8/31/2010

What Forum Covers Michael Jackson?

So I just took a look at the active topics at the S&M Concentration Camp. And it is still pretty fucked up over there. Alright the gay clown seems to have taken a back seat, and Souza is her usual bitchy self. But the topic of Michael Jackson seems to be missing which is just fucking crazy when you consider the forum is that of Michael Jackson Death Hoax Investigators. Seriously, over 50% of the active topics on the first page of active topics concerns the nWo and all that bullshit.

Now I'm not saying that the Illuminati is non-existent, I just don't think they are as powerful as they are made out to be. But that is beside the point when the forum is meant to be about Michael Jackson's hoaxed death.


The active topics break down to this:

14 topics - New World Order/Illuminati (56%)
11 topics - Michael Jackson related (44%)

Now I know Souza has said in the past that she is not a Michael Jackson fan, and that is fine, but when more than 50% of the topics don't relate to Michael Jackson when it is entitled Michael Jackson Death Hoax Investigators things start to seem as though something is not right.

Looking at the facts as presented by Souza's twisted view is that the Illuminati is all-powerful controlling the world, its governments, and everyone in it. And this has what to do with Michael Jackson? Absolutely fuck all. If this alleged powerful Illuminati wanted Michael Jackson dead he would be dead; there would be no hoax. So either the bullshit they keep spewing about the Illuminati is just that - bullshit or they think that Michael Jackson is dead. You can't have everything both ways. 13 families controlling the world but unable to kill one singer, no matter how famous he is, or the plain fact that the Illuminati have absolutely nothing to do with Michael Jackson hoaxing his death.

Which then leads to the question - why is the Illuminati mentioned so much on a Michael Jackson Hoax Death forum if they have nothing to do with it? The answer is easier than it looks. The answer is because the Illuminati conspiracies actually make Souza's theories look like they actually have some sound basis. Its the old trick of hanging around with ugly people so that you look better. Nothing could make Souza's theories look better than a bunch of bullshit about some fossil fucking bankers are controlling the very food you eat, and if you think that you have a thought it is because allegedly they are controlling your mind too.

So without further ado, on behalf of all the sane hoaxers, and investigators, I hereby request that Souza renames the site and forum to NotTheMichaelJacksonDeathHoaxInvestigators or NTMJDHI so that the people that are following the hoax, and investigating it, do not get tarred with the same brush that they are some Dutch lesbian cunt on drugs shoving the Illuminati down everyones throats just to make their own half-baked ideas look more respectable than they really are.

Cuss Count: Low

Legal Notice: The fact that Souza is on drugs, or is a lesbian, has not been confirmed. But as Souza has stated on her forum that is not her real name legally I can say what I want about it as it not a real person. This however does not mean that I fully believe Souza is merely the alter-ego of Mo.

8/30/2010

Alvin And The Chipmunks Are Back

Today at a packed press conference Alvin and the Chipmunks announced their comeback. With a new recording contract from Sony it appears as though Alvin, Simon, and Theo are ready to storm the charts and take the top position from the likes of Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga.

Some of the Chipmunks newer fans might not be so impressed with their new style. Alvin said about the new style: "Man, it is fucked up that you think chipmunks don't grow up. I aint going to be doing little kid shit the rest of my life. And if people don't like it then fuck them. It is what we want to do and not what some snotty nosed kid wants."

Simon, talking about the first single to be released later this year said: "American Bad Ass is ours. People think we are just covering Kid Rock, but we wrote that shit and he stole it. When we was up in Detroit we ran into Kid Rock and he was all up in Alvin's face and Alvin just offered him out right there. Kid Rock backed down faster than shit off a shovel."

Sony spokesperson, Kevin Butler, said "We are happy to have Alvin and the Chipmunks with Sony. Obviously we had to update the image somewhat. And we sat down with them and decided together which direction they wanted to go in. This new image isn't going to be met with enthusiasm from some of the parents but it is the path they want to take. The new album, to be released later this year, is a real venture for these guys."

Theo, speaking about the new album said: "We have been in the studio for the last few months. Laying down some tracks and making it as tight as hell. We have a lot of past to try and forget so we can move forward. I mean those shit films we did with that guy from My Name Is Earl that was just about the money. We didn't want to do them but when someone is waving a pile of cash in front of you then you have to forget dignity. We are already talking to Snoop Dogg about a film where we can show our true selves."

