World Exclusive Message From Soup

A couple of days ago I received an email from someone who claims they had no place to turn to. I'd go into detail here but the email says it all really.

To: mjhdconspiracy@gmail.com

From: michellesimpson@yahoo.com

Date: Friday, February 19, 2010 - 10:20PM

Subject: Please Help!!!!

I am sorry for contacting you. My friends will think I am crazy contacting someone who is happy to be called a dog. I don't know who else to ask about this. I'm sorry for not making sense but at the moment I am pretty shaken up; I have even started smoking. The other day I made lunch for my family and myself and as usual the kids finished and went outside, the husband finished and disappeared in case the I needed help with the dishes - he always does this. As I was eating the phone rang and it was my friend Debbie, her son is in hospital with some fungal growth. Kevin, who lives next door, to me, not to Debbie said that he thinks they will amputate.

But after I got off the phone I went back to the table to finish my lunch; although to be honest I wasn't really feeling like eating as Debbie had gone into graphical detail about how the fungal growth was starting to spread.
But as I sat down, I looked at my bowl and the alphabites were spelling out a message, the message was "DUTCH LESBIANS TELL LIES MJ2010". I didn't know what to think. I called my husband in but he just shouted something about time to see the doctor again. I called my daughter and she looked at the bowl and took a picture with her cell phone.

As I said I didn't know what to do or what to think. I decided to see if this had happened to anyone before, so I got on the Internet and googled MJ2010. There was no results that made any sense and none that were linked to dutch lesbians. But from what I can make out it seems MJ is Michael Jackson. I'm still not sure what the 2010 means though.

As I did more and more research on the Internet your blog was the only link which had anything to do with Dutch lesbians and Michael Jackson. Please help me if you can.
I attached the photo from my daughters cell phone. Well I didn't she did but you will get to see the picture no matter who attached it.

Michelle Simpson

After reading the email and looking at the picture I was compelled to reply to Michelle and decipher the cryptic message in her alphabites.

To: michellesimpson@yahoo.com

From: mjhdconspiracy@gmail.com

Date: Sunday, February 21, 2010 - 6:25PM

Subject: re: Please Help!!!!

Hi Michelle, In reply to your email, the only thing that I can think of is that the "DUTCH LESBIANS TELL LIES" refers to Souza and Mo. They have a website, forum, and blog that is basically an Illuminati headquarters.

As for the "TELL LIES" they did say practically every single musical artist is involved with the Illuminati in some way - If Britney Spears had enough brains to feel fear she'd be popping pills like a kid with a new Pez dispenser. In my opinion all this Illuminati bullshit is exactly that - bullshit. It is merely paranoia created by a few people that seem to think that less than 2% of the worlds population can control the other 98% through music and music videos.

As for the "MJ2010" I have no clue. Maybe it is a message from Michael himself warning against the "DUTCH LESBIANS" that "TELL LIES". I am not sure. Who knows? I don't that is for sure. Maybe you were chosen to announce his comeback this year. Who knows? Not me.

As for the other things you mentioned. Don't worry about Debbie's son. He'll be fine. He will be able to steal the shoes they show in the shops now as he wont need the left foot shoe. As for your husband helping with dishes make the tight fucker buy a dishwasher; or at the very least make him tell the kids to do the dishes - child labor laws only count if the kids say something. Hope that has calmed your nerves a little bit.

MJHD Conspiracy - Laugh@Hate

So from all this we can conclude that Michael is alive and surfing the Internet. With Michelle's permission I have included the picture that her daughter took.

Michelle's Soup Message


Legal Notice: Satire Humor. Michelle Simpson never emailed me. There is no proof that Souza and Mo are lesbians - but it is funny as hell to suggest it.


Iloveyoumore said...

Haha! Love. It. You need to start getting paid for this stuff...

Anonymous said...

so funny. I think it's even funnier that they all believe in the illuminati junk and actually think michael is alive.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure there's people out there actually believing this story.
You know, missing the humour and all. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Conspiracy said: "It is merely paranoia created by a few people that seem to think that less than 2% of the worlds population can control the other 98% through music and music videos."

BINGO! That's exactly my point. I am SO sick and tired of those Illuminati bullshit theories! I can't stand those Dutch lesbians and their crackpot theories any longer!

Wake the fuck up, you idiots. If you think that the Illuminfarty is controlling you trough music videos, you seriously belong in a mental institution. NO-ONE is forcing you to watch those crappy Lady Gaga's videos. Until someone points a gun at your head and forces you to watch that shit, you still have the CHOICE to change the channel or, better yet, turn off the damn tv! Just turn off that damn thing and go talk a walk outside - It will do you wonders, you assholes.

tis_me said...

Letters in food? That's ridiculous!

mjjveritas said...

Conspiracy, That's decided then. Alphabetti Spaghetti for supper it is. What a great recipe idea. You have saved me hours of menu planning. Thank you, thank you.

Michael The King said...

Conspiracy what happened to your TWITTER account? I wanted to add you but no luck :(

MJHD Conspiracy said...

Michael The King said: "Conspiracy what happened to your TWITTER account? I wanted to add you but no luck :("

The twitter account got changed to CelebHoaxDeaths because of the other blog:


Anonymous said...

haha,great,wasnt here for a while but the noodles did really hit me,lol....hahaha....

Finnlady77 said...

Haha.. :P That was good, dog, and well said again.

And I agree with you, Anonymous 5:10.

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