seems odd to be dead. First time I have been able to wake without the media wondering what I was eating for breakfast. At least now Jermaine will stop calling asking for money; it is not my fault he cannot hold back long enough to put a condom on. I pay for my own children why should I pay for his? Anyway enough writing I'm heading to Walmart to get some less suspicious clothes. The woman across the road noticed my white socks and fedora hat. I had to lie to her and tell her I was ECasanova. She didn't know who he was."

"July 7, 2009 - Watched my own memorial, well most of it as TBS had a Family Guy marathon on, cannot believe that Jermaine sang Smile. I really liked that song. But not anymore. Every time I hear it now it will make me think of Jermaine looking like he is straining on the toilet. Nice to see Mom wearing something other than blue; but I would have had a nice hat to finish the outfit off."

"August 8, 2009 - There is a forum about me hoaxing my death. It is run by some woman who wears adult diapers. Why? I don't know. I think this forum is pretty good but the way it is being handled it will most likely go down the tubes very fast. It looks like something Jermaine would try and set up."

"March 6, 2010 - Why are people so stupid? Obviously if you are running a hoax death website the Illuminati didn't kill me. That doesn't even make any sense. Called Dad; didn't say anything but it was good to hear his voice. Not sure who the woman who answered the phone was but it definitely wasn't Mom."

One note that Dieter remembered vividly was a recent entry concerning a comeback.

"March 22, 2011 - Read online that Jermaine is writing a book. What the hell? Wasn't even sure that Jermaine could form complete sentences without help from his many kids. I wasn't planning on coming back until July; but if he releases a book full of lies I might have to come back early just to defend myself."

Although the notebook has still not been verified it has given hope to those that believe Michael Jackson is still alive.

Peace.

Cuss Count: Zero

Legal Notice: This post is satire. Dieter Enrlichmann, John Branca, Patty Smith, and Michael Jackson had nothing to do with this post. Surprisingly there is no notebook found. This post is not connected with any news agency; nor is it sponsored.

Twitter Stories

I, along with many others, have always considered the 140 character limit set by Twitter as very restrictive in the creativity that exists with the users of Twitter. There is only so much that can be squeezed into 140 characters.

I know that services such as TwitLonger exist which ultimately allow an almost indefinite characters; but they do not really allow any interaction between users. It is a case of one person writes a long speech, statement, or tweet and everybody else reads it; and at the most comments on it with the 140 character limit.

Other than conversations the one thing Twitter misses out on is collaboration between users.

This idea was being discussed in a TinyChat chat room and the following was put forth - Twitter Stories.

It is basically a 21st century version of an old idea. Back when you were younger there was this game, when you were bored, where you wrote one line of a story and folded the paper over so the next person could not see what you wrote; and then they wrote a line, folded the paper, and passed it on to the next person. This continued until everyone had wrote at least one line, the sheet of paper was full, or everyone found something better to do.

Admittedly, when it was finished most of it made no sense; but for some reason reading it back all as one 'story' there was always the humor factor - seems nobody actually knew what anybody else had written.

The Twitter version, which is being done, goes along the same lines more or less. The first person tweets at someone with the first line; then that person tweets at somebody else with the second line and so on. The only difference with the Twitter version, from what I have seen, is a unique hash tag at the end of each line.

It is easier to show an example rather than try to explain it:

Which reads as: "Once upon a time there was a three-legged dog. Who in his spare time was a superhero with incredible powers. At the bank there was a crime in progress and the dog heard it." - Not very exciting, or humorous so far but it is merely the beginning.

The reason for the hash tag (#st00HNN) at the end of each tweet is so that it can be searched for using the Twitter Search. And this, from what I have seen, is because not everyone follows the exact same people. For example I follow people that neither @mj_conspiracy or @kingofpopart follow.

Anyway, when it was being discussed there were a few 'rules' to think about:

• Twitter search does not display protected accounts in search results.
• There is no point tweeting a line to someone who is never online.
• Most celebrities, but not all, will not get involved - so if it goes to a celebrity it may kill the story.

Other than that it seems as though anything goes. So if you are on Twitter, and bored, it might be worth a shot - if just to waste a few minutes.

Peace.