The press conference went without a hitch despite Alvin storming out due to a disagreement about his cocaine habit and rehab. He said as he stormed out "What I put up my fucking nose is none of your fucking business. This is showbiz bitch you got to do certain things to survive the shit they throw at you."

Britney Spears, speaking at the press conference, was shocked "I thought they were cute and fluffy, you know like fluffy little clouds, and then they swear and and say things even I wouldn't say. I was shocked. But I am dating Alvin in an on/off relationship."



Cuss Count: High

Legal Notice: Sony, Alvin & The Chipmunks, Kid Rock, and Britney Spears had nothing to do with this imaginary press conference. Snoop Dogg is actually talking a film deal with the chipmunks. This post is satire. Do not take it seriously.

8/21/2010

Abortion For The Sake Of Michael

Over at MJHD.Net a topic caught my eye. It was entitled "I Can't Bring A Child Into A World That Doesn't Have Michael". I'll be honest I thought one of the flower brigade had seriously lost the fucking plot for sure. I pondered for a moment the possibility of one of the flower brigade actually reproducing and shuddered.

But luckily it was not one of the flower brigade. Seems it was some other crackhead on Yahoo Questions; who asked:

"My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years and I finally found out I was last week. But now I am just so sad over the loss of Michael Jackson that I don't even think I can bring a baby into this world. My husband says he understands and supports me but I don't think he understands fully. I want to abort. I want to abort right now because Michael Jackson has died. Should I tell my husband this? I don't want to sound crazy. Will he support me?" - Angela Angelasonk


I am glad to say that the flower brigade agree with my sentiments that this Angela is a complete fucking loser and needs some help. But obviously ridiculing Angela would do nothing as she is most likely too mentally retarded to understand sarcasm, wit, and insults.

So I donned my 'Agony Aunt' hat and decided to offer Angela a more constructive answer.

Dear Angela, I am not sure who you are or how old either you or your husband are but I want to help. It would seem from your question that you have some issues which may never be resolved but let us not forget we are talking about a child's life. What the fuck is wrong with you? Your husband is going to support you? Both of you make a strong argument that prospective parents should indeed be tested to determine eligibility. Even considering aborting a life for such a fucked up reason means neither of you should ever be allowed to reproduce. Spreading weak genes even thinner is not going to help the world in any way whatsoever. Because Michael Jackson died you think your baby should be aborted? What if your mother had thought the same thing as she lounged in her double-wide trailer because John F. Kennedy had died or Elvis had died? Your dumb ass would not be here to consider such a retarded thought. Let us get down to basics here. What the fuck would Michael Jackson have to do with your child? Seriously, what bearing would he have on the child's life? I'm pretty sure that the child has just as much chance of surviving whether or not Michael Jackson is on this Earth. Think about how many people died while you spent 9 months in your mother's womb. If the entire world took your point of view nobody would be alive. Everyone would have stopped having babies just in case someone they knew, or admired, died in that 9 months. You say your husband is supporting you. I'm pretty sure he is as fucked up as you. Does he have a clue why you want to abort a life? If the answer to that is yes then you both deserve each other. If, on the other hand, he is unaware of why you wish to abort I would suggest that he has you committed to an asylum for your own sake. But while considering your option to abort you should first consider why the fuck you didn't use some sort of contraceptive before getting yourself knocked up. Because if you are willing to consider abortion for such a ridiculous reason there are doubts that you ever really wanted to get pregnant. Was it a case of your husband was possibly going to leave you and you thought you could tie him down by getting pregnant and now the reality of being responsible for a life has you shitting yourself fucking silly? Obviously your brain is not wired correctly so the possibility of thinking may not be possible, but have you ever thought what Michael Jackson would think of such an action? You say you are doing this because Michael Jackson died but in all honesty I feel you are only considering such action to cover your own stupidity and the excuse that Michael Jackson died is merely that - an excuse. My advice to you is to have this child adopted. Then get yourself and your husband to the nearest hospital and make sure neither of you can ever think of reproducing again. That way you can rock your trailer each and every night without the worry that you may have to take responsibility for your own actions. MJHDC

People often wonder why Michael Jackson may have faked his death. With fans like this it is not hard to see why.

Peace.

Cuss Count: Low

Legal Notice: Although it is not illegal for some people to reproduce there are cases much like this which act as evidence that it should be.

8/17/2010

Exclusive New Twitter For Hoaxers

Twitter announced today that it is to start a new version of the famous social networking site for Michael Jackson Hoax Death believers.

