Where Is MJ?

Guest Report By: MJHDC

Seriously? You have to be fucking kidding? What butt-munching fucktard decided that Michael Jackson would reveal his location with some 2nd rate website?

George Santayana said: "Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to repeat it." and how right he fucking was.

Let us take a little tour down 'Hoax History Lane':

First stop. Joke Calms China gave some fucked up cryptic clues that Michael was in Germany. As soon as enough idiots had fallen for this joke a Myspace account was created. Surprisingly enough no proof or evidence that Michael Jackson was ever in Germany.

Second stop. The infamous Leahicm video; which came with the story that Michael had been in coma and was now on some security footage. Surprisingly enough that bullshit turned out to be bullshit also.

Third stop. InMySmallPaddedCell (actually InMySmallWay) turned up with some photos of Neverland which was proof that Michael Jackson was hiding out there. No he wasn't in any of the photos and no there was no proof. Yet again more bullshit.

Final stop. Some 2nd rate website (www.michaeljacksonfakeddeath.com) turns up saying Michael Jackson is on some little island in the middle of fucking nowhere. Yet again no proof of this claim. Yet more bullshit.

Do hoaxers, believers, investigators really think that Michael Jackson faked his death on international TV so he could have some fucktard announce his return on the Internet? Kind of fucks Bamsday right up the ass.

MJ: I'm back.
Person: Yeah and?
MJ: But I'm here.
Person: Yeah OK. But who cares?
MJ: What?
Person: We knew where you were. When you came back it was like you was returning from a vacation.
MJ: But this is Bamsday.
Person: If you say so.
MJ: Are you excited?
Person: Not really. Once the informer announced where you were, and TMZ started doing daily updates on your activities  it kind of ruined Bamsday for me.
MJ: Oh I see. Well I'll be off then.
Person: OK. Take care.
MJ: Fuck. Never should of revealed my whereabouts on the Internet.

I could say Michael Jackson is alive and well; and living in my basement. I have no proof of this but as the hoax has proven time and time again proof is not needed. And for those wondering - He is not really in my basement. There would be no room for him with the pile of dead bodies.

If you really think some shitty website is going to tell you where Michael Jackson is; then keep taking your medications. Just before you overdose your fucktard ass - stick a pin in an atlas and see where he will be next week.

Newsflash: Michael Jackson is on Twitter. He is also on Facebook. You want to know where he is why not just ask him; or one of the hundreds of fake MJs and informers?

Peace.

Cuss Count: High

Legal Notice: MJHDC was not paid for his opinion. Hoax News Network is not affiliated with any real news agency.