Cuss Count: Zero

Legal Notice: None of the tweets shown actually exist they were just an example. @mj_conspiracy, @kingofpopart, @saucystaci do not endorse this idea; or post. This post is not affiliated with any news agency or source. And this post is not sponsored by Ferrari or Apple yet.

Jermaine Jackson Wants You To Kiss His Ass

I awoke this morning, and after waking up with enough coffee to sink a small boat, and checked on Twitter. I was blocked by Jermaine Jackson.

I had to laugh, really I laughed, I couldn't care less. But thinking about why he would block me now compared to all the other things I said got me thinking about Jermaine Jackson's true purpose on Twitter.

Taking a step; back let me explain. A few days ago Jermaine started tweeting concerning a tribute and truth. And like many others I started taking wild stabs in the dark to what the hell he was on about. Admittedly, my first thought was that Jermaine was going to do another tribute concert. About 4 tweets later I jokingly put that it was going to be a book.

Well, lo and behold, it is a book.

I like many others felt this was Jermaine cashing in. Everyone thought the same when Rabbi Shmuley wrote his book; and many others who have written books since June 25, 2009. I even tweeted this idea that he was cashing in to Jermaine himself. And I got blocked.

Like I said I don't care. Jermaine has never tweeted anything that I cannot live without. But as I thought about it I looked into Jermaine writing a book. I remembered he had tried the same thing previously.

Back in 2006 there was a book proposal from Jermaine where he claimed: "Michael has 'a thing for young children' as well as a drug and alcohol problem that included a preference for Vicodin, Demerol, codeine, Percocet, cocaine, Jack Daniels and wine." Jermaine also claimed: "the former 'King Of Pop' paid former wife Debbie Rowe 'several million dollars' to bear two children fathered by a 'sperm donor'."

He also claimed: that their father Joe molested his sisters Rebbie and La Toya when they were children.

The proposal was withdrawn after Jermaine and other Jackson family members met to discuss its content and the effect that its publication could have. When Michael found out about the book he threatened to sue Jermaine and throw him out of the home he owns in Encino, California where Jermaine lives.

(Full article)

So when in 2011 Jermaine says he is going to be writing a book. You are damn right I am going to be skeptical about his reasons.

The guy is in court trying to get his child support payments down because he cannot afford them. So yeah, that does make it look like it is a case of cashing in. And like so many others, why didn't Jermaine write this book while Michael was able to defend what is said in this book? Was Jermaine worried that what he is writing is not the truth, and if Michael was able to say so he would prove Jermaine as a liar.

And let us not forget that Jermaine has been somewhat vocal on people cashing in on Michael's name and legacy. If he is not doing the same why leave it until 2 years after his brother's reported death to say what he feels?

So Jermaine blocked me for questioning his motives for releasing a book now. No big deal. But the old saying "Sometimes the truth hurts. And sometimes it feels real good." really fits.

I do not use my Twitter account to kiss ass. I just tweet what I think and what I see. And if Jermaine cannot handle the truth he might want to rethink writing a book because the media is going to be a lot harsher on the final resulting book than I was.

So if Jermaine wants a flock of sheep that will follow, and kiss his ass, he can have them. But when people question him he should actually think of the things he has done in the past. Because his previous actions is the reason for questioning him now.

Peace.

Cuss Count: Zero

Legal Notice: This post is based on free speech and free thought. Also it is worth noticing that the denial of the 2006 book proposal was only after it was rumored Michael Jackson would sue Jermaine; and kick him out of the house that Michael owned.

Tweets You Will Never See

With an average of 140 million tweets sent each and every day; there are some tweets you just wish would, one day, turn up in your Twitter time line.

Here are just a few that people are waiting to see appear:

Michael Jackson:

TMZ:

Justin Bieber:

 Jermaine Jackson:

Nelson De La Nuez:

Charles Manson:

Lindsay Lohan:

Barack Obama:

Peace.

Cuss Count: Zero

Legal Notice: None of these tweets have taken place at the time of writing; as it is merely satire. Do not quote these quotes as being from the accounts. This post is satire; and is not connected to the real world or any news agency.

American Idol: The Jacksons

Just recently a unaired special of American Idol turned up. The unaired special features members of the Jackson family. Although, due to legal reasons, I am unable to supply any footage; but the full transcript is reproduced below.

