Katherine The Prankster

Katherine Jackson is slowly becoming the prankster of the Jackson family; as well as the matriarch.

In her latest prank she released Opus None to TMZ; which was later to be found was just another prank in a long line of pranks from Katherine.

An in-depth investigation reveals that Katherine's harmless pranks may just be getting out of hand; and the family has had enough.

Jermaine Jackson said: "Oh man, she can be pure evil sometimes. Last year I getting ready for a meeting to go and discuss financial backing for the Vienna tribute for Michael I was planning. I was running a little late and wasn't paying too much attention. I got ready in time but something didn't feel right - but I had no time to dwell on it. Well as I was driving my cell phone rang. I pulled over to the side as I answered it. It was my Mom; Katherine. She asked me how I was and I told her I was fine but in a rush. Then she just started laughing. I asked her what was funny but she just continued laughing. Well, I was looking in the rear view mirror, as I always do, and I went to run my fingers through my hair and it was like concrete - even harder than it usually is. I asked Mom why she was laughing and eventually she said she had swapped my hair gel for wood glue. She was still laughing when I hung up on her. Luckily, she didn't see the tears in my eyes or the pain in my heart."

Jermaine may not think it but he has got off lightly. Joe Jackson claims he is the target of many of Katherine's pranks:

"Damn that bitch. She's always fucking with my head. There are some days I don't know what to do. Last night is a perfect example. I'd brought this young woman home. Now don't be reading anything in to that - I'm promoting her. Well we went up to my bedroom, because I had left some papers up there, and this young woman says she is going to slip in to something a 'little more comfortable'. So, she goes in the room next door. Well, while she was gone I slipped in to my purple, silk, nightgown, took a little pill, and awaited her return. About 5 minutes later the door opens and she is standing there in Katherine's blue outfit, you know the one, well Viagra can only do so much. I saw that outfit and my 'little soldier' retreated. I could hear Katherine laughing her ass off in the room next door. I had to let the young woman go. See, Katherine doesn't realize the consequences of her pranks."

Katherine's pranks are not limited to just family members. Recently, Harvey Levin, of TMZ fame, recounted a story from a New Year's Eve party both he and Katherine attended. Harvey said: "It was back in 2004, and I was at this party in California. When it hit midnight everyone started the usual kissing of anybody that was about. I found myself in front of Katherine so I leaned forward to kiss her. I closed my eyes, and went for the kiss, and just as our lips met I felt Katherine's beard. I opened my eyes, in shock, but was even more in shock when I realized it was Arnie Klein I was kissing. Katherine was stood back a bit and laughing so hard she was holding on to Randy for support."

Asking Katherine about her pranks she just smiled and said "Jehovah forgives. It is all in good fun. I remember once Michael came over and he was trying to talk to me all serious so I suggested we go sit in the living room; where it is more comfortable. I sat on the couch and was seated so Michael had to sit on a particular chair. When he sat down the whoopee cushion made this awful farting sound. Michael jumped in such surprise that the chair tipped back and he fell on the floor. He was so angry for a few seconds, then he smiled, then he started laughing."

She continued "I think my best prank to date has been at the Kingdom Hall. One Saturday night I went in the Kingdom Hall and put up a few crucifixes. The next day you should have seen the Witnesses faces. I don't know how I managed to keep a straight face."

Although most of Katherine's pranks are harmless it would appear that there are legal implications to some of her pranks. Brian Oxman, attorney and friend of Joe Jackson, said "It amazes me how the media doesn't get a hold of some of these stories. But the legal implications of some of her pranks are crazy. Like when she drained Jermaine's brakes on his car. If he'd of died in a bad crash she would have had a murder charge against her. Luckily Jermaine only hit one of Oprah's production vehicles. So nothing was done. But one day I swear we will see Katherine in court on charges."

Not everyone is excited about Katherine's pranks. Some of the staff have complained. One of the bodyguards, who wished not to be named, stated: "One day I was walking through the house and I heard Katherine scream. I drew my gun and ran to where the scream came from. Katherine was sitting there with a stopwatch, laughing, and said it took me 23.21 seconds to get there she could of been dead by now. Well as I left the room, she shot me in the ass with a BB gun. It left a nasty bruise. I complained to my supervisor, but he just laughed. Somebody has to stop this sick woman."

Although Michael's kids refused to officially comment. When Katherine's pranks was mentioned to Blanket he just curled up in the fetal position and started whimpering.

So with Katherine being the prankster of the Jacksons what will her next joke be? Could we see This Is It 2 coming from Katherine as she laughs? Who knows. But all that is known is that as long as Katherine keeps pulling pranks it'll be exciting.


Cuss Count: Low

Legal Notice: This post is satire. Not all of the accounts, memories, or quotes may be truthful. Other than MJHDC nobody had anything to do with this post. If linking to this post remember it was created as satire; and as such may not be 100% truthful.


d.o. said...

OMG! LMAO!! Damn, I'm creepy monotonously laughing over here, trough the whole damn post. Thank you conspiracy, once again!

Anonymous said...

LOL Smiling

Anonymous said...

Doggie, someone potraited Madam Katherine, Queen of pranks as an echo of your today's writing.

Still waiting for the colors drying...

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