Twitter spokesperson, Jenna Sampson, said to a packed press conference: "As many have become aware by how many times they have seen the fail whale Twitter has become overcrowded and in all honesty our servers are struggling to keep up with demand. We looked long and hard at the current users that are using Twitter and decided that Michael Jackson Hoax Death believers deserved their very own Twitter - which we are calling Twatter. But not all hoax believers will be assigned to Twatter; there is certain criteria to meet. We are at present going through the twitter accounts to ascertain which believers should be moved to Twatter."

The criteria to be moved from Twitter to Twatter is:
  • You have tweeted to someone believing them to be Michael Jackson since June 25, 2009.
  • You have asked a verified Jackson account for Michael Jackson's twitter account.
  • You have followed some anonymous account believing it to be Michael Jackson, a friend of Michael Jackson, an employee of Michael Jackson or the Jackson family.
  • You have tweeted that you have spoken to Michael Jackson online.
  • You think the number seven holds the answer to the hoax.
  • Twitter just thinks you are too weird to be allowed to be around others.
Jenna Sampson, who claimed she was no relation to Amy Sampson, continued: "For the protection of everyone we have to keep these people away from the public. They believe anything. For all we know the next alleged Michael Jackson could be a serial killer and one of these dumb people will be meeting up for a date with death. So we intend to put them in a more secure version of Twitter, called Twatter, where they will be more extensively monitored so they are not harmed; and are a harm to nobody else. We at Twitter like to think of it as Kindergarten Twitter; but we have a ton of Twitter t-shirts to sell so we can just cover the 'i' with an 'a' and still sell them to these people.

The computer industry, and various experts, have complained that Twitter is not supporting a fair and just policy in deciding who is to remain in Twitter and who will be moved to the new Twatter servers.

Al Sharpton, long-time friend of Michael Jackson and unofficial spokesman for the hoax believers said: "Well God bless Twitter. We have to look out for these people. Damn, they so slow they think Michael is going to be tweeting on some website - they obviously need help."

Joe Jackson, father of Michael Jackson, said: "When am I getting paid? Charity? Fuck that. Charity begins at home. I got fucking kids to feed. Admittedly they aint my kids they are Jermaine's kids but I still got to feed them. Twitter? Twatter? Shut the hell up and write me a fucking check."

Bill Gates, of Microsoft, said: "This is how Microsoft envisioned the future. All online activity monitored and people put into certain groups. I wholeheartedly support Twitter and now Twatter in doing this. Microsoft plan to launch MSN for the ghetto in the near future - MFSN (Motherfucking Social Networking)."

Souza, of MJDHI, said: "Wij steunen dit en hopen om te adverteren op ons forum om deze zeer 'bijzondere' gebruikers." Which when translated into a real language says: "We support this and are hoping to advertise our forum to these very 'special' users." Mo, who was unavailable at the conference had a statement read out in English which said: "We are the ones that keep this hoax alive you will all fall to our ways or be crushed. Remember Poland 1939? Queen Souza will rule the world."


Jenna Sampson confirmed that both Souza and Mo will be on the new Twatter servers as soon as possible. She added: "Not because they meet the official criteria but all this Elvis and MJ bullshit has to stop."

Twatter will be launched officially in September 2010.

Peace.

Cuss Count: Medium (Thanks To Joe Jackson)

Legal Notice: Jenna Sampson does indeed work for Twitter but had nothing to do with this post; nor did anyone else as it is merely satire. If you believe in Twatter go to Twatter.com which is actually a website - kind of like Twitter for rejects.

8/10/2010

New Propofol Advertising Announced

Today Astra Zeneca announced a new advertising campaign for the drug it markets as Propofol.

Nigel Poole, spokesperson for Astra Zeneca, said: "Ever since last year our company has received a lot of bad press over Propofol. It didn't help that it was the drug allegedly used by Dr. Conrad Murray; and in turn was attributed to the fatal cardiac arrest suffered by Michael Jackson. Through a process of think tanks and research we have decide to use the negative as an advantage and in the fall of this year will be plastering billboards across the United States with our new advertisements."



Some have suggested that Astra Zeneca are merely attempting to make money off of the name Michael Jackson. One such opponent of the new advertising, Brian Oxman said "Its a fucking joke. This man kills the king of pop and then he gets an advertising contract to market the same drug that he used to kill Michael Jackson."