Ryan: Welcome to American Idol, tonight coming live from Encino, California. A special for one night only; featuring Jermaine, Tito, Janet, and Joe Jackson. So without further ado - This is American Idol: The Jacksons.

[Title sequence]

Ryan: Introducing, as always, our expert panel of judges. Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez, and Randy Jackson.

[Judges walk in and take their seats; waving to the audience]

Ryan: So, what can we expect tonight?
Steven: Well obviously the talent is expected to be that much higher.
Randy: Hold up dawg. What about Joe?
Steven: I'm expecting big things from Joe.
Jennifer: So was I - but it wasn't ... oh you mean the show.
Ryan: Well the judges are already having differences. So let us introduce our first performer; Jermaine Jackson.

[Jermaine steps out of a cloud of fog]

Ryan: So Jermaine, what was it like growing up in the shadow of Michael?
Jermaine: I don't see it that way. A lot of the success Michael had was because of me.
Ryan: Really?
Jermaine: I taught Michael everything.
Ryan: If you say so. So why was you not as famous?
Jermaine: Michael got beat less than ...

[From offstage Joe Jackson is heard shouting: "Boy shut your mouth or I will come on that stage and whoop your ass."]

Jermaine: See what I mean.
Ryan: OK Jermaine. So what song are you going to be performing tonight?
Jermaine: Tonight Ryan I am going to be singing Jenny From The Block by the beautiful Jennifer Lopez.
Jennifer: Like hell you are.
Ryan: Seems at least one of the judges is doubting your ability.
Jermaine: I'll show them.
Ryan: OK, tonight Jermaine Jackson is Jennifer Lopez.

[Jermaine sings for about 20 seconds]

Randy: Hold up; hold up dawg. What was that?
Jermaine: Jenny From The Block.
Jennifer: Uh uh. No it wasn't.
Jermaine: Sure it was.
Jennifer: It is my song. I know how it should sound.
Randy: I wasn't feeling it dawg.
Jermaine: Can I try again?
Jennifer: What song would you kill this time?
Jermaine: Love In An Elevator by Aerosmith.
Steven: Like fuck you will.
Randy: Sorry dawg. It is just not happening. So Steven?
Steven: Yeah. What?
Randy: What do you think dawg?
Steven: No words can describe that performance. It would be a no from me.
Jennifer: [Through tears] I cannot believe what you did to my song. It is a no.
Randy: Sorry dawg. But it is 3 noes.

Ryan: So Jermaine, the judges were just not liking it.
Jermaine: What do they know. I'm famous. I was on Celebrity Big Brother.
Ryan: That is not really fame.
Jermaine: Sure it is. I was even thinking of doing an American Idol tribute.
Ryan: No.
Jermaine: Please?
Ryan: No Jermaine. Go home.

[From offstage Joe Jackson is heard shouting again: "Pick up some condoms on your way. Your Mom is sick and tired of paying for your kids. I should of done the world a favor when you was a kid and kicked you in the nuts."]

Ryan: We'll be right back.

[Commercial Break]

Ryan: Welcome back to American Idol: The Jacksons special. Coming up now is Tito Jackson.

[Tito steps out of a cloud of fog]

Ryan: Tito.
Tito: Yeah.
Ryan: No, I was just welcoming you. So what song are you doing tonight?
Tito: On The Roof Again by Eve 6.
Ryan: [Laughing] Will you have a taco with you?
Tito: What?
Ryan: You know what I mean - you always go on about being on the roof and eating tacos.
Tito: It is just a song. I cannot eat and sing.
Ryan: Um OK. Tonight Tito is going to be Eve 6.

[Tito sings for about 40 seconds]

Randy: Hold up dawg. Hold up dawg. How old are you?
Tito: I am 57 and holding.
Randy: Really dawg?
Jennifer: I liked it. At least it wasn't Jermaine killing one of my songs this time.
Steven: It was OK but you was all over the place with your pitch. It is a no from me.
Jennifer: It is a yes from me.
Randy: And it is a yes from me.
Steven: Wait a fucking minute here. So basically my vote does not count?
Randy: Of course it does dawg. Just it was 2 - 1.
Steven: You know I could be touring with Aerosmith?
Ryan: Well Tito the judges are split but you made it through.
Tito: Can I go back to the roof now?
Ryan: Sure.
Tito: Thanks.
Ryan: Two down and still two more to come right after this.

