2/18/2010

Larry King Speaks

Due to various broadcasting laws about profanity the interview that I completed at CNN was never aired. When I requested the video so that it could be shown CNN denied this request although it was said that I could put the entire transcript online.

Here is the entire transcript of the interview between myself and Larry King:

Transcript - Larry King Live 02/17/2010 (DO NOT AIR)

Larry: So they call you the dog?
Me: Yes Larry. Well that is one of the better names I get called.
Larry: So why are you on CNN?
Me: I don't know Larry. Have you seen the blog?
Larry: Well, yes, you are one disturbed individual.
Me: Thanks Larry. I like your work too.
Larry: (laughs) You are not in my league at all young pup.
Me: I could do your job. No problem.
Larry: (still laughing) Go on then; you interview me.
Me: Sure. OK. You sure about this?
Larry: In your words - No problem.

(Larry and the dog switch places. Despite pleas from the director Larry allows this charade to go on. The director opens a bottle of vodka.)

Me: So, Larry welcome to your show.
Larry: (laughing) Well thank you.
Me: So let us get right down to it. Do you read any Michael Jackson hoax related forums?
Larry: Yes I do. Any in particular you wish me to comment on?
Me: Lets start with the Michael Jackson Death Hoax Investigators forum.
Larry: (laughing) Oh you mean the S&M forum. I know you have a lot to say on that subject.
Me: But what do you have to say Larry?
Larry: I don't buy it. What is with all this Illuminati paranoia got to do with Michael? It started off alright but now I'm starting to think Alex Jones writes most of that shit.

(Floor manager mentions that cursing will be bleeped out)

Me: So you don't believe in the Illuminati?
Larry: Well we, I mean they, exist but not to the extent that they seem to think. On the forum you mentioned they are a theory away from tying Jesus into the Illuminati.
Me: You know he's still alive?
Larry: (chuckling) Who, Jesus or Michael?
Me: Michael.
Larry: Well that I cannot comment on. Is Michael alive or is Michael dead? Only a few know for sure.
Me: Are you one of them?
Larry: (laughing) Well if I say I am your next question is going to be if he is alive.
Me: Yeah.
Larry: OK. Let us just get this out the way. Michael is alive and I do know that for sure.

(Larry whispered to the floor manager about editing that section out)

Me: So when can we expect a comeback?
Larry: Holy shit! Sure you don't want me to just call him and you can ask him.
Me: Sure.
Larry: (laughing) It is not going to happen.
Me: OK. So back to the S&M forum. Larry, what is your opinion of how the forum is run?
Larry: The Admins of that forum are fucking Nazis.
Me: Surely just a comparative term?
Larry: No. They are fucking Nazis. Dictators. Let us be honest here dog, this shit is never going to be aired so I can say what the fuck I like. Nobody is going to see it.
Me: Well is there any point in continuing?
Larry: (laughing hard) Not really. But hey I have some time to waste. You?
Me: Sure. So why were the Jackson brothers wearing earpieces?
Larry: Because there was 4 brothers and only one brain. So they had to be told what to say.
Me: So which was the smartest brother?
Larry: None. All in it for themselves. No wonder Michael faked his death. Get away from these fucking leeches. Mind if I smoke?
Me: No, go ahead, So has Michael ever mentioned Jermaine, or any other brother?
Larry: The guy had to fake his death. Think he cares about them? Although there is the occasional text message about Jermaine's hair. And last night we were watching the re-run of the Family Dynasty and Michael was shooting sucker darts at Jermaine and Tito's hat on the TV.
Me: So why the faked death anyway?
Larry: Because the Illuminati are out to kill him. (laughing so much he had to drink water). No seriously I cannot answer that.

Unfortunately at that point the interview was stopped and I was escorted out of the CNN building.

Below is one of the test screens that was shot whilst lighting and sound were setting up.

Larry King At My Interview

Peace.

Legal Notice: This interview never took place and Larry King has never been proven to be either a Illuminati member or having an opinion on the S&M forum. This is merely satire.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL...even though its satire you watch the shit hit the fan doggie...On another note...RIP Bon Scott 30yrs ago today (aussie time)or is this another conspiracy?..If only!!
Doggie you are on the Highway to Hell so have fun mate!!

TOSHA said...

I LOVED it

Anonymous said...

Fucking hell you're one funny bastard/bastardess! Poor Larry didn't have a chance once you switched seats. LMFAO
"Mind if I smoke?" ROFLMAO

AnnieisokEy said...

I haven't laughed this hard in a while.
Thanks doggie!

The MJ Sisters said...

awesome!!!!!!! i wouldn't be surprised if cyber-cops came and got the dutch sluts!!!
lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

The director opens a bottle of vodka.

LMAO!!

Anonymous said...

ROTFLBSST! This is by far my favourite Larry King interview! Loved it!

"Update: Dutch lesbian duo linked to the very mysterious Illuminati group."

LOL! I like your attention to detail! It's funny how the Dutchies are exposing the Illuminati but acting just like them... You know, banning everyone who dares to disagree with them, LOL. Keep up the good work, Conspiracy!

mjjveritas said...

Conspiracy, You have a funny and active imagination. You didn't happen to see "Dave Dave" there by any chance? I can just hear Larry King saying, "Joining us here in Los Angeles Dog Dog, yes, that's his name.

Finnlady77 said...

That was so good! :P

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