7/01/2011

Interviewing Randy Jackson

Recently I caught up with Randy Jackson and questioned him about the possibility his brother had faked his death. The transcript that follows is unedited.

MJHDC: Hey Randy. Whoa you have piled a few pounds on.
Randy: What?
MJHDC: So let us jump right in to this. Did your brother Michael fake his death?
Randy: I don't have a brother called Michael.
MJHDC: I see what your saying; so you are saying he is dead?
Randy: No. I'm saying I don't have a brother called Michael.
MJHDC: So that is how you want to play it?
Randy: Play what?
MJHDC: So what do you think of Jermaine writing a book?
Randy: What the fuck does Jermaine Jackson writing a book have to do with me?
MJHDC: Well nothing but I thought you may have an opinion.
Randy: I haven't read it. What am I suppose to say?
MJHDC: Nothing if you never bothered to read it. Bit of a dysfunctional family.
Randy: You don't even know my family. What the fuck?
MJHDC: OK. So what do you think of Conrad Murray's upcoming trial?
Randy: Nothing. I have more important things to worry about.
MJHDC: Well you are a cold bugger for sure.
Randy: I just don't care about this Murray character.
MJHDC: Well I understand that but I thought you might have an opinion.
Randy: Hell no.
MJHDC: Anything to say about Janet's book?
Randy: Janet who?
MJHDC: Oh your just not with it today.
Randy: You mean Janet Jackson?
MJHDC: Well yeah. Didn't think I'd have to use your sister's last name.
Randy: My sister? Oh fuck I know what is going on.
MJHDC: (laughing) So does Jackie. Least you listened to your brother's song.
Randy: Dawg you got the wrong Randy Jackson.
MJHDC: So your a double? Does the whole family use doubles?
Randy: I'm on American Idol.
MJHDC: Is that like Jermaine on 'Dance Like Michael'?
Randy: I am not Randy Jackson.
MJHDC: OK. So what is your name.
Randy: Randy Jackson.
MJHDC: See, I knew you couldn't fool me. So how is your Mom?
Randy: She is fine. Oh you mean Katherine Jackson; she is not my Mom.
MJHDC: I could understand you disowning your Dad, Joe, but not your Mom.
Randy: I'm not disowning my Mom just she is not my Mom.
MJHDC: So you were adopted?
Randy: No.
MJHDC: See that is better.
Randy: Look. You know Steve Tyler and Jennifer Lopez?
MJHDC: Yeah.
Randy: And the other judge is?
MJHDC: Simon Cowell.
Randy: Exactly. That is me.
MJHDC: Simon Cowell is white you might want to stick to impersonating Randy Jackson.
Randy: What? Oh fuck. Simon Cowell left.
MJHDC: True. Might not want to bother impersonating him.
Randy: I'm not impersonating Simon Cowell.
MJHDC: Good; you would never pull it off.
Randy: Huh?
MJHDC: So do you see Michael coming back?
Randy: I am Randy Jackson not Randy Jackson.
MJHDC: What? That doesn't make sense.
Randy: What I mean is that I am a different Randy Jackson.
MJHDC: Evolved? Obviously. Nobody would expect you to stay the same. Jackson 5 was just an era.
Randy: I wasn't in the Jackson 5.
MJHDC: Your brother's death must have really upset you. You are forgetting everything.
Randy: Oh dawg I am so out of here.
MJHDC: Well thanks for stopping by Randy. Any plans for later this year?
Randy: Well I'll be doing some publicity for American Idol.
MJHDC: Thought we discussed this. You are no Simon Cowell.
Randy: (throws chair) I'm out.

So although it may be easy to point fingers at the Jackson family it is clear from talking to Randy that June 25, 2009 has seriously effected them; and it may be years before they can come to terms with it enough to discuss it.

No Love.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

LMAO! GOOD ONE DOG!!
Miriam034.

Anonymous said...

Way too fun!

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