[Commercial Break]

Ryan: Welcome back. We have seen Jermaine and Tito and still to come Joe and Janet. Right now Joe Jackson.

[Joe steps out of a cloud of fog]

Joe: Do that again. Introduce me as Mr Jackson. Do it right or I am going to whoop your ass. Just because you are not my kid does not mean I cannot beat you.
Ryan: Really Joe?
Joe: Just do it. Don't make me take my belt off to you boy.
Ryan: Um. OK. Right now is Mr Jackson.

[Joe steps out of a cloud of fog again]

Joe: Now that is better.
Ryan: So Joe.
Joe: I'm taking my belt off.
Ryan: I mean Mr Jackson, what song are you going to be performing tonight?
Joe: Tonight I am going to be singing Thriller by my son Michael.
Ryan: Really?
Joe: Of course not. I am going to be doing Beat It. That has always been a favorite of mine.
Ryan: Figures.
Joe: Don't back chat me boy. Just introduce me.
Ryan: OK. Tonight, for one night only, Joe ... I mean Mr Jackson will be performing Beat It by Michael Jackson.

[Joe sings for about 15 seconds]

Randy: Hold up dawg. What was that?
Joe: Dawg? Last person to call me dawg ended up in the emergency room; it was Marlon. You can call me Mr Jackson or sir. I am not no dawg.
Randy: OK player.
Joe: That is it. You are going to feel my belt.
Randy: Look Mr Jackson it is a no from me.
Jennifer: And it is a no from ...
Joe: Woman who said you could speak? Did either of these men indicate you could? You know my wife? She knows how to behave. She ever steps out of line she feels the back of my hand.
Steven: Mr Jackson it is a no from me too.
Joe: Don't interrupt me when I am speaking. I'll whoop your ass too. That is it I am taking my belt off.

[Joe takes off his belt. His trousers fall around his ankles revealing silk Superman boxers. As he tries to pull his trousers up he is escorted off the stage by security]

Ryan: Only on American Idol. We'll be right back.

[Commercial Break]

Ryan: Welcome back. Our final performer tonight is Janet Jackson.

[Janet steps out of a cloud of fog]

Ryan: Welcome Janet.
Janet: My brother was murdered.
Ryan: Yes; the events were very tragic.
Janet: It is OK. He just faked his death.
Ryan: What?
Janet: My brother was murdered.
Ryan: But you just said. Never mind. Moving on. So, Janet what will you be singing tonight?
Janet: I'm going to be singing Papa Was A Rolling Stone by The Temptations.

[From offstage Joe Jackson is heard shouting yet again: "Girl you pay me respect. I'll beat you too; I don't care who is watching. Now where the hell is my belt?"]

Ryan: OK. Tonight Janet Jackson is The Temptations.

[Janet sings for a full 2 minutes]

Jennifer: [Crying] That was beautiful.
Steven: ooh Momma.
Randy: You knocked that one out of the park.
Jennifer: Everything was perfect. That is a definite yes from me.
Randy: You know I am not related; right?
Steven: Hey Dawg I saw her first.
Randy: Dawg dawg dawg dawg. She is not going to go with some wrinkled up old man.
Steven: Janet, here is the key to my hotel room. That is how you get a yes from me.
Randy: Damn I lost a sister to a white dude. Janet it is a yes from me anyway.
Janet: Thank you, thank you, do I have to let a nipple pop out now?
Ryan: Whoa. And on that note we bring a close to this special edition of American Idol. Janet Jackson is clearly the winner. Goodnight America.

[Ryan walks off drinking a Coke before getting into his Ford Fusion. Steven pops a Viagra pill and heads to the hotel. Randy is last seen scuffling with Joe; arguing about a birth certificate and shouting about "sowing wild oats"]

Peace.

Cuss Count: Minimal

Legal Notice: This post is satire. As such it is not connected with American Idol, The Jackson family, Coke, or Ford. HNN is in no way connected to any news agency. Ferrari still are not sponsoring so buy any car you want.