Jermaine Jackson, brother of Michael Jackson, said "I use it all the time. I use it on the wife. I come home and she starts on about my hair looking greasier than a deep fat fryer and shit. So I just give her a shot and tell her that its the hair that makes the money. She usually has about 7 seconds to answer before the Propofol kicks in."

Jason Weinberg, manager of Lindsay Lohan, had this to say "Obviously my client couldn't be here today but she is here in spirit. Lindsay never wanted to get mixed up with Murray in any way but who knows one day they may be in the same correctional facility. How many other people made $25,000 while sitting in jail and rehab?"

Talking about the advertising Conrad Murray said "I got vacations to pay for, I got child support to pay, I got strippers to pay, and I got to eat too. There aint no fucking patients coming to me for medical advice. Hell, some little punk sprayed 'Rot In Hell Dr Death' on my vehicle. When Astra Zeneca contacted me and said I would get $15,000 I jumped all over it. What the fuck do you mean Lindsay Lohan got $25,000? She aint nothing but a skanky fucking whore. I'm worth more than that drunk ass bitch. Get me my fucking lawyer."


The advertising campaign is expected to start in early October.

Cuss Count: Low

Legal Notice: Nobody really was at the announcement as it never happened. All names used are used in satire. Propofol is not really that good for you.

8/04/2010

And They Warn About The nWo

While I was researching something completely non-connected with this post and blog someone sent me a direct message on Twitter to have a look at a forum topic at the S&M Concentration Camp.

The topic was entitled "TIAI Update #6: Michael & Elvis, Double-bam This Summer?!?". I remembered seeing this shit before so didn't bother reading the same fucked up shit once again. I sent a direct message back thanking them but I'd already seen it. Then about five minutes later I got another direct message, from the same person, saying to read section 6-10.

I'll be honest I was thinking of saying fuck it and turning the computer off at this point. I don't follow the TIAI bullshit because in my opinion it is merely that - bullshit. But out of curiosity I went and had a look at section 6-10. And the truth of the matter, which is posted by Tim Simkin (TS) at the S&M Concentration Camp is TS basically admitted to mind fucking all the people that follow the fucked up bullshit known as TIAI.

"For your information: I am familiar with the STUDY website. Does this mean that it is me, my website? Maybe; or maybe it’s someone I know; or maybe that website was used as a decoy. Regardless of which is the actual case: you are being tested, to see whether you can unbiasedly assess evidence based upon the evidence itself—and not on who the evidence came from, or who you think it came from, etc. Many are failing the test, and they didn’t even know that they were being tested. In fact, there is no better way to test people, than to do it without their knowledge; then people act natural, and don’t try to make themselves into something artificial. Does it make any difference, whether you pass or fail this test? Good question; but I won’t give the answer to that right now."

Didn't know they were being tested? So it was a subconscious test? And if it is a test that people have not agreed to that would mean it is an experiment. Oh the fucking irony of it all little Timmy, the hypocrite minister, is treating all the followers of TIAI as fucking lab rats. What next? He'll be getting you to try different shampoos in your eyes and recording the results.

And then we have the almost classic "But I won't give the answer to that right now." line. Where has that been heard before? Oh yeah the alleged lesbian Dutch cunts gave the same bullshit with the movie theory. You have to fucking laugh. History repeats itself and the retarded sheeple line up like whores when the fair is in town to take a good old fashioned fuck up the ass. Maybe the S in S&M stands for Sodomy.

So the Dutch cunts, or cunt if you follow the theory that Mo is nothing more than a figment of Souza's twisted, overactive, imagination, are going to allow little Timmy to manipulate the forum members without their knowledge? Thought that was what the Resistance Army was trying to stop with the Illuminati and nWo.

Seems Hypocrisy is ruling at the S&M Concentration Camp.

Peace.

Cuss Count: High

Legal Notice: If you get fucked once in the ass and you wait around to get fucked in the ass again you deserve it. Maybe TS should change his name to KY.

8/03/2010

What Went Wrong?

It has been a little over a month since I stepped away from the bullshit. And stepping back in the only question I can really ask is "What the fuck went wrong?" Nobody learned anything. And the same fucktard cunts that were fooling the people are still there fooling the same dumb fucks that follow them like they are some fucking new-age prophets.

