More Nuts Than A Gay Bar

Just when you think you have seen it all and you kind of feel nothing could top the S&M forum in stupidity ranks something comes along that just makes you sit up and say to yourself "How the fuck did these retards get on a computer?"

I was over at MJHD.NET and noticed a thread called "MJ Suicide Cult - Are They For Real?" Now I'm not saying the MJHD.NET members are retarded but I am pointing the finger at this cult and the dumbass reporter, Clarence Starr, who reported decided to put this shit on the Internet.

In the thread there is a link to a Wordpress site called The American Titanic which has the report on this cult.

Now the article is all about some cult that is allegedly going to commit suicide on Michael Jackson's birthdays. I kid you not, these fucking retarded assholes actually said "birthdays". Not sure how you commit suicide more than once but these people are going to do it. Maybe through some mystical power they have harnessed the ability to reincarnate so they can commit suicide each year.

But before you think to yourself "Birthdays??? It can get no more fucking stupid." it does. One member of the cult has even spoken to Michael from the grave. I swear there should be IQ tests before allowing certain people on computers. Michael said from the grave: "Drink from my cup and join me in paradise. We will sing and dance together again all throughout eternity."

But these nutjobs don't stop with that. Not only did Michael speak from the grave, he also spoke as he died to Murray.

While Conrad tried to revive the superstar, he saw Michael’s spirit looking down on him and the spirit spoke to him and said: “Thriller. It is time. Tell my real fans to now follow me to join me in my new Neverland that has been given to me by my father who is in heaven. Until the appointed day, I’m not coming back in the flesh. Then, with those who join me now, we will all rise again.” (extract from the article)

But wait, before you dismiss this as a load of old bullshit, there is a prize awaiting you if you are stupid enough to commit suicide on Michael's birthday - you get to sit at the 'chief table' in the 'chief room'.

The original article was put up on July 19, 2009 and a quick Google search of suicides on August 29 didn't bring up anything related other than the original article. So someone decided to chicken out at the last moment. Or maybe they got a message from Michael saying "Not this year - maybe next, the chief room isn't quite ready yet."

There was a suicide bombing in France on August 29, 2009. A suicide bomber in Pakistan on the same day. Also some fat girl committed suicide on the same date because the other kids were making fun of her. And some guy committed suicide because he lost his iPhone.

Suicide bombers, fat girl, and an idiot die from suicide but as of now the Michael Jackson Suicide Cult lives on.

Peace.