What the fuck are some of you people thinking? Souza starts a spam campaign to get the whole fucked up Elvis and MJ shit out to the media. And you follow her every Nazi-style command like it is fucking gospel. You forget that Michael Jackson had a major problem with the very trash media that Souza is trying cover the whole fucked Elvis and MJ double Bamsday theory. But let us remember it isn't about Michael Jackson it is about whatever fucked up theory Souza is spoon feeding at the present time.

You all forgot the dog autopsy theory? And the almost infamous movie theory which was so correct the blog had to be locked until it was time to share with the world? Where are those theories now? Down the fucking toilet with all the other shit.

Back on August 16, 1977 Elvis sat there watching a young Michael Jackson perform "We're Almost There" on TV and decided that he would fake his death and wait 32 years for young Michael to grow up and eventually fake his death so that they could have the fucking comeback to end all comebacks. Whatever fucking crystal ball Elvis was using to know that Michael would reach superstar status and fake his death - I want one of those bastards just for a couple of minutes. Trace Elvis' genealogy back and you'll most likely find he was related to Nostradamus.

Well it was on the S&M Nazi Concentration Camp so it has to be true. And if you take a little wander over there you'll see that there are some fucked up people going along with that shit.

But it is not just the Nazi lesbians that are fucking with people. Just take a look at Youtube, Twitter, and the forums to see some shit of proportions so large it could of ended the oil disaster weeks ago.

Staying with the S&M Concentration Camp you have Souza almost kissing little Timmy's ass as he puts the TIAI links to her Nazi-style forum. And who is Tim Simkin? Some religious minister (separate from his Mom and Dad's ministry if you want to send a check). So we have some fucking bible thumper who is meant to be against lying and that sort of shit putting links about Michael Jackson lying to the world. And yes Michael is lying - he faked his death. So little Timmy hits the category of fucking hypocrite. ("Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight." - Proverbs 12:22)

Youtube is just as bad for getting sheeple to follow any bullshit that is given to them. Leachcim Noskcaj. Come on you have to be fucking kidding me. How can anyone believe this fucking shit? Michael fakes his death and makes sure there is no physical trace - including security tapes - as evidence. But in a clinic he gets videotaped and it is uploaded to Youtube by 7 friends helping him. Seven friends, it has to be a fucking clue. Number 7 yet again; how could anyone doubt this? Because if you pull off the greatest hoax the world has ever seen you don't allow it to be jeopordized so your seven alleged friends can upload it to Youtube.

Twitter is the official home to more Michael Jacksons than a Michael Jackson look-a-like competition. Any fucker can be Michael. And no you don't need to prove you are really Michael because there are thousands of monkey-fucking idiots willing to follow anyone who claims to be Michael Jackson. Don't worry about the logical idea that Michael is not going to give up the hoax so he can tweet to some dumb fuck "I LOVE you more." it isn't important. The name says Michael Jackson (well actually it will say something like m1ch43lj4ck50n) so it must be Michael. And hey there are lots of Michaels to choose from on Twitter so don't just follow the first one you find. You have choices. Get selective. See who tweets the most bullshit before you pick which Michael you are going to follow. Hell if you are lucky you might even get Michael singing.

The forums are full of people who since June 25, 2009 have become legal and medical experts overnight. I'm not talking about the people who actually know their shit; I'm talking about the dumb cunts that read one article online and now they are commenting like they have a PhD or something. Take your fucking GED and go shove it up your ass.

And then we have the crazy fuckers that have nothing but they need their 15 minutes of fame in all this shit. You have people like the screaming banshee Maura. Ask for proof and she has none. Call her a cunt and she'll scream at you for 15 minutes (I was told it was 10-15 minutes, I muted her after 2 minutes).

But why are these fuckers crawling out the woodwork at every single opportunity? Because dumb fucks give them the attention they desire. Souza would fuck off back to her lesbian love shack if people stopped following her crazy ass theories. Youtube would be MJ-related bullshit free if people didn't fall for the lamest fucking shit going. Twitter would revert back to normal (well normal for Twitter) if people didn't follow every lobotomized fucktard that pretended to be Michael, a friend, or an informant.

So the long and short of it is that the hoax community created these fucking egotistical monsters; so you have to deal with them. And you will have to deal with all the others that will come because they want their 15 minutes of online fame. And as long as people are willing to feed their fucked up egos they will come.

Peace.

Cuss Count: Very High

Legal Notice: This post is pointed only at the people that it concerns. If you want to bitch about it then you obviously fall into one of the categories mentioned. And really you shouldn't be bitching because you are one of the fuckers causing this shit.